With Or Without You
by Baby-Jayde
Summary: Sesshomaru has abandoned Rin in a village while he goes off to defeat Naraku. Ten years later, he returns to check in on her, but she is engaged to another lord's son. When she see her old lord, memories, both fond and bad, resurface. Sum sucks, full one
1. For Her Protection

**With Or Without You**

Disclaimer: I own absolutely nada and make even less off of this...

Summary: Ten years ago, Sesshomaru dropped Rin off in a village while he went to battle with Naraku for the final time. When Sesshomaru returns for the now seventeen year old Rin, she is engaged to the lord of another village's son. She is also not too happy that Fluffy just dropped her off in some remote village one day. Sesshomaruis as calm and collected as always, despite the jealousywithin himand Rin tries to bury her old feelings for her previous guardian, but she has now become a woman and is able to understand what she is feeling for the demon and it isn't a fatherly love. What will she and her sophisticated youkai do?

A/n: Well this is my first attempt at a Sess/Rin fic and I'm really excited about this story. Please, please give it a chance, you won't be disappointed! I know it sounds like every other fic about this couple, but I promise it won't be the usual, he sees her, she's pretty, they fall inlove and it's over kind of fic.It's gonna have all thatangst, drama crap that we all love :P

**Chapter One**

**For Her Protection**

The warm, heavy aromas of summer pressed against him as he headed down the glossy green hills. His golden eyes surveyed the area with little interest. The bright colors and pretty scents of the season were not on his mind at the moment, nor were they ever really. He took a in a deep breath, but did not hesitate in his confident stride.

At his heels, as always, was the ever faithful reptilian creature known as Jaken. The green little man followed his master respectively close behind. He continued to jabber on about where they were heading. Excitement, though he tried to play it off as nothing, was radiating in the toad demon's eyes. Sesshomaru also felt that tinge of excitement within him, but he easily pushed it aside and let his calm and collected facade take his anxiety's place.

"I know that she was quite a nuisance m'lord, but it is thoughtful to check in on the mortal. She did save my life once, so I suppose I could see if she is still living."

Sesshomaru simply ignored him, only recognizing the constant drum of Jaken's high pitched voice.

Silver strands of his wispy, long mane blew back as he walked onto the top of the next hill. His fiery eyes looked down to see a small village, where ten years ago, he had left his biggest weakness behind. He could still hear her small voice, see her big, bright brown eyes sparkling to him and could still feel something within him that was protective over the child.

Worry had long since passed from his thoughts about her, but as he stood on the hill overshadowing the small village, he could feel his concerns returning. Somewhere inside, he almost felt happy as well.

'Perhaps I should not disturb her now that she is grown.'

Sesshomaru felt a frown fall upon his face at the doubt within him. Never did he doubt a decision, so why now?

"Well no sense in dawdling, m'lord. Let's head down!" suggested the eager Jaken. With a nod, Sesshomaru led the way down the steep hill.

>

Ten Years Ago...

Wary eyes watched the small child wander into the quaint little village. Her head was hung low and he could smell the bitter scent of salt as she cried. Her shoulders shook with each sob, but she did not turn back as he had ordered her. She was obedient, just like she always was.

The tall, elegant youkai stared as an elderly woman took the child into her arms and spoke with her. Sesshomaru watched as the woman looked up and saw him. At first the woman looked as if she were about to scream. Sesshomaru did not softened the harshness of his glare. After what seemed an eternity, the woman silently agreed by giving him a quick nod and taking the child inside her small home. With that last reassurance, he turned and headed back into the woods with Jaken at his heels.

"Well m'lord, I must say good riddance! Now we can continue our travels in peaceful solitude!" he exclaimed.

Sesshomaru did not speak. He was not quite thrilled at the idea of being alone with Jaken once again.

'I will return for you, Rin.'

The youkai stared straight ahead as Jaken continued to ramble on about the countless possibilities of good fortune they could have with the absence of the little human girl.

Sesshomaru was not as joyful as his follower.

The child's sweet smile and warm laughter had become somewhat refreshing to him. It would seem almost odd without her soft voice at the fires before she and Jaken slept. Her small, but thoughtful gifts to her lord...Sometimes they were a simple flower or shiny rock she'd find particularly special. Whatever it be, they had been gifts to him.

Sesshomaru shook his head to rid himself of such human emotions. He cast his eyes to the side to stare at the small demon beside him.

"Quiet Jaken," he ordered sternly.

The small demon nodded quickly. "Yes m'lord. Whatever you wish."

Sesshomaru shot him another glare and the reptilian creature gulped. His master was obviously not in the best of moods, though it was quite difficult to decipher which mood Sesshomaru was in period.

'So my lord has abandoned the girl to finally finish off Naraku? Could it be that my master has found feelings for this mortal and wishes to protect her by leaving her behind?'

Jaken frowned to himself, trying to keep his beady eyes from catching his master's.

'Impossible. My lord is far too strong and smart to feel for a pathetic child such as Rin.'

Jaken glanced up to the handsome youkai. His golden eyes stared straight ahead, but Jaken could see a tint of turmoil set in his master's eyes. Jaken had followed Sesshomaru long enough to know when he was contemplating something serious. The events were very few when his lord would allow some sort of emotion to pass through his eyes, even on the battlefield.

Jaken kept his observations to himself though, and silently and obediently followed his lord into the dense woods.

Sesshomaru knew that Jaken was watching him carefully. He kept his face blank as he continued to worry about the child. He would not allow even Jaken, who had stayed with him for so many years now, see what he was thinking, what he was feeling.

'I am beginning to be as weak as my damn half-breed, brother,' he cursed himself. He ignored Jaken's concerned stare as he let anger flicker within his golden orbs and headed onward.

>

Rin stared helplessly out into the night. Her big brown eyes were full of tears and were blood shot from crying. Now in the safety of her own room at the lord of the village's house, she was allowed to cry without being babied.

She rested her head upon her small arms and leaned on the windowsill. So many emotions were racing through her small frame.

When Lord Sesshomaru had taken her in just a few months ago, she had felt that she had found a father figure, a guardian. Now she was being stripped of that. Perhaps she was to never be allowed to have a family. It had seemed so perfect and now, her world was crumbling before her once again.

"Lord Sesshomaru," she whimpered quietly, burying her face in her arms.

A fresh onslaught of tears ran down her rosy cheeks and she sniffled softly in the darkness of her room. Once again, she was completely alone.

Down the hall she could hear the loud groups of people, laughing and getting drunk with the lord and his many daughters. Now she was just another daughter of him. The old woman Sesshomaru had instructed her to go to was a cook for the lord of the village. She had taken Rin with her and once the lord's wife had seen Rin, she begged her husband to take in the child as their own.

The old woman had explained the woman's odd behavior, why she had wanted the child so.

Nearly all of the lord's daughters had not received their mother's beauty by birth and were rather heavy and not what you would necessarily call pretty. They had taken after their rather unattractive, fat father. So the entire afternoon the woman had swooned and spoiled Rin.

Rin was quite grateful for what she had received from her new "family" but her mind continued to wander back to what she had felt was her family.

Even if Jaken were cruel to her and constantly belittled her, she did care for him. And whether he admit it or not, she knew he cared for her.

She sniffled again and wiped away the new tears falling relentlessly from her large brown eyes. Without Aun-un's drumming breathing and protective warmth, how was she supposed to fall asleep? She felt scared and defenseless. Were trouble to come here, she knew that none of these people would protect her as her Lord Sesshomaru had. No one could replace him.

'Don't forget me, Lord Sesshomaru. I promise I won't forget you.'

>

A/n: Well there it is, the first chapter. Now I do promise that it will pick up, just give me a lil bit okay? I hope ya'll review, but please don't send any flames...just polite criticism, please. Oh and sorry for the piece of crap dividers, I just couldn't get anything else to work...:P


	2. Rumors

**With Or Without You**

A/n: Wow! I'm so psyched to have received 9 reviews for just the first chapter! Thanks so much you guys! I hope I don't let you down. I like this chapter, kind of describing Rin's life now and then Fluffy coming to the village and so on...Well without further adue, here it is!

**Chapter Two**

**Rumors**

For ten years she'd been patient.

For ten years she had been a good girl and never disobeyed his orders. She had promised him to stay in the village until he returned for her.

However, in four weeks, she would break her promise and move to a village in the east. She would move there, with her husband.

Rin stared blankly out the window of her and the lord's other daughters' room. The sweet scents of summer rushed up and blew warmly upon her pretty face. Her long, thick lashes fluttered slowly against her soft cheeks as boredom continued to swarm around her.

'Of all villages to place me in, why one so far away from anything?' she asked herself. The question had plagued her mind nearly every day, for the small village that she lived in was miles and miles from any others.

She leaned her head gently upon her left hand and let out a long sigh.

The village's lord had taken her in as his own daughter and because of her sweet nature and beauty, he and his wife constantly spoiled her. Rin did not wish to be doted upon so. In fact, it created somewhat of a rivalry between her and the lord's daughters. Even if Rin didn't try to compete with them.

Despite the love the lord and his wife, Lady Adzumi, had given her, one thing had happened that Rin did not mind.

She had met a man named Roiyaru.

He was the son of the nearest village's lord. Nearly nineteen, the boy was smart and kind. Rin adored him dearly, but when he had asked her to marry him, she had taken quite a while to answer him.

Lord Sesshomaru had said that he would come back for her, yet Naraku had been defeated nearly eight years ago. Why had it taken him so long to return for her?

One traveling monk had told her and her father that an inn keeper had heard rumors of a demon's death. The reason why this demon's death was so important was because of their unique, dignified appearance.

Though it were only an unreliable rumor, the terrible thought of his death had made her break down into tears, scaring both her new family and guests. After reassuring them that it were only because she was very stressed, she went to her haven, which was Lady Adzumi's garden. There she had prayed that he were safe somewhere. Even if he never returned for her, she only wanted to be sure that he were alive and well.

Rin continuously felt a lump within her stomach, as if she had done something bad, but hadn't told anyone yet. What this feeling meant, she still did not know. She didn't even know what had caused it.

As she thought of her previous guardian, and she did so very often, she felt anger and betrayal.

Years without word from him, not one word. She had been told, without explanation to go into the village and remain there until he returned for her. She had thought that it would only be a few months. A few months turned into ten years and with ten years of unknowing, one can begin to make up their own excuses.

Rin continued to watch several people walk about the lord's property. She was quite used to continuous crowd that worked upon there.

"Lady Rin!" came a voice suddenly from outside of her room.

She turned just as a young servant stepped in. "M'lady, you must hide yourself!"

Rin frowned. The girl was very pale and looked as if she'd seen a monster.

"What's wrong? What's going on, Tokiko?" Rin asked quietly.

The young girl began to wring her hands together. "I do not wish to frighten you, Lady Rin...but there is a demon heading towards the village!"

Rin did not shriek in fear or run to shelter. Instead a bright smile swept across her face and her eyes sparkled with excitement. "Is this demon tall, with beautiful, long, silver hair?"

Tokiko frowned a moment, then quickly shook her head. "I do not know, m'lady. I was only instructed to hide you."

Rin felt her hope soar. A demon had not come into her village in nearly two decades. The possibilities that this were him were far too great to pass up.

"Lord Sesshomaru!" she whispered.

Tokiko frowned. "What was that m'lady?"

Before the girl could ask again, Rin pushed past her and ran down the steps. Her heart raced with a newfound excitement. For ten years no word, nothing. Now he had returned. He was finally, at last, coming for her!

**>**

"Lord Sesshomaru, what do you think the mortals will do once we enter the village?" asked Jaken quietly, staring at the growing crowd of men at the village's entrance.

Sesshomaru did not answer his small counterpart and continued on confidently.

With each step that neared the village, he felt his anticipation growing. He was quite curious to see how the young child had grown. He had imagined what she looked like before, but only for brief moments before forcing the thoughts from his mind.

Now the time had come for him to allow those thoughts to flood his mind. Soon they would not be mere thoughts, but reality. He would see her once again. He wondered how much she had changed. Had she even obeyed him and remained within the village?

He felt a tiny smudge of pride within. Of course she had. She would do anything he asked her. Would she now though?

He had been gone for a decade without ever even trying to contact her. Yet Sesshomaru was not the type to keep in touch after leaving someone behind. It was rather weird that he were even doing this. 'Why am I so insistent on seeing her again?' he had asked himself hours prior.

He was unable to come up with an answer.

"Halt demon! Begone with you!" yelled a man, interrupting Sesshomaru's deep thoughts.

The tall demon quirked an ebony eyebrow and turned his strong gaze upon the man. Nearing thirty, the man looked dirty and smelly. Sesshomaru simply sneered at him.

"Begone?" he questioned the large man.

Despite the man's girth, easily Sesshomaru towered over him.

"Move out of the way, human."

The man shook his head. "No! I cannot let you into our village!"

Sesshomaru's expression did not change. He simply pushed past the weak man and barged on through the crowd as they split before him, Jaken at his heels. The small toad was amazed at what kindness he was displaying by sparing the mortals' lives.

'Perhaps he does this for Rin?' Jaken scowled. 'Of course not, it's just too easy for him, that's all. My lord likes a challenge.'

Sesshomaru's golden eyes surveyed his surrounding quickly. It appeared to be nearly the same as when he had left Rin years ago. People at first, did not notice him until they realized he had made it past their "guards".

Women started to shriek, grabbing their children and racing inside. Behind him, Sesshomaru could hear the grumbling of the men as they tried to regain their courage.

Sesshomaru sniffed the air discreetly, trying his hardest to find any trace of the young girl's scent. It then dawned on him that as she had aged, her scent must have changed with her. He stopped suddenly and began to study each of the women's faces.

To him, they all appeared the same. Nothing special that could trigger something within him to recognize them as Rin.

"M'lord, how are we supposed to find the child with so many women here?" asked Jaken irritably.

Sesshomaru frowned, glancing to the toad with a blank expression.

Without replying to the creature's obvious question, he continued on.

**>**

Rin had never realized that her village was not as small as she had thought it were. Since summer had finally arrived, there were much more people than the usual crowds. She ran with a smile upon her face. Several people tried to stop the beautiful girl, but she did not hear them.

'I didn't break my promise, Lord Sesshomaru! I never forgot you!'

And then it happened.

Guilt hit her stomach.

'I'm engaged.'

She stopped in mid stride at the thought. Usually when a young woman thinks of those two words, it should be with excitement and glee. However at that moment , when Rin heard them within her mind, she felt that lump within her stomach grow and twist her insides.

She had never experienced such emotions such as this. Never has she actually second guessed her decision to marry Roiyaru. The thought of being married excited her and made her heart soar. To be a kind, sweet, loving wife and mother was what all women wanted. Now that she were to be that, she was very happy. It made her feel anxious and proud. Or at least...it had.

"Lady Rin!" came a voice.

She turned to find Tokiko following her. "Lady Rin! You're mother is looking for you!" she called out, gasping for air.

Rin glanced forward and saw a sudden rush of people running away from the village's entrance.

"Lord Sesshomaru!" she smiled, her voice sounding much like it had ten years ago.

The servant frowned. Confused was written across her forehead as she stared in disbelief at the usually, level-headed, shy, quiet and calm lord's daughter. "Lady Rin, please! You're mother needs you. Please come with me!"

Rin turned to Tokiko and shook her head quickly. "I'm sorry, but I can't."

With one final, brilliantly bright smile, the pretty girl gathered her kimono in her hands and took off in sprint, leaving the young servant to simply stare in disbelief.

**>**

Sesshomaru frowned. 'Perhaps much more has changed.'

In fact it had. The village, despite its still small size, had seemed to double in size. Considering the new season, new travelers and traders had come through with their merchandise. All of that was forgotten though with one glance at the powerful demon.

Black eyebrows were settling into a deeper and deeper frown as he grew a bit worried.

"Is it possible that Rin may have married, m'lord? She is of age after all."

That comment earned the reptile a rather large lump to his head, thanks to the sheath of the Toukijin.

"Lord Sesshomaru," he muttered in pain, holding his head tightly in his scaly hands. 'Why did such a comment offend you?' Jaken asked silently.

The slender figure before him did not pity him at all and continued with his search of the girl.

The men of the village followed behind, but did not try to approach him. Some had heard of this demon and of his reputation. They had heard of his final encounter with the feared demon Naraku. Some had heard that he had died in that final battle along with Naraku. Others had heard that he had disappeared into the south in search of some other dog demon that was rumored to be related to him.

The rumors were far stretched and somewhat unbelievable, even for a demon, but they did keep the men from getting in the way of Sesshomaru's search.

"Jaken, isn't that the old woman that took Rin in?" asked Sesshomaru.

Jaken looked up from studying the ground and noticed the elderly woman. She sat calmly on a bench, a long, twisted tree root as her cane. Her wispy white hair continued to fall in her eyes, but she did not bat it away. She seemed to not even notice the screaming crowds that raced passed her. A sweet smile was spread across her thin lips as she stared off into space.

"Why yes m'lord, it is!" Jaken exclaimed.

Sesshomaru felt something within him rise...anticipation? Excitement? He didn't dwell on the emotion too long and simply walked towards the woman.

Before he could open his mouth, she grinned. Her eyes looked up, but not directly to him. She appeared to be blind. "You must be the demon Lady Rin was always talking about?"

Sesshomaru did not speak.

"I believe she is at her father's home, towards the edge of the village. You're in the right direction," she whispered softly.

Jaken stepped forward. "We know where she lives! What does she look like? There are many women in this filthy village and we don't know what she looks like!" he snapped.

The woman's smile did not fall. "You will know her when you see her. Her beauty is near impossible to describe."

Sesshomaru felt himself smirk. In the many years of her absence, he had always known she would grow up to attractive. For a mortal child, she was not that disgusting.

Jaken let out a snort. "Lord Sesshomaru does not find humans attractive! Right m'lord?"

Jaken looked up to his master, expecting him to agree. What he saw was far from disagreeing upon Sesshomaru's face...

**>**

Rin felt her heart leap.

Silver.

A waterfall of beautiful silver, running down his back.

She only saw him from behind, but that was enough to know for sure.

Inside, she knew all along that it were him. She knew, deep inside, that someday he would return.

'Why now?'

She did not have time to think of an answer, for as soon as it popped into her head, he turned and amber met soft brown eyes for the first time in ten years.

The only words spoken were from Rin...

"Lord Sesshomaru!"

**>**

A/n: There it is, chapter two. Well I really like the ending to this one, kind of a cliff hanger isn't it? Hee hee. Well I know that it isn't too lovey dovey like some of you like, but believe me, it will get there, 'kay? Because I too, am a hopeless romantic lol. Please review:P


	3. A Short Hello

**With Or Without You**

Disclaimer: Do I really need to say it?

**A/n: Omg, I'm so excited to have received so manyreviews for just two chapters! You guys are just so awesome, I can't thank ya'll enough! Well I got several reviews asking the chapters to be longer, so that is what I did. It isn't as long as I wanted it to be, but it is a lil longer than the other two, so I hope it's better! Enjoy!**

**Chapter Three**

**A Short Hello**

**>**

She stood completely still as her eyes found his unmistakable figure. From miles away, she'd have been able to recognize him. Her large brown eyes were locked upon him and nothing could make her look away from him.

Lord Sesshomaru, her Lord Sesshomaru had finally returned for her, just as he had promised her.

Deep down inside, she had always known...but she had begun to loose faith in his return after hearing rumors of his death.

However, with the way his eyes had ignited by just the mere sight of her, she knew he was very much alive.

His eyes had found hers just as she had found him.

He couldn't believe how much she had changed.

Though youth was still evident upon her fair face, a woman's figure stood before him. Dressed in a bright, pink kimono, the young Rin grinned brightly to him.

Her thick, waist length brunettemane swayed gently behind her as silence filtered throughout the village. Her small, delicate hands were clenched tightly at her sides as she stared nervously at him. She was the perfect portrait of a beautiful young woman.

"Rin," was all he said.

She closed her eyes and smiled as her name fell from his thin lips. Never had she loved her name more, than when he said it, especially at that moment.

The young girl felt tears stinging her eyes and she charged forward, her heart screaming to embrace her old guardian.

It was then that she remembered where and who she was.

She was no longer a child or orphan. She had a home now, and a place in the community.

She was also engaged to a very wealthy, respectable young man. If she were seen hugging another man, what would her fellow villagers think? What would they say? What would Roiyaru do if he heard?

So just inches before him, she came to a sudden stop and held back her body's urge to hold him.

Instead, she shyly looked up to him and smiled. "I didn't think you'd ever come back."

Jaken leaned forward, trying to hear her words. He noticed that not only he, but the entire village was curious as to what she would say.

Sesshomaru looked down upon her as he always had. Standing at barely five and a half feet, she looked so frail to him. More delicate than fragile...exactly how a woman should appear to him.

He frowned slightly as she continued to look away from him, twisting her hands together as she continued to cry. Why couldn't she look at him? Was it fear? Shame?

He didn't know. All he knew was that seconds prior, she had seemed ecstatic to see him and now...now she seemed afraid of him.

Why it bothered him so, to see her afraid of him, he did not know.

When it came to her and the emotions that she pulled from him, he was totally clueless.

For quite some time, when she was a child, he had been able to brush off her affections for him. She was simply a child then who needed a family, and he supposed that he had appeared as a father to her. He had almost laughed at the thought of being her father then.

However, she was grown now. Proper, adult women were not supposed to cry like this.

"Why are you crying?" he asked simply. His voice was shielding any emotion that could try and escape from him.

Rin looked up to him and slightly smiled. "Because...I'm happy to see you," she replied quietly.

Sesshomaru frowned. "Did you not think I would return for you?"

Rin shrugged slightly, her tears beginning to lessen. It appeared that he was not as happy to see her as she had thought. In fact, it almost seemed that he were annoyed with even coming here.

"I had a feeling you would...but I heard you were dead."

Sesshomaru somewhat frowned and turned to Jaken, who was staring breathlessly at the pretty young woman. Jaken finally noticed his master's stare upon him and jumped.

"Oh, what? M'lord dead? Are you a fool girl? Of course Lord Sesshomaru is alive! In fact, he's been much better since you were dropped off."

Sesshomaru glared at the small toad and Jaken stepped back behind his master's leg.

Sesshomaru turned back to Rin and noticed that pain was quite evident upon her lovely face. Her doe eyes turned to him and he saw a world of hurt.

Before he could speak, she placed a grin upon her lips. "Well, I'm glad to see you too Master Jaken." She laughed brightly, squatting before Sesshomaru's legs.

Jaken peaked out from behind Sesshomaru legs and glared. Rin ignored his bitter stare as always and lurched forward to hug him. "Don't touch me, Rin! Get away!" he cried out, running to the other side of Sesshomaru.

The youkai stared down at the two with little amusement...though it did remind him of the times before.

"Lady Rin!" came a woman's cry.

Rin stopped chasing Jaken and looked up to find her young servant still chasing after her. "M'lady, please! Stay away from them!" she cried out, her eyes large with fear.

Rin stood up and shook her head. "Tokiko, these are my friends! They won't hurt you."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that," muttered Sesshomaru, causing the nearest villagers to step back further.

Rin turned to him and frowned. "Please don't. These people have been very kind to me."

Sesshomaru stared at her intently, wondering how she could control him like this. For now, he would obey her, but only until he saw the slightest sign that these people were unworthy of his time. One slip up, and the village would be nothing but ashes.

Jaken stepped beside Sesshomaru and looked up to him, annoyance was apparent upon his face. "M'lord, shouldn't we be leaving now?"

Rin looked away from Jaken and turned to Sesshomaru.

The tall youkai stared at her a moment before turning to Jaken. "Yes."

Rin bit her lower lip nervously. She hadn't waited ten years just to see him for a few moments.

"Lord Sesshomaru," she whispered.

He turned away from her and headed back the way he came. Jaken had to jog to catch up with his unusually quick stride. Rin felt tears stinging her eyes once again.

She knew how he was. When she was younger, he would leave without explanation for days at a time. His only orders would be to behave and for Jaken to watch over her.

When he had abandoned her here, he had not explained why. He had onlytold her to go to the elderly woman and not to look back. She was to stay there until he returned for her.

She had waited long enough. She had been patient and she had never ventured out of the village's borders. Even when Roiyaru asked her to come and see her future home, she had declined the offer. She had told him of her promise to Sesshomaru, and though her fiancee was quite annoyed, he had simply smiled and nodded. "A promise is a promise, I suppose," had been his words.

However, at the moment, Roiyaru was not on her mind. The elegant demon before her was.

In a quick decision, she took off after him once again. Her hand reached out and grabbed his sleeve. When he felt the resistance, he stopped immediately, causing Jaken to bumped into his leg. "Oh! Excuse me, m'lord!" he exclaimed.

Sesshomaru shut his eyes as he felt himself fight for a sudden control. He did not wish to leave so suddenly, but she appeared to be quite content with her new life. Who was he to disrupt that? Besides, he had done what he had come here for.

"Lord Sesshomaru," she whispered.

She sounded so small, so weak.

All humans sounded like that to him, but when she did, he felt the sudden urge to protect her as he had years ago.

"Please, stay...just for supper."

She whispered the words so very softly.

They were meant for him and only him. She did not wish the rest of the village to hear her conversation with him, though they found it their business to stand around. She could not loose him again so soon. She had just finally found him once again...actually he had found her.

"Rin, Lord Sesshomaru has other, more important issues to deal with than sitting down and eating a meal with you worthless mortals. We must return to the Western Lands. Now let him go!" Jaken snapped.

Rin looked away from the grumpy toad and turned to Sesshomaru.

Her hand gripped the silky fabric tightly, never wanting to release him.

'If he wishes to leave so bad, I must let him go.'

With a defeated sigh, she dropped her hand to her side. She took a deep breath and tried to make her voice sound happy and cheerful. She didn't want him to think that she needed him that much. She didn't want to sound desperate to him. He obviously didn't need anyone.

"Well it was nice...nice to see you again. Thank you for checking in on me." Her voice cracked, but she continued to smile.

She looked down fondly upon him. "You too, Master Jaken."

She gave Sesshomaru one final glance before she turned back to find Tokiko and her mother, standing beside one another.

Lady Adzumi's eyes were locked upon Sesshomaru's figure. Never had she seen such a man as he. She had heard of his reputation though, from both travelers and Rin.

She turned as the teary eyed girl approached her. She placed a smile on and bowed slightly before her mother.

"I'm sorry that I didn't come to you. I had to say hello...and goodbye to a good friend."

Lady Adzumi grinned kindly to the beautiful woman. "It's quite alright, Rin." She patted Rin on the shoulder and turned back to Sesshomaru. He was walking on, the green creature following a few steps behind.

"Rin, did you ask if they would like to stay for supper?"

Rin nodded. "Yes...but they are very important people and I guess that they didn't have enough time."

**>**

Jaken stared at his master with bewilderment.

High atop the hills that surrounded the small village, he and his lord lingered hours after seeing Rin.

The evening's breezes were slow and drifting, barely strong enough to be called even a breeze. The only source of light other than the brilliant new moon above was the fires from the village, which causedsmall wisps of smoke to filter out from inside the humans' homes.

'Why are we still here? We should be half way to the Western Lands by now...what is he thinking?'

Jaken continued to study Sesshomaru as the silver haired demon looked down at the village. They had left the village nearly four hours ago. Jaken had been chatting happily about returning when suddenly, Sesshomaru stopped and told him to be quiet.

Jaken had obeyed and was still as they sat in pure silence. There were occasional sounds from below, but other than that, Sesshomaru sat quieter than ever.

His thoughts were twisting and pulling at him. Never had he had such conflicting emotions before. Usually he could make up his mind and stick with it. He never looked back after deciding, yet this was different.

He could still hear her small plea for him to stay. It was not for him and Jaken...it was solely for him.

'She looked like my idiot brother's mate,' he noted.

Though she and Kagome were similar in both spirit and appearance, Rin seemed different.

The old woman had not lied, when she had described Rin's beauty. Large, brown eyes that held every human emotion were what first caught his attention.

She was also slim. What curves she did have were not too noticeable, but evident.

He had never really thought of what his 'type' was and now, as he thought of Rin, he realized that she seemed just what he would look for if he were to ever choose a mate.

Sesshomaru felt a frown pass over his face.

Why was he suddenly thinking of choosing a mate? Were he to ever even consider having a mate it would be only to have a child to leave his possessions to. However, he was in his prime and did not see any reason for having a child, nor a mate.

Especially with a human.

'They would be just like my half-wit brother, useless and weak.'

Sesshomaru let out a long sigh, startling Jaken.

"Yes m'lord?"

Sesshomaru glanced to him and said nothing.

Though if he were to see her again, and it would be very unlike him, he did wish to see if she were alright. He had not taken the time to see where she was living now.

If he didn't check in on her one final time, he'd never let it rest.

'She is a weakness...a human not worth a moment of my time.'

He could feel anger bubbling within him. He wanted to blame Rin for ever coming into his life. He was becoming soft since his biggest threats were suddenly gone.

Naraku had been defeated and his idiot half-brother had disappeared completely after Naraku's death. His commrades would not tell him where he was and soon, Sesshomaru grew bored with looking for him. Now the only things that ever caused him any trouble were naturally, humans.

Sesshomaru's frown continued to deepen as he continued to argue with himself. He hated this. He absolutely, without a doubt, hated this. He was Sesshomaru, Lord of the Western Lands. He was known all across Japan for his vicious attitude and aristocratic stature, and yet here he sat, staring at a small village, wondering whether or not he should go check on a young, weak, pathetic female.

'Father, you have cursed us...both Inuyasha and myself.'

He let out another sigh, yet this time Jaken did not jump up to find out what was the matter. Instead, the bored demon simply glanced over his shoulder to his master.

Sesshomaru glared at the village. If there were anywhere on earth that he could despise, it would be that small place right now.

"Jaken," he finally called.

The small demon jumped up and raced over to him. "Yes Lord Sesshomaru?"

Sesshomaru glanced away from the village and look to Jaken. "Stay here. Do not leave until I return for you."

Jaken nodded, clutching his staff to his chest. He licked his lips nervously and cleared his throat.

"My lord, you aren't going back for the girl are you? She was clearly fine when we saw her!"

Sesshomaru looked down on Jaken and sneered. "In all this time, Jaken, you have not learned when to be quiet. You are denser than you lead on."

Jaken pouted slightly, watching Sesshomaru walk back down the hill.

"I am not as dumb as you think, m'lord. I know what's happening to you and thoughI do not wish to believe it, I know what mortal women can do to men...demon and human alike," Jaken whispered to himself.

Both jealousy and pity were filtering through the small demon's body. With a final sigh, he watched his master walk into another world...

**>**

**A/n: Well I hope this satisfied a few with it's length. Believe me, the next chapter will be longer than this. I think this chapter may have dragged a bit...I don't know, ya'll lemme know. I just didn't realize how hard it is to keep Fluffy in character, and still make him actually interested in someone...oh boy. Well, thanks again for all the feedback guys! The next chapter is coming soon, I've already got half of it planned out! And I promise it will be longer than this chapter. See ya!**


	4. Rin's Guilty Denial

**With Or Without You**

**A/n: Hi guys! Once again I'm so happy to have recieved so many reviews, you guys are so great! Well, it took me a bit to get this chapter right, but I'm really happy with it. I hope ya'll like it! And just a few words I'd like to say a few reviewers...**

**Kalana Fox**: Yes, your senses are correct but I don't believe a lemon will happen any time too soon. :P

**Cassie1**: I'm glad you're not 'just being nice'. I'm glad that I could make you so happy with this story!

**Nilee**: Thank you. I'm not sure, it's gonna be tough!

**Yellowtaffeta**: Wow, thanks for such a flattering review! I'm glad you're pleased with this story. Your review made me break out into a big smile! Thanks again for such a nice review!

**Rosesbleedto**: Thank you! Yes, I do believe his lil sibling may have to make an appearance. With children or not, I'm still not sure. But we'll just have to wait and see :Accepts gold star with big smile and pins it to T-shirt, beaming: Thank you!

**Karite**: You are very welcome m'dear. This one's even longer!

**esmeralda**: I'm so sorry you get bored that easily. I hope this update was quick enough so that I didn't loose your interest. :(

**Chapter Four**

**Rin's Guilty Denial**

**>**

As silently as possible, Rin stepped out of the humid heat of her home and walked out into the warm, fresh air. The evening's gentle breezes were barely pushing against her, easily coaxing her further into the darkness of the garden. Yet the stars, sparkling childishly above her, drew her attention first.

She stared at the sky as she often did when thinking of a particular youkai.

She let out a small sigh and stepped down onto the small path that lead to Lady Adzumi's private garden.

Her bright eyes fell upon the small stone bench which lay in the middle of the garden. Completely hidden from the outside world, only those who ventured into the garden could find her.

She was alone, completely alone...as always.

Tonight though, she had been searching for this solitude.

Throughout dinner, the lord's other daughters had bombarded Rin with dozens of questions.

Who was he? How old was he? Was he married? Did he have any children? Was he powerful? What was that green thing following him?

Rin felt a bit of anger wash over her. Though at first, their comments were innocent, as the night continued on, the spoiled daughters began to say rather unladylike things about Sesshomaru.

She felt her fists clench upon her lap.

Sesshomaru had always been her secret. No one knew who he was, or what he looked like. They only knew what Rin and travelers told them. Now that they had seen them, Rin almost felt as if someone had told the world her deepest, darkest secret.

She released her fists and let out another sigh.

She shouldn't be feeling this way. She was engaged to another man. Another man that she adored so very much. He was handsome, rich, powerful.

'So is Lord Sesshomaru.'

Rin frowned as her internal voice argued with her logics.

Ten years had seemed to drag on for forever, as day by day, she sat in this quaint village. She had always kept that silent faith that he would return. No matter how bad a day was, no matter how sad or lonely she felt, she knew that some where out there, her lord was thinking of her. Perhaps planning his return for her.

He promised he would.

'You broke your promise, m'lord. You did not return for me.'

She felt her lips quiver with sadness and she bit back her tears as reality began to settle in.

She was stuck here for forever. She was stuck, being married away to a man she had only known a few months. Her life was now predictable and easy. When she had agreed to marry Roiyaru, she did feel strongly towards him, but in the back of her mind, she had always thought that she would be rescued. Now with her wedding only a month away...no one was here to save her and she was now trapped.

She was to live the life that she had always pitied. She did not dread becoming a wife, but becoming wife to a boring, weak man. She wanted adventure and excitement in her life. Marrying Roiyaru nearly guaranteed no troubles for the rest of her life. There would be no evil demons to be defended from. She was safe and secure and she couldn't have been more upset with the idea.

Would Roiyaru defend her with his life? She found that she was unable to answer.

Rin settled down upon the grass and leaned against the stone seat, her free hand playing at the smooth grass beneath her.

She wondered what Sesshomaru would have done had he found out of her engagement. Would he be angry? Would he scold her? Or would he simply turn and leave, as he had done today?

'It doesn't matter now...he's gone.'

Rin remembered when she traveled with her lord. Time had stood still for them. She never worried about her education, nor her family.

She was with Lord Sesshomaru and Master Jaken. Who needed a family when one was with protectors such as them?

It had been her happiest time.

Now she was more miserable than ever.

'Perhaps,' she thought, 'I would have been happier not seeing him ever again.'

She shook her head at the thought. With seeing him now, she had proof that he still lived and thrived. He looked just as he did and she realized that to a demon, time _did _stand still. He still looked twenty. Tall, handsome, mysterious...

Now the age difference was not scandalous.

Rin frowned at that thought.

As a child, she had always looked at him as a father, a guardian.

Why was it now, she felt jealousy when the other women spoke of him? A daughter would not feel this way. Why did she feel betrayed by his sudden leave? As a daughter, she should be respectful and understand that he had bigger worries than simply checking in on a pesky child.

She could still remember the way her heart had thundered in her chest as she heard of his arrival. Though a daughter would be happy to have her father return...her reaction was much more like a wife's when a husband returns from war.

Rin felt her stomach clench and she almost felt that she may be sick.

Dread and fear fell upon her and she felt tears beginning to well within her eyes. These were not emotions a bride should be feeling towards anyone but her husband...was it lo...

No, she would not allow herself to even consider the possibility of feeling such an emotion as that four lettered one. She would permit herself to feel hate before she wanted to admit that she felt that way for him and not as a child or daughter.

Rin let out a small cry and buried her face in her hands as she continued to feel that familiar guilt flow through her.

**>**

This time, as he entered the village, has was undetected. No one was outside and if they were, he was far too quiet for them to notice.

His golden eyes were easily gliding over the village as he tried to catch her scent.

He cringed slightly as other odors, such as animals, humans and other unhealthy scents, hit his senses.

He decided to not try again until he were closer to where he saw her and headed on into the village. From various directions, he could hear boisterous laughter and shrill voices of women. Lights were glowing from within nearly every home, but none ventured outside.

Sesshomaru was thankful for the privacy.

He had not enjoyed the public viewing earlier. He and Rin had been on a stage for these pathetic weaklings and he had wanted to shred each and every one for simply staring at her.

Jealousy tweaked his insides and he fought himself to kick it aside.

As he had walked away from Jaken, he had nearly stopped half a dozen times to turn around and continue on back to his home. However, something much stronger than his pride was pulling at him at the moment and he tried his hardest not to guess what it was.

With a sudden jerk he turned just as a drunken man, being held up by a younger one, came stumbling out into the village's main street.

Sesshomaru did not run to hide, but simply stared at them with a rather snotty sneer upon his face. The two did not even notice him and continued to babble on, slurring nearly every other word together.

'Humans.'

He growled to himself quietly, before heading on.

As he crept deeper and deeper into the village, he could begin to smell the scent of lavender...honeysuckle. As quickly as it reached him though, it drifted away on the evening's breeze.

He continued on and continuously, her scent would rise up and meet him once again. It almost felt as if it were teasing him. Letting him dwell within its heady scent for only a moment or two before it would drift away.

Sesshomaru's eyes fell upon the lord's home. It was easy to find because of its large size. No one was around, though music and laughter could be heard from within. Sesshomaru wondered what kind of man this lord was.

Before he could dwell upon it any longer, he caught her flowery scent once again. He dreaded the thought of entering her home. He would be surrounded by those nosey, fowl smelling creatures and they'd all demand to know what he wanted and why he needed to speak with her.

He almost decided to simply destroy them all, so that no questions would be asked and no one would interrupt him.

And then that familiar, bitter scent of salt caught his attention. He turned his head towards to the back of the estate and headed that way. It was the same direction that the scent of lavender and honeysuckle were coming from.

That bitter scent reminded him of ten years ago, when he said goodbye to her. She had been so obedient. With eyes so large and naive, she listened to him and nodded without question. She went on without fear, into the village. She never looked back, just as he had instructed.

Sesshomaru wasn't surprised to see the hidden garden. It explained why she smelt of flowers. He crept from the back into it, following the flowers to the center, where the soft whimpers of a woman could be heard.

It didn't take a genius to know who was hidden within the flowers and walls of bamboo.

**>**

Rin felt her shoulders tremble as the tears continued to flow.

She hated this more than anything. She did not want to feel this. Though it was an emotion often celebrated, an emotion some would forever crave, she wished to push it aside and forget that it had even crossed her mind.

She wished that she was not that smart and that she had just stayed confused as to why she felt so drawn to that tall youkai.

"Lord Sesshomaru," she whispered.

Saying his name brought some comfort to her. It almost felt like a bit of that emotion was eased out just a bit.

**>**

'My name.'

As she cried, he knew it was over him. He wanted to feel that sadistic happiness that he did when others cried out because of him. However, he was disturbed by her tears. He did not like to be called out for when she seemed to be in so much pain.

'Get a hold of yourself. She's a human female. Either they're laughing like jackals or blubbering like infants. She's no different than the others. You simply know her, that's all.'

Sesshomaru felt his pride resurfacing. He was Lord Sesshomaru of the Western Lands and he was wasting his time on her. If she were that hurt by him simply leaving, then she wasn't worth the effort.

Yet his name had sounded so soft and gentle coming from her lips. As others called out his name, it had always been in fear and pain. When it left her lips, it was in a tone unknown to him.

The aromas of the sweet flowers were swarming him, yet her bodily scent still stood out faintly amongst them. It was calling him, pulling at his senses. Inside, something within him was beginning to overcome him.

Trying his hardest not to rationalize, he stepped out of the shadows and studied her from behind.

Her long mane was shinier than ever. As a child it had often been unkept and tangled, yet always full and thick. Now she was a woman and he could tell she had begun to care about her appearance, for her long hair was healthy and appeared to so very soft.

Rin rose up suddenly and stood before him, still unaware of his presence. It did not surprise him though, he had trained himself to be completely silent for fighting purposes. Never did he expect that his silence would come in handy in the matter of mortal women.

She wiped away her tears daintily with the sleeves of her pretty kimono and took a steadying breath.

If she were to return inside, red eyed and puffy, not one person would ignore it.

She readied herself to place on that happy, cheerful mask she had been so easily wearing for the past ten years. Now it would become her usual countenance. Hopefully the planning of her wedding would keep her occupied.

With that reminder, she felt tears burning once again.

'No...that's enough,' she scolded herself.

She took one more breath before she headed inside. Her steps were slow and unsteady, as she tried to regain control of herself.

"Rin."

The voice was liquidly smooth, rushing over her senses and making her heart race once more. She felt her eyes drift closed.

It wasn't possible.

It couldn't be.

Her lord rarely ever changed his mind.

Afraid to wake herself from this bittersweet dream, she turned to meet eyes that caught the moonlight and flickered with an animalistic glow.

"You came back," she gasped.

Her eyes searched his. His face was opening to her. His eyes were showing turmoil and conflict. He was fighting something back and Rin could feel herself being pulled towards him.

Sesshomaru noticed how she studied him so very carefully. She was reading into his soul and as quickly as he had allowed her in, he simply blinked and the vault door slammed shut.

Rin let out a small gasp, but remained speechless.

"Jaken insisted that I return and speak with you," Sesshomaru lied.

Rin did not catch the fib and nodded slowly.

'So Master Jaken was worrying about me...not you.'

"Master Jaken was concerned about me?" she asked quite brightly.

Sesshomaru did not reply. He simply stared at her, wondering how on earth she could hide herself so easily. Moments later she had been crying her eyes out, whispering his name into the night. Now she was smiling and speaking ever so happily to him.

Rin walked over to the stone bench and sat down. "Well, that's kind of him."

Sesshomaru turned to her, noticing the faint sound of disappointment in her voice.

She looked up to him and smiled briefly. "Well you can tell him that I'm happy here. I...I have almost everything I want. I don't ask for much, but they insist, especially Lady Adzumi, that I take everything." She giggled quietly. "It's a little silly, really. They shouldn't spoil me so, but they do."

Sesshomaru nodded, noticing how eloquently she spoke now.

"So you are content with living here?" he asked quietly.

Rin glanced up. "Um...well, it is a very nice village, but I do miss the woods and the meadows where you used to take us. I haven't left this place in ten years, so I really don't know what's going on out there."

She paused a moment. She wished that she could read him as easily as Jaken seemed to do.

He remained silent.

"Do you wish to meet the lord and his wife?"

Sesshomaru shot her a glare that made her burst into a fit of giggles. He looked as if she had asked him to go kiss Jaken.

Sesshomaru wondered why her laughter caused him such comfort. It was nice, he supposed, to hear happiness every now and then.

As her short spurt of laughter quickly died away, she looked up to him and smiled.

"I'm...I'm glad you came back, Lord Sesshomaru."

His forever blank expression remained present, though inside he was glad to hear his return wasn't in vain.

Rin stood up once again and began to fiddle with her red obi. "How is your brother?"

Sesshomaru looked away from her and replied, "I have not heard from him since Naraku was defeated. The worthless mutt has gone off somewhere with that _mortal _girl."

Rin nodded. She then bit her lower lip, trying to grant herself courage.

"Are all mortals that bad, m'lord?"

Sesshomaru turned to her and slightly frowned. Where was she going with this question? Did she wish him to say that she were an exception? Because he wouldn't say it, he couldn't...even if it were very true.

"Humans are weak, worthless beings that simply take up valuable space. They're life spans are far too short to make a difference in this world, so why even bother with them?"

Rin did not become offended from this comment, for she was far too used to his feelings about humans. She had always known that she was an exception, she did not need him to say it...though it would be nice to hear.

"M'lady!" came a voice from inside.

Rin looked to Sesshomaru and the two passed knowing glances. He simply stepped back into the shadows, though he would much rather rip off the servant's head with one easy swipe.

"M'lady!" came the young girl again.

"In the garden!" called out Rin.

She looked over her shoulder to Sesshomaru as he watched her carefully.

The servant named Tokiko pranced up to Rin and quickly bowed. "M'lady, I'm sorry to disturb you, but there is a messenger from Lord Roiyaru."

Rin felt all the color drain from her face.

"Roi...Roiyaru?" she asked quietly.

Sesshomaru frowned, his eyes keenly watching her every move. Something was wrong.

"Yes m'lady, he wishes to see you tomorrow."

Rin looked to her hands a moment, so very afraid to look at the shadows.

"Give the messenger some rest, Tokiko. I'll come speak with him in a few minutes."

Tokiko nodded. As Sesshomaru was about to step out of the shadows, the irritating girl turned to Rin and whispered softly, "Is something troubling you, m'lady?"

Rin smiled gently. "No Tokiko. I'm fine."

The young girl nodded, concern still evident upon her face. She gave Rin one last look before rushing back inside.

Rin let out a small sigh, refusing to look at Sesshomaru.

The youkai stepped back into the moon's low lighting and cocked an ebony brow in question.

"Who is this Roiyaru?" he asked cooly, despite how anger was beginning to burn within him.

Rin sniffled slightly as she felt him standing ever so closely to her.

"I meant to tell you sooner, but you left so quickly," she muttered.

Sesshomaru frowned. Tell him what sooner?

Rin's lower lip quivered as her tears began to fall once again. This time she let them fall freely. She felt so very guilty, as if she had betrayed him. Something inside was screaming that she had while another part argued, that it was he who had betrayed her by never returning.

'But he has returned. He's here, with me now.'

"Rin," he whispered.

He watched as she shivered. Whether the shiver was good or not, he did not know.

She bit her lower lip as her name rang from him. It sounded so beautiful. No one ever said her name the way he did. Without even trying, he had her attention by just whispering her name.

"It's just that with ten years...you begin to think that maybe people have forgotten and I don't know why I said yes, but I did," she continued to mutter.

Sesshomaru was growing impatient.

Grabbing her shoulder, he touched her for the first time in a decade. Without even thinking it, he turned her around so that she face him, only an arm's length away.

It was his turn to study her eyes. It was his turn to search her eyes for an emotion, for an answer.

"Who is he, Rin?" he demanded, his tone stern and low.

The beauty hiccuped and gulped.

"Who is he?" he repeated again, now frowning.

He noticed the tears rolling down her flushed cheeks, the way her lips were parted slightly as she breathed heavily. She was so very irresistible and only his pride held him back from expressing himself.

'It takes another man for him to touch me?' she snipped silently.

She looked up from beneath her bangs and cowered. "He's," she sniffled again, "he's...Roiyaru is my fiancee."

**>**

**A/n: Well, yet again, another cliffy! Ha ha ha, I'm so sorry, I know a few of ya'll hate them, but doesn't that make you wanna come back and see what happens? Of course it does, lol.Well I hope that you guys liked this chapter. I really did. I know that Fluffy is still kind of icy towards her, but it's gonna take time for us to bust through to him. Review please, I know ya'll will b/c you guys are just so totally awesome! Lol, boy I'm in a good mood! See ya!**


	5. Un Papillon sur ton Epaule

**With Or Without You**

**A/n:sobbing terribly: Please, please, please forgive me for taking so long to update! I had writer's block for forever and I just couldn't get this chapter right, so please don't be angry! I'm truly, honestly sorry. If you wish to yell at me, then you may...I understand...:'( In the next chapter I'll answer any questions ya'll may have for me, okay? Sorry!**

**Chapter Five**

**Un Papillon sur ton Epaule**

**>**

Fiancee.

She was engaged.

He took a step back, releasing her just as quickly as he had held her. He noticed her small whimper at the loss of his touch, but she said nothing. She continued to cry and he couldn't help, but wonder why she appeared to be so guilty.

Inside, he felt a quick snarl of betrayal, but as quickly as any other emotion entered his heart, he pushed it away.

"Your fiancee?" was all he could whisper, more to himself than to her.

She nodded silently, closing her eyes tightly. Her hands were clasped tightly at her sides as she felt like a child once again, standing before an angry parent.

'He's not your father...and you are not a child,' she told herself.

Sesshomaru continued to stare at her as the winds around them picked up. He watched as her raven mane swirled about her, the way her kimono's skirt barely lifted under the night's gentle breeze.

Even in tears, she was a beauty to behold.

Behind her the sounds of her family were breaking through the silence around them. The high pitched laughter of the lord's daughters was accenting the night and the soft sounds of music rang out from the mansion.

She closed her eyes to block them out.

"I...I should have told you sooner, but I didn't," she whispered softly.

She looked up into his eyes and she noticed with dismay, that though a flicker of humanity had been shown to her, it was now covered up. Once again, he stood before her, not as a man or equal, but as an aristocratic, superior being that she had always seen him as until minutes prior.

Sesshomaru slightly frowned. "It is not my decision as to who you wish to spend your life with, Rin," he finally said.

He paused a moment and his face seemed to harden. "You have no reason to apologize."

Rin frowned, unable to understand him the way Master Jaken did.

His eyes held hers for only a moment more, before he turned his back upon her, leaving her alone. Though he stood little over a foot away from her, she felt as if she had been isolated once again. With this simple movement, he had ended the conversation.

The way he had spoken to her, the way he had reacted, appeared as if he did not care at all. His tone had been so bitterly vile that Rin wished she had the courage to slap him and yell at him. To tell him that she had just realized only minutes before he had come to her, that she may be in love with him.

Though she still refused to admit that what she was feeling were in fact love, she knew the emotion, for some reason, was unwanted. She couldn't feel this way and by the way he reacted, she was beginning to hate the emotion even more.

Before she had told him of her engagement, she had felt that she were betraying him, that she had broken an unspoken promise to him. She couldn't understand it...but she did not want to, for he was more emotionless than before, so what was the point?

She now felt helpless, as if he were supposed to be rescuing her from some untold foe. She could not decipher what it was that she felt so much despair about, but now that he had turned his back upon her, she felt that she were once again, alone in this world.

"It's getting late. You should return to your party," he ordered sternly, only glancing to her from over his shoulder.

Rin nodded.

He was leaving again.

"Th-thank you for coming and seeing me, Lord Sesshomaru," she whispered.

Sesshomaru simply turned away and headed out of the garden.

Rin stared helplessly, her eyes following.

The least he could so was say goodbye.

"Lord Sesshomaru!" she called out, mustering up all her courage to call out to him.

He grit his teeth as she uttered his name.

'Just keep going,' he ordered.

He felt his stride growing more unsteady and unsure. He felt himself becoming angry with Rin. She was the reason why he was acting so weak, why he was still here in this pathetic village.

If he could simply distance himself from her, to get away from these new, troubling emotions...If he could get away from her for good, then this would soon pass and she would be nothing, but a mere memory that would soon fade into nothing as his seemingly never ending life continued on.

But did he truly wish to forget her?

He felt a sudden pull from somewhere inside of him to stop, but ignored it and continued on. He was now heading down the main path of the village and he had no intention of stopping nor, turning around.

"Lord Sesshomaru!" she called out once again.

Rin stopped at the exit of the garden and looked both ways, his silver hair caught the moonlight and she saw him.

Taking off in a run, she took as long of strides as her kimono would allow, her heart racing just as loudly as it had when she had first seen him hours ago.

And then she heard it.

A low, raspy growl that echoed from behind her. She stopped immediately, all too familiar with the sounds of an angry demon.

Rin felt goose bumps rise on her skin and the hair on the back of her neck rose. With as much bravery as she could muster, she turned to see a large spider demon hissing at her. Nearly thirty feet in height, it towered over her, showering her in complete darkness.

"L-Lord...Lord Sesshomaru!" she cried, just as she had years ago.

He stopped immediately and turned at the shrillness of her scream. She was in trouble and when his eyes found the spider he knew why.

He could smell the fear in her scent and though he knew Rin had seen much worse in her short lifetime, the giant youkai could easily crush her weak body.

From inside the mansion, amongst the music and laughter, Lady Adzumi could hear her daughter's cry. Jumping up, she ran outside, catching everyone's attention.

They all followed her and soon stood in a trance as the lord's most favored daughter stood only feet away from a gigantic creature. Ahead of the spider stood the mysterious youkai that visited their village only hours before. Not a single man moved to defend the girl.

"Rin!" cried out Lady Adzumi, as several of her daughters grabbed her arms to keep her from running out.

The young girl did not turn away from the creature as it continued to snarl and hiss. It reared back quickly, it's legs thrashing madly, baring its fangs upon her. Rin screamed out once again, unable to move from where she stood.

The memory of Naraku and his infamous familiarity with spiders was haunting her, bringing her to darker times.

Sesshomaru did not hesitate as she cried out for him once again and took off to only be, in the blink of an eye, in front of Rin.

The vile scent of the creature made him cringe, and though he knew it were not Naraku, he still felt uneasy with Rin so very close to the creature.

He pushed her back with his hand.

Rin gasped.

"Lord Sesshomaru!"

He looked at her over his shoulder once again. "Run Rin," he ordered cooly.

Just as he spoke the words, the spider lunged. Sesshomaru turned to Rin and pushed her back as hard as he could, out of the spider's way.

She flew back and landed against a fence post, hitting her head hard.

"Rin!" screamed Lady Adzumi.

Sesshomaru did not have time to run to her, for the demon lunged once again. This time, Sesshomaru retaliated and with a single swipe of his claws, the creature was nothing. Sesshomaru stared a moment longer, making sure the spider was dead.

"Pitiful excuse for a demon," he muttered.

He then turned to Rin.

She was not moving. She simply lay against the grass, her mouth slightly open.

'Rin,' he thought to himself, an odd panic coursing through him as it had not done in years.

'Not since you left her here,' quipped his inner voice.

He felt anger towards both the beast and himself. If she had only listened and moved, then she wouldn't have been hurt.

He walked towards her as Lady Adzumi ran and scooped her up. "Rin, darling please say something!" she cried.

Sesshomaru simply walked through the crowd as they stared helplessly at him. Some were muttering words of praise, others words of spite.

"He pushed her, did you see that? I knew he was no good!"

"But he was only defending her! I heard she was his daughter!"

"A demon hasn't been in our village in ten years. He shows up and so does a spider! Far too close to be a coincidence, if you ask me."

"He only wants the girl dead. He probably lured the demon here to distract us, while he ran off with her."

Sesshomaru ignored their remarks as he had done all his life and squat down before Rin and Lady Adzumi. The woman glanced up to him, mixed emotions filtering through her dark eyes.

"Is she dead?" she whispered sternly.

Sesshomaru took the girl and cradled her against his right arm, the scent of lavender and honeysuckle flooding his senses once again. If she were dead, he could easily bring her back. If she were injured though, he did not know if he could help her.

He could feel the steady beat of her heart and knew that she was not dead. "She's only unconscious," he told the woman.

Lady Adzumi clutched her chest. "Thank heavens," she whispered softly.

Rin could hear him.

She could hear her lord for he was so very close to her. She could feel his hand upon her. He was holding her like a child. She could feel his heart beat against her shoulder and she wanted nothing more than to curl closer to him.

She also felt a pain in the back of her head, but could not open her eyes.

"Lord...Lord Sesshomaru," she muttered.

Sesshomaru lifted her up so that he could hear her.

She had spoken his name...not the name of her fiancee, but his. She had cried out for him when she was in trouble, not for Roiyaru.

Sesshomaru felt himself feel proud to know that he were still the first on her mind. He didn't know why the feeling pleased him so, but as he stared down at her, he saw the color returning to her. She would awaken soon.

"Hikaru, take Rin to her bed," ordered Lady Adzumi.

Reluctantly, Sesshomaru released her and handed her over to a male servant. Sesshomaru did not turn to leave though, he followed the man into the mansion and on into Rin's bedroom.

"Mother, Father would disapprove of having a demon inside! He would not allow it!" protested one of the many ugly daughters.

Lady Adzumi held her hand up as she stared at Rin and Sesshomaru.

"Leave him be, Ami. He means us no harm. Can't you see?" she whispered.

Her daughter looked in and stared as Sesshomaru studied Rin. It did not appear to be a look that a guardian or father would give a daughter...no, he stared at her so gently, so fondly that it was a look that Ami had only seen Roiyaru give Rin.

It was a look only known between lovers.

Sesshomaru stared down at Rin. The moonlight fell down upon her through the open window. Her dark lashes lay against her fair cheeks as she continued to lie there, motionless.

As he heard the pesky family members leave, he glance over his shoulder to reassure they were gone. This was the last time he would see her, he supposed. After this he would return to the west and she would marry that mortal, Roiyaru.

She would grow old, perhaps have a few children. The man would grow fat and begin to chase other women as all mortal men did, while she would age gracefully alone. She would stay at home, day in and day out, tending to the children as a good wife should. She would be bored with this life.

It was not a life that Sesshomaru wanted her to have...but it appeared that it was the only possible thing for her. It wasn't like he could ask her to join him once again.

He frowned at the thought.

It wasn't that bad of an idea. She had traveled with him before and though she occasionally got herself into trouble, now that she were a woman she would be less of a problem.

His frown deepened.

Who was he kidding?

As a woman, she would be more of a problem. She was so very beautiful. Even Sesshomaru, as cold as he was, could admit that she was attractive for a human. And he knew that if he could see this, then any other demon could as well. Not to mention the mortal men who would wish to have her. As a child, no one really cared about her unless it were Naraku. And even then it were only to get at Sesshomaru.

No, as an adult she would be much more of a problem than she could have ever been as a child.

With a quiet sigh, he let the truth sink in.

Tonight would be his final goodbye to her.

Rin stirred slightly. She could feel her body waking up once again, slowly but surely, she could feel her toes, then her legs and it casually moved up.

She could hear her lord and she could feel his hot breath upon her as he let out a sigh. Never had she really heard him sigh before. He was always so stoic and blank.

Something within her told her that this was a moment that she needed to blind to. But how she wished to look upon his face as he opened it up to her! She wanted to thank him for saving her once again and she wanted to ask him to save her once again, from this inevitable fate she had gotten herself into.

She could feel the heat from his body radiating off him and she wondered how close he really was to her. And then, as if on cue, her eyes fluttered open.

Sesshomaru watched as she slowly turned to him, a soft smile gracing her lips.

"Lord Sesshomaru," she whispered. She tried to rise up, but Sesshomaru easily pushed her back down.

Rin winced as she felt the pain at the back of her head. She felt the sudden impulse to touch the spot, but resisted as those fiery gold eyes stared down upon her.

"Is everyone alright?" she asked.

Sesshomaru nodded. "Regretfully none of them were harmed."

Rin giggled gently as she noticed the small flicker of humor cross his expression.

And then, as it had earlier, silence fell between them.

Sesshomaru wondered if he'd miss her quiet laughter.

'It doesn't matter. In a few years she'll be nothing but a distant memory.'

With that thought, he rose up.

Rin's relaxed expression soon fell and she sat up, quietly whimpering as the pain shot through her.

"You're leaving again?" she muttered, staring at him with sad eyes.

Sesshomaru looked out the window to where he knew Jaken was waiting.

"I have no reason to stay," he replied coldly.

Rin felt her insides curling at the sight of his suddenly icy stare, but she did not allow him to see how much he affected her. If he wanted to act this way, she could be just as cold.

"Fine. Please tell Master Jaken I said goodbye." She paused a moment then added quietly, "I will miss him."

Sesshomaru stared at her as she refused to look at him. She simply stared at the floor and even as he moved out the doorway, she did not look up.

**>**

Sesshomaru walked outside into the fresh air of the night. He breathed in deeply, glancing to the sky as the soft hues of morning accented the horizon. It was nearly morning already. He had spent far too much time here.

"Lord Sesshomaru!" came a voice. It was not of Rin, but of the woman who she now called mother.

"Lord Sesshomaru, please wait!" she cried out.

He turned on his heel and glared down at the woman. She visibly flinched under his bitter stare. "Lord Sesshomaru, thank you for saving my daughter. I can tell that you are very fond of her," she stated calmly.

Sesshomaru quirked a brow at her. "Fond of her? Rin is nothing to me."

Lady Adzumi nodded, not believing him at all, and it was clearly written upon her face. "I see...well, I'm sure your little companion is fond of her. The little green toad?"

Sesshomaru glanced to the hills once again where the annoying reptile waited. He did not reply.

Lady Adzumi sighed, growing irritated with his stubborn pride. He was just as secretive as Rin. "Well tell him that the wedding is in four weeks, should he decide to attend."

Sesshomaru looked at her squarely in the eye. Was what she said directed at him?

Before he could consider it further, she gave him a knowing smile and bowed slightly. "Goodbye...Lord Sesshomaru."

Sesshomaru watched the woman walk back to her home. She was much wiser than she led on. As she entered the mansion gates, he turned away and headed back to the glossy hills.

**>**

"Oh what's taking so damn long!" cried out Jaken into the night. He threw down his beloved staff and sat down upon the grass with a loud 'hmph'.

He had been waiting patiently as he could and now that dawn was approaching, he felt that perhaps his lord was lost forever.

'A mortal woman captured your father's heart, m'lord. Be careful with what you're doing,' he begged silently.

For years he had been with his master and for years, Sesshomaru had never bothered with even the most beautiful of women. Why was Rin different?

Jaken was no fool, he knew what a beautiful woman was and Rin was most definitely beautiful, but why was she so different then the others? Why was she the first to capture his lord's attention?

Jaken had been surprised when he had seen Rin. She was so very pretty, in both appearance and spirit. Though he had always given her so much trouble, he did have a soft spot for the girl. Now though, she becoming a nuisance. They were supposed to only visit her then leave. What had made Lord Sesshomaru change his mind?

Just as he tried to answer himself, Jaken saw his master.

"Lord Sesshomaru!" he cried out.

Sesshomaru did not speak, but simply walked past him and on into the woods.

Jaken's eyes grew as he noticed that his lord was not in a good mood.

"Come Jaken!" he heard him growl out.

It only took the toad seconds to obey.

**>**

**A/n: Well there is it, chapter five. I'm still not 100 percent satisfied with this chapter, but I like it. In the next chappie, don't worry, it will be about Fluffy's internal reaction to all this new information, m'kay? And I know it took forever for me to update, and again, I'm really sorry. Also, school starts tomorrow, so if it takes me a week or so to update, I'm really sorry. School just simply sucks, what can I say? **

**Oh, BTW, the chapter title means something about a butterfly-dog in French, lol. It's just the title of a song I was listening to while I wrote this chapter and it looked purdy, so I decided to use it. If anyone would like to translate it for me, I'd be much obliged. :P See ya!**


	6. Hopeless

**With Or Without You**

**A/n: Well I knew it was going to take a week, and sure enough...it did. But I was so happy with the support that you guys gave me, you guys are just really great! So I give you all a big hug! Lol.**

**Karite**: Thank you so much for the translation. I'm glad you really like the story and believe me, if I need anything translated again, I'll ask ya! Thanks again :P

**Hawk Angel XD**: Yes I can join them...eventually. Lol :P

**Ryvengoddess**: Yes, he is stubborn and it's getting quite hard to keep him this way b/c I too, want him to just knock it off! Lol.

**Cassie1**: I'm still planning it as to how I'm going to get them back together, which we all know they will. Love your story too dear! Hope you update soon...:P

**MZk0rEA**: Yes I hate that he left her too...:(

**Inuyashaswife15**: Yep, school sucks big time, but oh well. Gotta do it I guess, lol.

**vimpire-dogdemongirl89**: Thanks for understanding bout the whole school thing. Good luck on Tuesday!

**drkangel.369**: Thanks, I'm glad you really like my story!

**Chranze**: Yeah, I'm still not sure what Fluffy's gonna do bout the whole wedding thing...I guess we'll both hafta wait n' see huh?

**rinsess4ever**: Umm, I don't really think it will be too much of a problem. I think it was just of a lil excuse for Sesshy's to hold lil Rin, hee hee.

**rosesbleedto**: Thanks for another gold star! I'm getting quite a collection:P

**Sailor Millenium**: Dang, you read my mind! One of the two is almost exactly what I was imagining! Lol, but it could change, you never know. Don't worry, I love suggestions so I won't get mad at you! Keep 'em coming:P

**Devon Masterson-Bond**: Me too :laughs evilly:

**esmeralda**: Thanks for the review and thanks for the good luck, I may need it...:P

**AznAnimeFanXP: **Oh good, I was a lil worried about it, but I think I may like it now.

**The Kaizerness**: Thanks, see I knew I read somewhere that it was a dog or something. I'm sorry I couldn't update within a week...well more like exactly a week from when I updated last. I hope to have the next chapter out before next Sunday!

**Chapter Six**

**Hopeless**

**>**

The spectacular sunrise ignited the gold of his eyes as he stared ahead. His lips were drawn downward in a frown as he glared at any tree, shrub or animal that may catch his attention. Behind him, the soft pants of Jaken could be heard, but because he was not the most merciful of men, Sesshomaru carried on as he stormed through the forest.

Above him, the sun was beginning to shine brilliantly between the trees as the woods awoke around him. The soft chill of night still lingered in the air, but the dawn's warmth hinted of high temperatures.

His golden gaze remained locked in front of him. He refused to look in any other direction. He did not wish to explain himself to Jaken, though he knew the small toad were curious as to why they had left so abruptly.

Sesshomaru could only think of one thing.

He had to distance himself as quickly as possibly from the Rin.

The soft scent of lavender and honeysuckle were still clinging to his clothing and he wanted to both rip them away from him and cling tightly to the scent.

'A few days and it will wear off,' he thought bitterly.

He heard Jaken stumble behind him on something, but he did not stop. He was far too troubled to worry about him.

Within his body, his heart...his mind, a war was raging. He felt that he were being pulled in a million different directions and it irritated him to no end. He was fed up with this. He never felt this much emotion unless he were in battle, and even then, he could easily conceal it.

And even though he wanted to erase any memory of the past few hours away, something within him continuously went back to them.

He felt his heart beat skip a beat at the thought of how stunning she looked when she cried. Her lips parted, hair astray with her eyes so full of emotion. It captivated him, the way she could show so much emotion just through those brown eyes.

She had been so troubled, so upset when he arrived last night. She had appeared to be the complete opposite compared to when she first saw him. She had been so happy when she had seen him.

Even with a pride and ego as thick as his, Sesshomaru had to admit that she was something amazing. Her spirit was so alive, so new. She was just blossoming into a woman and in a way, Sesshomaru wanted to help guide her.

Were it a parental instinct or something completely different, he didn't know.

He only knew that inside, he wished to see her again.

'I can't. She is just a distraction. Look what happened to Father.'

Mortal women were vile, poisonous beings that brought even the most powerful of men to their knees...but only if you allowed them. Though mortal men were power hungry, Sesshomaru believed it were women who fueled that desire. They stood in the shadows, whispering words of encouragement.

Were his half breed brother's mother's intentions that? Did she seek power as most beautiful women did?

Something told him, even if he didn't like to believe it, that she had not sought such a power.

Sesshomaru glanced to the skies above as the lambent orange hues descended into a bright yellow, melding into the darker blue shades. He felt something within him clinging to the village behind and still, his pride refused to allow himself to consider anything other than leaving.

There was business he needed to "tend" to in the west. He had land that needed constant defending from both humans and meager demons. Though it were rather boring, it did give him something to do, to keep his mind on.

"M'lord, can't we stop? Just for a bit?"

Sesshomaru turned to Jaken and glared. "Wasn't it you that suggested we leave for the Western Lands, Jaken?"

The small toad whimpered. "Yes m'lord."

Sesshomaru turned away from him and headed on.

It was then that Sesshomaru remembered why Rin had been crying so. She had not started crying until she had spoken of her fiancee. She had seemed afraid and hopeful all at once. Were she afraid of him, or of marriage? Were she hopeful of her future life, or hopeful that he would disapprove?

Sesshomaru knew that mortal women loved to be loved and that Rin should have been no exception, so why was she so terribly sad when she had told him.

She wasn't just simply sad. Tears were pouring down her cheeks and even before he had spoken with her in that secret garden, she was crying. Why?

His name had rang off of her lips like a soft chime and it had affected him in ways he'd never experienced. Females, demon and human alike, never spoke of him fondly. They were either screaming or whispering behind their hands about him.

Rin was the first to speak of him in a tone that caught his attention.

His eyes softened considerably and for once, he did not notice. Luckily, neither did the toad at his heels.

The soft scent of lavender and honeysuckle drifted back up to him as he remembered

And then he felt a bitter snare of jealousy course through him. He was not the only one who she spoke to in such a soft, gentle tone. There was another man in her life and this one was to soon be permanent.

He felt his bitterness for humans suddenly increase quite a bit.

He knew what husbands were, he was no fool to human customs.

He felt a sudden rush of heat flow over him as he realized what that pathetic fool would wish of her. She was a beautiful bride. For someone to let her beauty simply rot away, was an idiot.

Jealousy was not an emotion new to Sesshomaru, but this were the first time he were jealous over simply a woman.

'There is no sense in worrying about it now,' snapped his pride.

"I'm surprised Rin isn't married already," commented Jaken as his master began to slow.

Sesshomaru stopped all together and turned to Jaken with a frown. "What makes you say that?" he asked sternly, surprised by how Jaken could speak of what he were thinking.

Jaken shrugged. "Even if she is a pathetic mortal, she was quite attractive m'lord. I just thought at her age, she'd be married already...or even engaged."

Sesshomaru turned away from Jaken and headed on. The small toad thought nothing of it and carried on silently.

"She is engaged."

Jaken stopped in his tracks. "To whom? Is he old? Does he have money, power? Is he trustworthy? He's a human, isn't he" stammered the concerned reptile.

Sesshomaru frowned. "I don't know who he is. If you are so concerned, go find out for yourself."

Jaken flinched. "But m'lord...what if this man is not what she thinks he is? What if he is some middle aged farmer? Aren't you worried?"

Sesshomaru turned suddenly and glared down upon Jaken. "No."

Though his tone were calm and soft, Jaken had heard the bitterness behind it. In just a simple word, Jaken knew that his lord were very concerned. Why else would he have fled the village so quickly? Why else would he be so angry?

Jaken was no fool, though he did act the part rather well. He knew that something had been said or felt between the two and now it was tearing his master apart.

**>**

Nearly three hours ago, dawn had eased into day and now, afternoon was soon to be about them. Above her the clouds moved slowly by. Time was ticking away just as slowly, the day was descending into just another boring day. She could feel dread within her, for with the afternoon brought an unwanted guest.

It brought her fiancee.

In a few hours, he would arrive. Roiyaru had heard news of the attack and was, as Tokiko put it "most terribly concerned". Rin had simply rolled her eyes.

If he were so concerned, then why wasn't he here now? It was only a few hours walk away. He could have made it in barely two hours on horse back.

Rin let out a small sigh as she sat amongst the flowers of her mother's garden once more, idly tracing the rock's natural designs upon the stone bench. The back of her head still throbbed with a dull throb, but she had always been strong, and could easily ignore it.

The morning routine had started without delay about the mansion. The fields were tended to. The merchants were up and about, selling and trading anything they could. In the halls, the servants were rushing about, waking each and every daughter.

The world around her was carrying on as if last night were nothing. They seemed to see it as if the threat were gone now. Though there were the gossips who would not let it rest that Sesshomaru had only wished to steal Rin away and the spider demon was simply a distraction gone wrong.

Rin had not bothered to defend him.

'Let them think what they want. He's never coming back, so there's no point in clearing his name.'

Around her, the sweet, seducing scents of early summer swarmed about her. Each little breeze was welcome as they gave a nice break to the rising heat. The sun above glared down upon her and though it were extremely hot, it were by far, one of the most beautiful days Rin had seen in quite a while.

It reminded her of years ago, when Lord Sesshomaru would be kind enough to allow her to go gather flowers. She grinned softly at the sweet memories.

She could still feel the warm earth beneath her bare feet as she ran about the gently swaying fields of gold, blue and pink. Her eyes would dance from flower to flower as the aromas nearly knocked her off her feet.

Behind her, Jaken would be muttering angrily under his breath, though she knew he were thankful for the bit of rest. Aun-un would be next to him, sleeping softly.

Sesshomaru would be sitting underneath a tree, sometimes watching her, sometimes staring off into space.

He would rarely speak unless saying something to Jaken to shut him up.

She would then run up with the small load of the prettiest, most precious flowers she'd found and present them as a gift. Every time, Sesshomaru would look from her to the flowers for a moment as he considered whether or not to take them.

Usually he did.

Though there were the few occasions when he was either injured or angry with either Naraku or his brother, and he would ignore her completely. It didn't hurt her feelings though. As a child, she had been able to rebound from every little attack, both verbal and physical.

Now that she were seventeen, something within her seemed so much more sensitive than it had as a child.

She stood up and walked over to pick a flower gently from the several bushes. She brought the fully bloomed flower to her and inhaled its drunkenly sweet smell.

She could feel her eyes stinging as she was bombarded with memories of her and her lord, but she was done crying. He was probably half way to his land by now and she was probably the last thing on his mind.

If he had no remorse in leaving her here to a fate that she clearly did not want, then she would not miss him.

Placing the delicate blossom upon the bench, she headed back inside.

Inside, everyone was buzzing with the news that Roiyaru would soon arrive. Rin did not see what the panic was. Roiyaru had often come and seen her father before they were engaged.

Rin silently slipped into her room and prayed that no one had noticed her. She needed to rest before Roiyaru came or he'd been even more concerned about her tired appearance.

**>**

**A/n: Yes, I'm quite aware that this chapter was pretty short, but the next one is going to be back to its normal length, okay? I hope you guys liked this chapter...just like the last one, I'm still uneasy about this one, so ya'll lemme know whatcha think, okay? Also, the next chapter will be a lil less, um...thinking, lol. Stuff's actually gonna happen in the next one instead of just their thoughts, is what I mean. So until then, see ya :P**


	7. New Lives

**With Or Without You**

**A/n: Well, I wanted to get this freakin' chapter upbefore the week was over,but alas, school and cheerleading have prevented me from doing so. But it's finally done and I hope that you all like it. I know I say it in every chapter BUT...thank you guys for so many reviews and such support! You guys are the best!**

**Rvyengoddess**: Thank you for the continuous support and reviews! I made this chappie longer, so I hope you like it!

**mZk0rEA**: I know, I know! I don't want her to be w/ him either, so I think you might not like this chapter too much! I'm sorry!

**HawkAngel XD**: Well I'm not sure about the kidnaping, we'll just have to wait n' see, but stuff does happen in this chapter and most definitely in the next!

**Cassie1**:Well what's his face is definitely gonna do stuff in this chapter and in the next, so I hope you enjoy! Great fic, m'dear! Hope you update soon!

**hotaru4sesshoumaru4ever**: I'm glad you liked it and good luck w/ your own Sesshy/Rin fic!

**rosesbleedto**: Yes m'dear, they will be together...eventually. And yes, there will be a lemon much later on. And don't worry bout the fighting, it's coming. Thanks for the star too! ;P

**Karite**: Thanx for the review, this chappie is longer than the other, I think it's back to the other chapters' normal lengths...hopefully :P

**Inuyasha'swife15**: Well m'dear, awhile back, you asked for Inuyasha and you have received him! Thanks for the idea about him and thanks for the reviews!

**Chranze**: By stuff I mean, not just them thinking and all that introspectiveness, lol. I'm glad it intrigued you and as for the rating, yes, in time, there will a lemon.

**The Kaizeress**: I liked writing about Rin and picking the flowers too, I thought it was a nice lil touch, lol. Thanx for the review too!

**overlyobessive250**: I'm glad you like this story so much and I'm happy to know it's your favorite, that makes me smile! Lol I'm sorry to have disappointed you, but I think I may have made up for it by adding a few lil events to this chappie:P

**loyalsoul**: I'm glad you decided to read it too! Thanx for the reviews!

**Show-jumper**: I hope I don't let you down either! ;)

**SweetyPieRin**: Thanx m'dear, I hope you like this chapter too!

**Damian 2.5**: That's great that you love this story so much! Thanks for the review!

**Love ya 4 eva**: Thank you for the review, I hope you like this chapter!

**Okay:takes a deep breath: I think I covered everybody! Now onto the story!**

**Chapter Seven**

**New Lives**

**>**

She stood beside her mother as Roiyaru and his men approached. Soft breezes blew against her as she stared straight ahead, her expression solemn. Everyone excitedly awaited the handsome young man's arrival. Rin could feel something within her towards him as well, but it wasn't excitement.

She had slept most of the day away. It hadn't been until much later that Tokiko had awaken her, telling her to wash up and change as quickly as possible.

Now fresh from sleep and bathing, Rin could feel her heartbeat. It was slow and steady. Her palms were dry and her hands were still. She was unfazed, to say the least, by her fiancee's presence.

"Try to cheer up dear," whispered Lady Adzumi.

Rin nodded with a small grin. "I'm sorry."

The older woman shook her head. "No need to apologize, Rin."

Rin did not reply, but simply took a deep breath as her eyes met dark cobalt. They sparkled with a light that Rin had once mirrored with her own towards him.

He frowned slightly, stepping off of his horse as his joyous expression was not returned.

He walked up the steps quickly not taking his eyes away from hers until he stood before her mother. He then bowed respectively before her.

"It is wonderful to see you again, Lord Roiyaru," she greeted, bowing in return.

He grinned fondly to her. "And the same to you, Lady Adzumi. I see that Lord Kisho is still away?"

Lady Adzumi nodded with a sad smile. "Yes, I'm afraid my husband has run into a few delays while returning from the west."

Rin's eyes widened. 'The west?'

She turned to Lady Adzumi, but the woman did not take her eyes off of the young man.

'In the west? I thought he was in the northern lands! What kind of delays? What if he runs into Lord Sesshomaru?' she asked herself, panic coursing through her suddenly.

"Lady Rin," greeted Roiyaru. His eyes glittered lively behind his ebony bangs, a sort of gentleness about him that almost reminded her of one of Lord Sesshomaru's brother's comrades...he was a monk she believed.

Rin bowed slightly. "Lord Roiyaru. Did you travel well?"

He nodded with a smile. "Yes."

He turned to the others and Lady Adzumi turned to the crowd. "Let us go inside and let my future son-in-law and daughter speak privately."

Rin could hear her step-sisters groan and wave flirtatiously goodbye to him. Roiyaru simply blushed, turning away from them.

"How are you feeling, Rin?" he asked gently once the others were out of earshot.

He watched her soft smile and wondered why he felt as if something were hiding beneath it. She was hiding something from him, he could tell.

"I'm fine. I'm sure my mother exaggerated in her message," she replied shyly.

Roiyaru nodded, taking her hand in his. She followed silently as he led her to the garden. She felt her stomach churn. It had once been her secret place. A place where she could find solitude and hide away from the world.

She had made the mistake one of day of leading him here.

He entered her sanctuary and inhaled deeply. "It's beautiful. No wonder you hide her so much," he teased. Rin just smiled, standing at the entrance with her hands clasped in front of her.

"I heard that you had a visitor last night."

She looked up and nodded. "Yes."

Roiyaru turned away, his hands gliding softly over the numerous petals. "Who was he?"

Rin frowned, wondering if it were jealousy she heard in his tone.

"He was my old guardian," she replied shortly.

Roiyaru turned back to her, sitting upon the stone bench. "What did he want?" he asked quietly.

Rin shrugged, feeling slightly irritated with him. "He just came to check in on me."

Roiyaru nodded slowly.

He stared at her for quite some time, trying his hardest to read into her. Though he loved her, he knew so little of her. She kept so much from him. Never did she allow her emotions to run freely. She was always polite and kind, but never did she express how she truly felt.

"I heard that...that he was trying to kidnap you," he whispered.

Rin shook her head quickly, idly smoothing out her kimono. "No. Lord Sesshomaru would never kidnap me."

"I also heard that he left in the middle of the night, without warning."

Rin shook her head once again. "He said goodbye to me...he's gone for good. I won't ever see him again."

Roiyaru could hear the shakiness of her voice. He could see the sadness within her eyes as well.

When he had first approached the mansion, he had thought that she were simply in pain still, from her injury. He could now she that she was clearly upset with the sudden leave of her guardian.

Roiyaru rose up and walked to her. He stepped before her, making her eyes lock with his. "Don't be sad, Rin. You have our wedding to look forward to," he stated lightly, trying to cheer her up.

Rin smiled. "Yes. Four weeks now, isn't it?"

Roiyaru nodded, taking her hands in his. He lifted one, and examined it closely.

"So delicate," he whispered.

Rin blushed. Rarely did Roiyaru express his love for her. They were usually under the close watch of Lord Kisho. With him gone, no one was here to make sure that the two love struck teens kept their hormones in check.

Roiyaru dropped her hand and looked at her.

The sunlight was now beaming behind her, causing the natural highlights of her dark mane to stand out. Her beautiful skin was clear, free of any blemishes or scars and her cherry lips were small, but pouty, quite tempting to say the least. Her emotional eyes were cast downward, her thick, long lashes outlining them.

She was a rare beauty in these times and he knew that he would never find a woman as pretty as she.

He pulled her into a tight embrace and Rin squeaked in surprise. He was crushing her to him and should feel his strong heartbeat racing against hers.

"I was so worried about you, Rin," he whispered against her cheek, "I can't imagine ever losing you."

Rin simply stood there, her hands at her sides. 'You do care for me, don't you Roiyaru?' She frowned as her eyes began to sting. 'Why can't I care just as much for you?'

"You didn't loose me though. I'm right here, Roiyaru," she whispered.

He nodded, backing away slightly. "And I suppose I am thankful that your guardian was here to save you." He grinned, running a hand through her hair.

"I wish that I could have met him. He must have been a great man if he had such an impact on you."

'If only you knew,' she thought bitterly.

She simply nodded. "Yes, he has had an impact on me."

Roiyaru lifted her chin in his hands and Rin felt her pulse quicken for the first time since Sesshomaru had left. 'Why is he looking at me like that?'

"I know...I know that I've said it many times before, but you are quite beautiful."

Rin blushed brightly. "Th-thank you, m'lord."

Roiyaru sighed, yet his eyes still held that gentle kindness to them. "We are away from your family's eye, Rin. You have no need to be formal with me. I am your future husband. When you are my wife," he paused a moment.

Rin frowned, but did not interrupt.

"When you are my wife, you will never need to be so formal with me."

And with those words, he leaned forward.

Rin gasped as she felt his lips touch hers.

Never had anyone kissed her so.

His lips were warm against hers, but instead of exciting her, or making her heart sing, it made her heart clench with a familiar guilt.

"No," she whispered, pushing him away suddenly. She backed away a few steps, blushing furiously.

Roiyaru stared at her, blushing just as deeply as she was. His eyes were wide and embarrassment was written upon his handsome features.

"I'm sorry, Rin. I shouldn't have," but he did not finish, for Rin had turned away from him.

"Did I upset you, Rin?" he asked, walking to her.

She turned to him as he reached for her. "No...it is...it is just that-"

"Lady Rin! Supper is ready!" came Tokiko's voice.

Roiyaru turned back to Rin. "We had better go inside before they get any ideas."

Rin did not answer, but simply led the way back inside. She could feel her entire body shaking. From what? She really didn't know.

**>**

"Did you want some fish m'lord? It is quite tasty if I do say so myself!" offered Jaken happily.

Sesshomaru turned away, staring blankly at the glistening stream before them. Evening was settling upon him and his small comrade. The day's high temperatures were now cooling off and it had turned out to be quite a pleasant evening.

In a few days they would soon be back in his territory and he could busy himself with the many tasks that pathetic humans given him by simply trespassing. They were constantly trying to take over his land. They would try to settle upon it, grow fields of food and raise cattle. It was something he knew his father would hate to happen to his beautiful lands.

Sesshomaru thought often of his father, but it was one of his most private secrets and not even Jaken, who had been with him for so very long, knew of how much Sesshomaru respected his father.

And as easily as his father slipped into his thoughts, so did Rin.

How had his father reacted when he had realized that a mortal woman was affecting him? Had he been just as confused as Sesshomaru?

It was times like this that Sesshomaru wished for a confidant, someone to help answer his questions.

But he had been alone for so very long, excluding Jaken. It was not something that he wanted to pitied for, because he was not sadden about it. In fact, he did enjoy being alone.

"M'lord, did you hear that?"

Sesshomaru turned to Jaken, pulling himself from his deep thoughts.

Jaken's beady eyes were turned towards the other side of the river where the weeds had grown high. Sesshomaru stood up, walking towards the river's edge.

He sniffed the air and at first, it was faint.

Then as the winds picked up, he was definite.

Without a second thought, Sesshomaru leapt over the river. He took off in a quick sprint towards the source of the scent. It was a scent he knew far too well.

It was somewhat similar to his, but it was tainted with mortal blood. It was the scent of his half-brother.

It was Inuyasha.

**>**

"And then this gigantic spider came out of no where! It was snarling and growling and I swore that we were all going to die, didn't I, Saeko?"

One of the oldest daughters nodded to her twin.

"Yes, we thought we were all surely dead!" she added quickly.

"But then! Like an angel, came this man and he attacked it," continued Namiko, her round, chubby face identical to her sister's.

"Don't forget that he hit Rin!"

"What!" exclaimed Roiyaru turning suddenly to Rin.

Rin let out a heavy sigh. "He didn't hit me, Saeko. He pushed me out of the way. The youkai was about to attack me and he saved me."

Saeko rolled her eyes. "Whatever, anyways-"

"Anyways, that beautiful Sess...Sess...ooh, what was his name again, Rin?"

Rin stared at her a moment, her eyes narrowing viciously. "Sesshomaru. His name is Lord Sesshomaru."

Saeko nodded, glancing to her sister. "Ah yes, Sesshomaru. He comes out and in just a few swipes of his claws, kills the creature!"

Namiko grinned. "Yes and then he ran and scooped Rin into his arms, er, I mean arm."

Rin let out a small sigh and rose up, silencing her sisters. She had heard enough. "Excuse me for just a moment, m'lord, sisters...Mother," she whispered.

Lady Adzumi eyed her carefully, but Rin did not try to explain.

The two babbling sisters soon resumed their story, though Roiyaru did not hear much of anything. He watched as Rin quietly slipped away.

"Excuse me Lady Namiko, Saeko...I think I should go check on my fiancee."

The twins glared angrily in the direction that Rin had left and turned to their mother.

"It isn't proper for a man to go after a girl like that after dark. Father would never allow it!"

Lady Adzumi waved for a servant to clear away the dishes. She turned to two of her daughters with a serious frown set upon her lips.

"You two will hold your tongues from now on about that man who visited Rin last night. Your father will never know of it, understand?"

The two glanced to one another, but under their mother's steely gaze, reluctantly nodded in agreement.

Rin took in a deep breath as she stared into the lively, spacious skies above her. In the morning, Roiyaru would return to his village and she would be allowed to have some time to think.

Right now though, she was quite angry with her sisters.

How dare they speak of him in front of Roiyaru? They knew what buttons to push and though Rin rarely thought bitterly of her new family, she could not contain every emotion that passed through her.

She was already having to hold down this newfound feeling of love for Sesshomaru and he didn't even return the feeling.

"Rin?"

She groaned silently and turned to him. "Yes?"

Roiyaru fumbled with his hands a moment before he slowly approached her. "I must apologize for earlier...I didn't mean to offend you so. I know that...that we are supposed to wait until we are married to do anything like that, but you don't understand."

Rin frowned, walking closer to him to hear his soft voice. "What do you mean?"

Roiyaru looked up and for the first time that day, she actually appeared to be interested in what he had to say.

He took a steadying breath. If she were to be his wife, then he had to be honest with her.

"I feel so much for you Rin...and...everyday I must keep it under control," he explained slowly.

He looked up to her large brown eyes. They could pierce one's soul so easily, without remorse. 'Where did she learn to do that?' he asked himself. (If only he knew...;-P)

"It's hard to explain...but I wish I could. I wish I knew how to tell you without sounding like a fool...especially when, when..." he trailed off and Rin stepped even closer to him.

"I know how you feel Roiyaru, for I feel the same everyday."

He looked up from staring at his hands and looked into her eyes. "You do?"

Rin nodded, biting her lower lip nervously. "Yes."

Roiyaru hugged her to him once again, laughing. "Then why must he pretend so?"

Rin gulped back tears and shook her head, trying to make her voice sound steady and happy. "Because we must."

Roiyaru released her and took her cold hands in his.

"Then we'll run away, Rin! We don't have to stay here forever."

He laughed again. She knew that his laughter should bring a smile to her lips, that his touch should send electricity through her and though he were, without a doubt, handsome, she felt nothing when he touched her so. She felt nothing when he spoke so truthfully to her. How could she feel anything for him, when she felt everything for Sesshomaru?

"Oh it is such a relief to know that you feel as I do!" he laughed, his eyes so bright. "I would have never guessed that you felt so."

Rin smiled, shrugging. "I'm sorry I deceived you."

Roiyaru's smile, if possible, only grew wider. "Don't apologize! I don't care anymore because I know that you and I feel the same for one another, and that is all I need to know."

Rin felt the weight of the world pushing down upon her with her lies, but she could only smile and nod.

'This is my life now. My life is with you, Roiyaru. I can't play with the past anymore.'

**>**

Where had they gone?

Jaken had heard them and he had smelled both Inuyasha and his mate's scents. So where were they?

He was beginning to think that perhaps some other half-breed had come past this way and he had simply mistaken them for his brother.

'No, that was most definitely his repulsive scent.'

And then he heard her bright voice.

"Inuyasha! Stop it!"

It was his mate, she was laughing.

And there was another laugh.

It was that of a child.

No, children.

Sesshomaru stood behind a large oak tree and stared in disbelief at what his eyes saw.

'So this is what you've been doing while in hiding, dear brother?'

There she sat, upon the glossy green grasses. She seemed to not have aged a day. What had her name been?

Sesshomaru frowned.

"Shut up, Kagome," spouted his brother.

'Yes, Kagome...she looks like Rin.'

Sesshomaru's frown deepened at the thought, but he did not dwell upon it long.

In her arms, she held a child. The child's eyes were golden, like his father's and Sesshomaru's. However, the child had ebony hair, black as night.

Inuyasha was lying upon the grass and sitting upon his abdomen was another child. He had dark hair like his mother's and his eyes were a dark, deep chocolate brown.

Sesshomaru couldn't believe it! His dim-witted brother had actually had children...with a mortal...twice! Though Sesshomaru knew his brother had been infatuated with the girl, he had never thought that it would go this far.

The winds blew about him madly and he knew that his scent would soon carry itself to Inuyasha.

He didn't mind. He needed a challenge, someone who could keep up with him. And though he knew that while away with some female in hiding, he may weakened. However, he would still be much more entertaining than the vermin that now populated the land.

Sesshomaru cracked his knuckles as he saw his sibling sit up suddenly, holding the child to him. Golden eyes met and Sesshomaru stepped out of the shadows and into the evening sunlight.

**>**

**A/n: Ooh, I really, really liked this chapter! I know it may have seemed a bit rushed, or maybe I just saw it that way, but oh well, I liked it XD I can't wait to write the next chapter. I'm praying that I get it up sooner than these past two, maybe sometime like Thursday...hmm, we'll just hafta wait n' see. See ya!**


	8. A Glint of Mercy

**With Or Without You**

**A/n: Sorry it took so long guys, but I got back really late from Omaha last night and didn't have time to update until today. I swear, Nebraska is like the capital for the most museum! Every thirty minutes there was some exit for some museum, lol. Oh well, anyways, here's the chapter! Thanks for all the reviews guys, I'll comment on them in the next chapter:P**

**Chapter Eight**

**A Glint of Mercy**

**>**

It had been something like eight years since he had returned to his time and it had been far too long.

Open fields that were non existent in Tokyo were now open to him and the clean, fresh scents of nature were rushing around him. There were no car horns barking in the distance or crowds and crowds of annoying humans bustling about.

Here he didn't have to hide his ears any more and he could carry his Tetsusaiga without having some damn otaku asking him where he got it, or a police officer bothering him about weapons on the street.

The soft incoherent babbling of his ten month year old son accented the happy, rather brash voice of his other son.

He fell back against the soft grass, his older son tackling him. "Gotcha Dad!" he cackled triumphantly.

Inuyasha chuckled softly, catching the wriggling child effortlessly. His ebony bangs fell recklessly into his eyes and Inuyasha caught a trace of Kagome in the boy's expression. It soon fell away to his father's reckless grin, though.

His flawless, youthful skin glowed slightly in the evening's warm temperatures. He was a good looking boy and even if he were only four years old, Inuyasha knew the boy had strength far beyond any children of Kagome's time.

Just as the boy were about to get up, Inuyasha began tickling the child mercilessly. His high pitched laughter squeaked as he twisted and squirmed against his father's unrelenting fingers.

"Dad! Dad! Quit! Stop it!" he sputtered between outbursts of giggles.

It was now Inuyasha's turn to laugh triumphantly.

"Inuyasha! Stop it!" laughed Kagome gently.

Inuyasha glanced to his beautiful mate, her raven mane was pulled back loosely in a ponytail as it was almost all the time now. He supposed it were smarter, considering that the baby within her arms was fascinated with long hair and had to tug, twist and slobber all over it. Inuyasha knew this from personal experience.

He only wished that she would wear it down more often.

"Shut up, Kagome," he muttered idly as he stopped tickling the boy.

The boy continued to sit upon his father's stomach and turned to his mother. "When are we going to go eat? I'm hungry." He paused a moment as if considering his options then added, "How about McDonald's?"

Kagome and Inuyasha exchanged looks before she smiled brightly to the child, concealing a laugh.

"Natsu, tonight we're going to go eat with some old friends."

The boy frowned slightly, glancing to his younger brother before he looked back up to his father. He sniffed the air and frowned even deeper. Whoever that was coming from the woods smelled somewhat like his father...but different.

Just as his son noticed the scent, Inuyasha shot up, clutching the boy to his chest.

'Sesshomaru?'

The scent was strong and so very similar to his.

He looked at Natsu who was frowning. "Who is that, Dad?"

He turned and looked over his shoulder just as he saw his elder brother walking towards him, a smirk gracing his lips that promised trouble.

**>**

Sesshomaru had to conceal the excitement burning within him. He could hear Jaken finally catching up yards away, but he could careless. His eyes were set upon Inuyasha and the child in his arms. The boy was scowling just as deeply as his father and Sesshomaru had to admit that he was impressed.

He had never met a child with only 1/4 demon in them, but the child appeared to have that sixth sense that only demons possessed.

"You've finally decided to come out of hiding, Inuyasha?" he spat viciously, his eyes sparkling with mirth.

Kagome held her baby in her arms tightly. He was squirming and whimpering, pushing against her, but she didn't notice.

'I thought Sango said he was dead,' she thought to herself.

Sesshomaru glanced to her for a second before Inuyasha spoke.

"What do you want, Sesshomaru?" he asked sternly.

Sesshomaru lifted his head slightly, peering down at his brother in a very snobby manner. "Defensive already?" he questioned. He glanced to his brother's hip, where faithfully, Tetsusaiga remained, then he looked up to the boy in his arms.

"I suppose having mutts of your own will do that," he paused a moment then muttered, "They are only a weakness, Inuyasha. How many times must I tell you this?"

Inuyasha snarled. "So you still think I'm weak?"

Sesshomaru didn't reply, but glanced to Kagome instead. Her eyes were wide with an unhidden fear as she held their second son tightly to her chest.

"You know you're filthy mother was the downfall of our father...Are you ready to give up everything for this wench?"

Kagome glared, but before she could snap back an insult, Inuyasha set down his son. "Take Natsu and Kanaye into the woods."

Kagome turned to him, her heart jolting with fear and concern. "I can't leave you here!"

Inuyasha's eyes flickered with something Kagome had only seen in his eyes years ago when Naraku still lived. "Just get them away from here, Kagome."

She stared at him long and hard, almost making a silent plea, before she took Natsu's hand. She turned to Sesshomaru for just a moment before she retreated into the woods.

Her determination reminded Sesshomaru of Rin, but there was more in her eyes than just determination. There was a silent plea within those big brown eyes. He knew that her maternal instincts were now raging with the birth of two children. He knew how humans worked much better than he led on.

"Get your eyes off of her, Sesshomaru."

He turned back to his brother and his hands clenched his Toukijin tightly. He could feel his palms becoming damp with sweat and he knew that he hadn't been this excited for a fight in years.

Unbeknownst to him, his sibling was almost as apprehensive as he.

Inuyasha watched his half-brother carefully. He knew that most likely, Sesshomaru had grown bored after Naraku's death. Sango had spoken with Kagome a few months ago and told her that she had heard Sesshomaru were dead.

Inuyasha licked his lower lip thoughtfully, his eyes narrowing.

He had always known that his brother were alive. Sesshomaru had lasted this long, nothing minor like a human or demon could take him down. Inuyasha knew that it were only he who could take him down.

For eight years, after defeating Naraku, Inuyasha had gone back to Tokyo with Kagome. There they had been living. At only twenty, after going through some idiotic human ceremony which stated she were his wife, Kagome had given birth to Natsu and then just ten months ago, Kanaye.

She was a young mother, but she was strong.

Inuyasha shook his thoughts of her away, knowing that she were the last person to be thinking of right now. He needed to concentrate. He hadn't had a good fight since Naraku. There wasn't anything to fight in Kagome's time.

Yes, fatherhood had kept him occupied, but still...he was half demon after all and nothing could keep him from practicing relentlessly.

"Did you come here to fight or just stare at me?" asked Inuyasha, smirking just as wickedly as the youkai in front of him.

Sesshomaru sneered. "Don't flatter yourself Inuyasha."

And in a flash, he drew his Toukijin.

**>**

Kagome led her sons quickly into the nearby woods. Her heart was racing with fear for her husband, but she would not let her boys see.

"Who was that guy, Momma?" asked Natsu as she settled behind some bushes, still within eyesight of Inuyasha and Sesshomaru.

She turned to Natsu, who was crouching next to her. His small hands were balled up into tiny fists, his dark brown eyes, matching her own, staring intently into hers.

"That is your father's brother, Sesshomaru."

Natsu frowned. "Like Souta is your brother?"

Kagome flinched as Sesshomaru lunged.

"Uh, no. Not exactly."

Natsu ignored the fight beyond the woods and continued to speak. "But he isn't an uncle then?"

Kagome shook her head, her mouth slightly open as she flinched once again. "Yes, he's your uncle, Natsu."

She turned to him and sighed. "Here, play with Kanaye for mommy okay?"

The little boy nodded, but made the mistake of turning just as Inuyasha bellowed out "Wind Scar!"

"Momma! He's fighting our uncle! Go Dad! You can do it!" he squealed, his eyes bright with excitement.

Kagome tugged on the child's belt loop. "Shh, Natsu! You can't bother Daddy right now!"

She turned away from her son and let out a worried sigh.

Inuyasha hadn't fought in years, much less even lifted his sword very often. He had shown it to Natsu on a few occasions, but never to fight someone.

She knew that both of the siblings had grown bored in each other's absence and now that a good opponent were available, they were going to use this opportunity to its fullest.

'I wonder what Sesshomaru's been doing these past few years,' she thought absently.

Then she let out a cry as Inuyasha fell to the ground.

**>**

Sesshomaru stood over his brother with an evil glint in his eyes, as he stared down the blade of the Toukijin.

"Pathetic half-breed," he muttered.

Inuyasha snarled angrily as he glared at his brother.

'Already? How could I have lost so easily!'

Sesshomaru smirked. He had put everything into this fight. He put every ounce of boredom, every unshakable thought of Rin, every aggression towards humans into it. Now he stood triumphantly above his brother.

But would he do the final blow?

Would he actually kill his little brother before his new family?

Somehow, the thought almost unnerved him, making him even angrier than before.

"Well aren't you going to get it over with!" snapped Inuyasha.

Sesshomaru pulled the blade back slowly, his face far more blank than usual.

"Daddy!"

"Lord Sesshomaru!"

The two cries came from separate directions in unison.

Sesshomaru made the mistake of looking up just as Jaken came racing towards him.

Just as he did, Inuyasha swung at him.

Though he easily jumped back, it now put him on the defensive once again.

"Daddy! Stop it!" came Natsu's cry.

Inuyasha ignored the boy and continued to swing and swing at his brother.

"Damn Sesshomaru! Stop running and fight me!" he growled.

Sesshomaru smirked. "Just face it, mutt. You're too damn weak to beat me."

Inuyasha snarled viciously, but then watched as Sesshomaru stopped dead in his tracks. He pulled up his Toukijin to guard against a few more swings from the Tetsusaiga, but his eyes weren't even on his brother.

They were set upon the small boy, screaming at his father as Kagome came running from behind.

"Don't even think about it!" snapped Inuyasha as he realized what his brother's intentions were.

Sesshomaru and he clashed suddenly, forcing each of their swords against each other. Small sparks began to fly as the metals grinded against each other.

"It wouldn't even take an ounce of energy to do kill him and you know it," he snapped bitterly.

Inuyasha pushed harder, making Sesshomaru take a step backwards.

"Then why bother doing it?" he asked through a strained voice.

Sesshomaru smirked. "Why not?"

**>**

Rin tapped her nails idly against the windowsill as she stared off into space.

'I can't believe he kissed me,' she thought bitterly.

Her thoughts had been swirling for hours after her fiancee had left for his home.

The clouds above warned of rain, but Rin easily ignored it.

She felt the back of her head, where a small bump still remained. Only two days ago Sesshomaru had held her to him.

She had felt his hot breath upon her as she lay before him. He had been truly concerned for her and yet he had left her.

Why?

If he worried so much for her, he obviously had to care for her right?

Rin let out an angry sigh.

It was all so confusing!

Confusion and Sesshomaru went hand in hand and all she wanted to do was stand outside, screaming at the top of her lungs.

She wanted to tell Roiyaru that she did not love him. She wanted to run away into the woods and search until she found Sesshomaru. If she could find him, she would yell at him and then she'd kiss him.

God only knew she had pictured kissing him countless times...and on rare occasions, late at night, more than just kissing. (Ooh la la...)

There was so much she wanted to do and yet she could do nothing.

This was her life now. Sesshomaru had abandoned her for good. She was to remain in this prison she had built about herself until her days were done. She would live Roiyaru miles away. She would grow fat and have dozens of children. Once she grew old, she knew he would discard her like all men did.

Lady Adzumi was a rare beauty for her age and that was the only reason why her husband had remained faithful to her for so long.

Rin only prayed that Roiyaru would offer her that same loyalty.

Days before Sesshomaru had shown up, she had been somewhat content with simply marrying Roiyaru. Sesshomaru had still been a father figure to her. She had grown up, thinking of him in that sense.

But when she had seen him, new emotions had coursed through her body and she knew that were much stronger than a love for a guardian.

They were passion and lust. They were happiness and excitement. They were so many emotions, wrapped into one tiny, insignificant word...love.

She loved him with all her being and had for years. It had just taken womanhood and final seeing him after years and years of waiting, to realize it.

"Lady Rin?" came Tokiko's voice.

Rin looked up to see her small servant, standing with two other women who held bundles of material in their hands.

"These are the ladies who will be fitting you for your kimono."

Rin frowned, rising from her seat at the window. "Which kimono?"

The two women laughed gently from behind Tokiko.

"The one you will be wearing on your wedding day?" answered Tokiko gently.

Rin's heart sank even further. "Oh yes, that one."

"My, if I were marrying someone as handsome as Lord Roiyaru, I would not be as gloomy as you child," muttered one of the seamstresses. Rin ignored her comment and simply undressed as the women went to work about her.

**>**

"Natsu!" screamed Kagome as she chased after the boy.

Inuyasha glanced to them out of the corner of his eyes. "Get him out of here, Kagome!"

Sesshomaru shoved hard against his brother and Inuyasha stumbled backwards. It was then that Sesshomaru then charged towards the young boy.

He towered over the small child with a sneer upon his face.

"You leave me Dad alone!" the boy snapped before weakly kicking Sesshomaru in the shin.

Sesshomaru had to repress the laugh that tickled his throat.

It was then that he heard Kagome's footsteps, racing to him. She pulled back Natsu, but kept her eyes locked with Sesshomaru's.

"Leave him alone, Sesshomaru. He doesn't have anything to do with you or Inuyasha!"

Sesshomaru was about to speak, but Jaken came running up, stumbling over his robes in his rush.

"M'lord, there are new reports of the humans advancing in the Western Lands! We must go!" he gasped.

Sesshomaru stared at the cowering three a moment longer, before he turned to Inuyasha, who was rushing towards him, growling obscenities.

"We'll finish this later, brother."

And in a flash, his brother took off into the woods.

**>**

**A/n: Well once again, I am a lil' uneasy about this chappie. Oh well. I'm gonna start on the next one right after I post this, but I hope you guys like this one! Believe me, they will finish their fight later on! I hope to update ASAP, but you never know...Also, in the next chappie, there will be a steamy dream scene! Hee hee, see ya!**


	9. Estranged Dreams

**With Or Without You**

**Warning: This chapter contains a tiny, smudge of "lemonyness" to it, so if you are truly offended at all by it, look away from the first section of the chapter. It isn't truly necessary in the plot b/c Rin will think about it, but not in total detail...catch my drift? Besides, its only a dream and its not very descriptive...sooo...anywhoo...lol**

**A/n: Well I wrote like eight different versions of this damn chapter and this one is the one I finally settled on...notice that I said settled. I'm so, sosorry for the delay guys, but once again, school has managed to push its way in between everything else I do, so here it is. I promise to make up for it in the next chapter, m'kay? Feel free to yell and curse or whatever you feel neccessary for my lack of updating:(**

**Chapter Eight**

**Estranged Dreams**

**>**

Outside, the rain was falling rapidly, thudding rather loudly against the roof. Lightning would occasionally flash, followed by a loud clap of thunder. The soft sound of whimpers could be heard from the four other daughters of Lord Kisho down the hall.

And yet, despite all the distractions of the night, she heard none of them.

Instead, Rin lay sleeping.

Occasionally she would twist and turn, her lips parted as gasps continued to escape her. A small sheen of sweat crossed over her skin and all she could do was toss and turn.

She was dreaming.

She was dreaming of her beloved Lord Sesshomaru...

They lay in a field in the deadest, bleakest hour of the night.

Above her, no stars shined. There was no moon either, just simply blackness. It somewhat frightened and excited her at the same time. Had he not been with her, she would have been terribly afraid of such pure darkness.

She could feel the cool grass beneath her naked body. It tickled against her, but she ignored it. Her skin was tingling with excitement as he moved above her. With each breath, she could feel the sharp air pinching and nipping at her bare skin. Goose bumps had long since risen upon her flawless skin.

Normally Rin would be blushing brightly with shame and embarrassment of lying upon the ground in the middle of the night, completely naked.

Luckily, in the world of dreams, modesty is not an option. So she lay there, completely still. The only sounds were her breathing and his movements.

His own skin was so hot against hers and his lips moved expertly across her throat.

She pressed against him as he began to playfully nip her skin. Though just recently, she had lain so close to him that she could feel his hot breath; now his breath was cool and crisp, much like the breezes blowing about them.

She looked up to him, his golden eyes catching hers.

There was a sort of blankness to them that scared her. It was as if he weren't there, just the shell of him.

But oh, she could still feel him.

Her pulse quickened as he moved between her legs. His eyes turned to her and she whimpered his name. He smirked slightly and began to work his way down her torso.

Never had she thought she'd give herself so freely, so easily. Perhaps it was because she loved him, but still. This was so unlike her and he was acting so unlike himself as well.

She grasped his shoulders, then recoiled suddenly when she realized that he had an arm on his left side. "Your...your arm?" she questioned amidst the onslaught of pleasure about her.

Sesshomaru did not reply, but simply pushed against her, his body so very smooth against hers, his skin was like the finest silk. She groaned as she forgot about the renewed appendage and began to grind herself against his pelvis. She could hear him moaning in her ear and it pleased her.

Her heart began to race as he pressed against her. He easily slid in and she bucked off the ground, pressing harder into him.

She was curious for only a moment as to why the pain of a woman's first time was absent.

He dipped his head down to kiss her fully. His lips were so soft, and yet, they were deathly cold. She felt his tongue sliding within her lips, and it too, was repulsively cool.

Rin immediately jerked her head away, letting out a small whimper as she shut her eyes.

She felt him still and she opened her eyes to find him staring at her...but it wasn't him...it was Roiyaru now.

She rose up, covering her hands over herself quickly and bringing her legs up to her body. "Roiyaru!" she cried out, glaring at him angrily. She could feel a deep blush spreading over her cheeks as she stared, wide eyed at him.

He rose up, somehow fully clothed, and stood above her with cold eyes. His dark eyes seemed to pierce hers with pain and sorrow...betrayal.

She never felt so filthy before.

"Please, let me explain," she whispered between short gasps as tears began to rack her body. She had never seen Roiyaru look at her in such a disapproving manner. What was she thinking?

Suddenly, above her, the dark sky was beginning to slowly fall upon her, sinking down onto the earth.

She could feel it pressing down upon her, making her stomach twist and turn.

With a sudden, loud gasp, the air escaped from her lungs. Her mouth opened and closed, trying to bring in air, but none came. Her eyes were stinging and she could feel her heart hammering in the chest as she felt herself becoming light headed. Panic was spreading over her just as rapidly as her heartbeat.

She felt so very helpless, so alone.

All of the sudden, she looked up to find Sesshomaru, dressed as usual, standing above her. The darkness seemed to simply pass around him.

He was speaking to her, and yet she heard nothing. She only watched in vain as his lips moved to form words unknown to her. He seemed to be himself now, stoic and calm.

And it was his eyes that gave him away.

His golden eyes were full of life once again and as she felt her lungs burning,threatening to burst,with the lack of oxygen, he held out a hand to her.

It was then that she woke up.

**>**

The rain beat against him, stinging his eyes and making his cheeks flush red, though it did cool his heated skin. His blood was still boiling from the quick fight with his brother and he knew that once he found the humans responsible for shortening his long awaited fight with his brother, he was going to slay them without a second thought.

It was now late into the night and he could feel the cool temperatures around him.

His silvery bangs were flat against his forehead, but he could care less what his hair looked like. An anger was fueling through him towards humans so violent, that he had rarely ever felt it this strong before.

For the first time in years he had found his brother, a great opponent and now he had to escape to defend land from the pathetic creatures before they tore it up too badly.

Behind him, Jaken was chasing him tiredly. Sesshomaru knew he should stop out of pity for the toad, but he felt some anger towards him as well. If it hadn't been for Jaken, he may have killed that little mutt Inuyasha called a son. That would have definitely got his brother going...

The children were a good mix of their parents, though they lacked several of Inuyasha's traits, such as silver hair or dog ears. Sesshomaru thought that the absence of dog ears were a good thing for the children.

He still found it hard to believe that his brother had had children with the human girl. It was odd to say the least, to him.

The children both carried the scent of youkai within their blood, but human blood overpowered it easily. The only sign that they had any youkai blood within them was from either the baby's eyes or the way the older son bowed up against Sesshomaru. No mortal child would do so without a second thought as he had.

Why have children?

They were whiny, weak and constantly in need of protection.

Sesshomaru faintly remembered his childhood and he knew that he had been an exception. Since the day of his birth, he had been alone. Only on a few occasions did he have his father's guidance.

It did not bother him at all. He was, as said many times before, quite content with being by himself.

He could hear the constant panting of Jaken behind him and decided to slow his pace just a bit.

"Thank...thank...you," he heard Jaken sputtered.

The thought of children bothered him terribly. He knew that someday, he too, would have to reproduce, but only for the sake of his possessions. The child would be merely insurance, so that if he were to die somehow, someone would take over his spot as Lord of the Western Lands.

With having children, came a mate.

Sesshomaru frowned as Rin popped into his thoughts at the mere thought of it.

'It's too late now, she's getting married in a few weeks.'

Why worry about her marrying? She were only a child in his eyes.

He had known her since she were a little girl and to think of her in such a way would be wrong, wouldn't it?

He had never truly announced his position as father for the girl though, and he never heard her call him father either. He had simply been her guardian.

And he had always protected her from terrible things. This marriage, he could tell, was somewhat unwanted.

Or at least he hoped.

A soft trace of her scent was still upon his clothes, but he could easily ignore it now through the rain.

Still, it was the simple thought of another man that troubled him and thus, confused him so.

Jealousy was burning deeper within him then he'd allow himself to realize. It was fueling much of his aggressions at the moment, but his pride and denial were the only things standing in the way of realizing it.

Instead he'd much rather be quiet and emotionless about the entire matter. To bottle up whatever he may be feeling, to force it aside and deal with it years later was much more appealing then actually expressing it.

As the thunder rolled slowly around him, making his pulse quicken and his eyes narrow, he took off at his normal pace once again, turning into nothing but a mere white blur.

**>**

She awoke with a jerk, lying on her side.

Her eyes opened wide and she could feel her heart racing. Her entire body seemed to be trembling and her breathing was just as rushed as it had been in the dream.

She slowly sat up, glancing about her as the four other daughters of Lord Kisho slept. The storm seemed to be dying away and the girls seemed to be drifting into the deepest of sleeps.

'What was that?' she asked herself, pulling her knees to her chest with clammy hands. She tilted her chin to rest upon her knees as she closed her eyes, trying to explain to herself what her dream had meant.

The cool, crisp scent of fresh rain was drifting in on the night's chilly breeze, causing Rin to cower back under her covers.

She could still feel his hands upon her, still hear his breathing within her ears. She could still taste how vile his kiss had been.

Had it be Sesshomaru or Roiyaru who kissed her?

Why was it only Sesshomaru who attempted to save her and why, only when dying, did he come back to the real,alive youkai she knew and loved?

It had all been so rushed and fuzzy that it felt as if someone had told her a quick story and left her to fill in the missing pieces.

"Rin? You okay?" came a groggy voice.

Rin rolled over to face Ami, one of the youngest daughters. Her round, rosy cheeks seemed to glow in the darkness of the room, her ebony hair straggled and mussed.

"Yes, just a bad dream."

The girl nodded, blinking slowly before her beady eyes shut for good.

Rin rolled away from her and back onto her other side, letting out a sigh as her brain tried its damndest to figure out the inter workings of the dream.

**>**

His cerulean eyes stared restlessly out into the violent storm.

He jerked his head to the side, causing his bangs to fall out ofhis view.

His hands gripped the windowsill tightly, his brow furrowed into a deep scowl as his thoughts grew heavier and heavier.

Though his heart should be light and content with the bright future laid out before him, something was not right.

Yes, he was to marry the prettiest girl in all of northern Japan and with this marriage, he would inherit acres and acres of land. Yet, something was wrong.

Rin had said that she felt the same, but she had not specified completely.

He was no fool, though when around her, he became somewhat dumbstruck. He could tell that there were hidden meanings behind nearly everything she said. Her eyes were always blank, closed off to him. Even before they had become engaged, though she seemed happier then, she had always been very mysterious, reserved.

The thought of her fleeting happiness bothered him, but he tried not to dwell upon it.

He rolled his head about leisurely, thinking deeply.

She only let him know little bits of information at a time. She never gave the full story, nor did she allow too much of her personality to shine through.

And _this_ is what had captivated him.

The mystery, the shyness, the gentle modesty she held. She was so much more than just another beauty, she was just...just...just...

"Argh!" he groaned out into the night.

She was all he thought of. He felt only for her.

Every breath was for her, every sigh, every heartbeat...it was all for her.

"Lord Roiyaru, is everything alright?" asked a small, middle aged woman, clutching her kimono to her tightly as she tried to shake sleep from her features. She had seemed to pop out of nowhere.

Roiyaru turned and nodded. "Yes, everything's fine."

**>**

"Rin?"

She rolled back over and sat up at the sight of Lady Adzumi, despite how her body pleaded with her to simply fall back asleep.

Lady Adzumi's raven mane was down, unlike her usual, tightly pulled back bun. Rin could see the faint traces of age around the woman's eyes and lips, but she was still in her age, a beauty to behold.

"I'm sorry if I awoke you," she whispered, glancing quickly about her other daughters.

Rin shook her head. "No, I woke up a little while ago because of the storm."

The woman nodded and signaled for Rin to step into the hall. Rin quickly got up, stepping over the girls and headed out into the dark, cool hallway.

"My husband has just sent me a letter from the Western Lands. He wishes to conquer them," she said it almost immediately after Rin slid the door shut behind her.

Rin gasped, clutching her hands to her chest. "Lord Sesshomaru is the lord of those lands! Lord Kisho will be killed if he tries to conquer them!" she replied quickly, her eyes wide with fear.

Lady Adzumi nodded, her eyes suddenly teary.

"I know, I know. When I met that man, I knew he was powerful," she replied lamely.

Rin stepped forward and embraced the woman she now called mother.

"Just send him a message back," she whispered.

Lady Adzumi nodded. "I already have. He's never listened to me before though when it came to matters outside of the village, so I don't see why he would now."

Rin nodded, becoming silent in thought.

"What if Roiyaru went out and stopped him?" she asked lightly.

Lady Adzumi looked up to Rin and shook her head. "No dear, you do not wish to send off a young man you love to war before you even get the chance to marry." She took a deep breath and wiped away her small tears.

The word 'war' disturbed Rin more than she realized.

She placed a fake smile upon her face rather suddenly and turned to Rin. "Don't worry about Lord Kisho, m'dear. He promised me that he did not wish to miss the wedding of his most favored daughter. It is after all, only four weeks away."

Rin nodded, her smile just as, if not more, fake as Lady Adzumi's.

"But, it wouldn't hurt to pray for his safe return," added Lady Adzumi cheerfully, her sadness filtering through her dark eyes.

Rin nodded again, before embracing the older woman one more time.

"Once Lord Sesshomaru hears that Lord Kisho is the lord of my home, he will stop. I promise you. He isn't that cold blooded, I know him," Rin added optimistically.

Lady Adzumi backed away, heading back down the hall to her room. She turned and her eyes locked with Rin's. "I wish I could believe that dear," she paused then added, "I honestly do want to believe."

Rin watched as she slipped into the dark shadows down the hallway, leaving Rin in silence, except for the storm outside. She turned reluctantly and headed back inside, where the four sisters were already back to sleep.

She walked with soft footsteps, stepping lightly overeach roundhill of girl. She reached thenearest windowand leaned upon it, resting her chin upon a soft palm.

The chocolate marble hues of her eyes ignited with each flash of lighting as she stared out against the night. The cracks of thunder were growing more distant with each minute and the soft scent of rain was drifting up to meet her.

She said not a word and her face seemed somewhat content. Yet within, a terrible storm was billowing, much more violent and dark than the one blowing away from her.

She knew that Lord Sesshomaru, in the odd state that he was in, may feel no remorse at all for killing her new guardian, especially if that man were dishonoring his land.

Would he do it just to spite her?

She doubted that, for he seemed not to care that she were marrying another man. He had seemed so blank and carefree that she wondered if he were hiding his true feelings.

That small hope continued to flicker within her heart, though her mind continually tried to blow that light out.

She tried to ignore the memories of her dream only moments ago as well, though the odd bizarreness to it continued to trickle into her thoughts. Was it just simply, a weird dream or much more?

She let out another small sigh.

She knew that in four weeks, she would marry Roiyaru. She did not need Lady Adzumi counting the days down for her. She also knew just as well that Sesshomaru would not show up.

'But what if he does?' her heart would quip.

It were thoughts like these that kept her heart and thoughts heavy.

When Roiyaru had left, he had kissed her upon the cheek with words of warning and whispers of love.

Though most women should be thrilled to hear such words, she did not desire them. Not from him anyway.

She was slowly accepting her fate. Even if it were an unwanted fate, it was just simply what was to be.

The designs for her wedding kimono had been made and would be finished a week before the wedding. It was going to be a beautiful gown, full of silks, satins and so elegant that she wanted only one man to see her in it.

On any other occasion she would be thrilled at the idea of such a fine garment. Now it was only another dark symbol, reminding her of that eternal promise she would make to Roiyaru.

Another weighted thought was that of Lord Kisho.

The man had been so kind and loving to Rin. He had become the father she lost and never hesitated in giving her anything she wanted. He was a kind, warm hearted man that only thought of others. It were probably the thought of his new union with the Lord Jiro, Roiyaru's father, that had him now wishing to conquer the Western Lands.

Rin thought it foolish. There were no need to impress Lord Jiro. He was a pompous man and she knew that he thought Roiyaru was marrying down, even if he had told her she was, by far, the most beautiful maiden in all of Japan. She knew that if Jiro were to disapprove of the wedding, it would not stop Roiyaru from it...though she did wish he were a pushover in that matter.

Rin pushed away from the windowsill and glanced to the slumbering girls behind her. They all looked rather peaceful in their state and Rin decided to join them.

She slowly crept back, under her covers and fell asleep almost instantly after saying a quick prayer for Lord Kisho and a soft plea for Lord Sesshomaru.

**>**

**A/n: Okay, just kind of a "filler" chapter. The next one will be more stuff happening and all that jazz. I know its startin' to drag, but in the next chapter everything's gonna start being put in motion...confusing, I know...lol. And yet, once again, I am uneasy about this chapter. Please bare with me! I love you guys! You rock! See ya**


	10. Turning Point

**With Or Without You**

**A/n: I know, over tw****o weeks w/ no update! I'm so, so sorry! I've been quite busy with the stupidest flippin' class ever...chemistry. I hate science and I hate math, so if ya'll ever wish to know what causes my lack of updating...there it is. Those two classes. Not to mention that it is also Homecoming, so I've been quite busy with that as well. Well, enough with the excuses, on to the story!**

**Oh, one more thing...I love polite criticism and I love, adore, worship, ya'lls reviews. As of late, I've been recieving a few separate reviews on the names I've chosen for my other characters, Adzumi, Kisho, Saeko, etc. I'll be the first to tell you guys that I am no Japanese buff. I know about .26 percent of the language. I'm sorry if I've "offended" or irritated anyone with whatever mistakes I may have made with the names of these characters. One reviewer informed me that Adzumi is no where near being a Japanese name, and if so...then I guess she's just not Japanese or something, lol. Sorry guys! Also, I promise I'll answer ya'lls reviews in the next chapter...I really need to. :(**

**Chapter Ten**

**Turning Point**

**>**

Two Weeks Until The Wedding

**>**

She stared blankly at herself in the reflection of the mirror in Lady Adzumi's room. Her dark eyes looked hallow upon her white face from lack of sleep. Her pale face hinted that she was not eating well. Dark circles loomed underneath her eyes and just as the daughters came in to see her, she let out a large, cat-like yawn.

It was not an image Rin liked to see, but she supposed that maybe, her physical appearance had finally caught up to what a brutal torment her heart and soul were undergoing.

She had slept so poorly lately, ever since the dream of Sesshomaru. She did not have any others as vivid as that, but, they were of him or of Roiyaru. Either way, the dreams always seemed to confuse her and wake her in the earliest hours of the morning, making it near impossible to fall back asleep.

"Oh my," gasped Ami, staring brightly.

"I'm so jealous," whispered Namiko to Saeko.

Lady Adzumi stood behind all four of them. Her face just as gaunt as Rin's, smiled dimly. "You look stunning, Rin."

The two seamstresses stood together, looking quite smug.

"I can't believe you finished it so soon," Rin said finally, looking down upon the fine, delicate gown.

The women grinned. "We were just so excited that we went to work immediately...besides, we were invited to your wedding and who would want to miss this wedding? Nothing big ever happens around here, like this!"

Rin grinned, glancing back to herself.

Her long brown hair hung low around her shoulders.

The fatter, stumpier of the two women stepped forward. She scooped up Rin's mane in one big swoop and began to pin it hastily into a bun.

"Of course this will be up, you know. Don't want to look like some riffraff at your own wedding do you?" she cackled.

Rin looked bitterly at herself. This was just the beginning. Soon make-up would follow, the polite manners, obedient attitude and so on. Her only wish would be to serve Roiyaru.

These past two weeks had been nothing but a blur, a dream that continued on and on. She was in a fog that would not lift.

The days had simply flown by and though she had tried her damndest to keep herself busy, it did not matter, for at night, she could think freely without any distraction. It was then that she constantly thought of him.

Lady Adzumi glanced to her daughter's face and finally noticed the sorrow behind her dark eyes. "Girls, may I have a moment alone with the bride to be?" she asked gently.

Though her tone was soft, her dark eyes were stone cold.

The six women grumpily left the room, muttering to one another quickly.

Rin watched the gaggle of geese exit before she stepped down from the wooden pedestal. She stared at the floor, not looking to her mother. She knew her heart would betray her and tears would fall once again.

Instead, she resolved to studying the hem of her kimono with shaky hands.

Lady Adzumi crossed the room and began to circle her daughter, her eyes grazing leisurely over the pure white material. She began to hum, gently, a soft tune unknown to Rin.

"Lady Ai and Umi did a very nice job. I'm impressed. Perhaps I will have them do each of the girls' when they marry," she commented airily. Rin nodded, now watching the older woman in the mirror's reflection.

Lady Adzumi looked up suddenly, catching Rin's gaze head on in the mirror's reflection.

"I see you too, have been restless lately?"

She gestured to the dark circles underneath her eyes that were only a shade lighter than Rin's.

"Is it from anticipation...or dread?" she asked, playing gently with Rin's hair.

The young girl felt the moment of truth upon her and she wanted nothing, but to scream out the entire story. She wanted to tell her mother that she had been in love for quite some time, just with the wrong man. 'If you can even say I ever loved him,' she quipped quickly.

Instead, she shrugged casually.

"A little of both, I suppose," she whispered, her voice stronger than she'd have guessed it to be.

"Mother! Lady Umi and Ai want their money now!" came Saeko's brash voice.

Lady Adzumi let out a gentle sigh and embraced her daughter quickly.

"I felt the same way, Rin. One outweighing the other to be honest," she replied, walking towards the door.

Rin frowned. "Which one outweighed the other?"

Lady Adzumi stared a moment before she replied, "Dread."

Rin was taken back a bit by the comment, but before she could push the matter further, the two plump women burst inside with four equally round teenagers behind her. "Now, now Lady Rin. We must get you out of this before anything happens to it!" laughed the one called Umi.

**>**

Night had fallen upon him once again.

Only the light glow from the fire allowed anyone to know of his presence. Feet away, Jaken was humming softly, cooking something that smelled awful.

Sesshomaru's golden eyes swivelled about the crisp scenery. He was in his home once more. It had taken quite some time, but he had finally tracked down the bastards desecrating his land. They were just a few miles away and when day broke, he would attack.

And still, they were the least of his worries at the moment.

"M'lord, I suppose we were planning on seeing Rin for her wedding were we?"

Jaken had made the comment hours ago and yet it had stuck with him the entire time.

Two weeks.

Just two weeks and she would be too far from his grasp.

'Why do I care? She's obviously in love with that pathetic excuse for a man...besides, if I truly wanted her, I could easily take her.'

And yet he knew damn well that he would never wish to take her without her wanting him to.

For the past two weeks he had one thing plaguing his mind, the search of these humans. And now that he had found them, knew that they were weak and could be easily taken down, he had nothing else to focus his thoughts upon besides her.

He had grown tired of thinking of the many ways to attack his sibling days ago. He was a simple being to say the least. For him to figure out Inuyasha and his ways of thinking took him only a matter of minutes...except for the issue of his love for mortals...

Who was he kidding? Thoughts of Rin were swirling just as madly in him as thoughts of Kagome were within Inuyasha.

She was the only thing he had yet to figure out. She was a disease, a virus, spreading through his limbs and contaminating everything he knew.

Two nights ago, after Jaken had spoke of Rin once again, he had awoke in the night.

His clothes were clinging to him and his heart was racing. He rarely dreamed and even more rarely did he dream of women.

But he had dreamt of her, so very vividly. Her dark eyes looming against that creamy, skin as her pink lips spread with whispers for him. He could still feel her nails dragging against his skin, clinging to him tightly as she-

"M'lord, are you sure you're not hungry?" croaked Jaken, stirring some vile concoction. Sesshomaru simply cut his eyes away, turning towards the bright fires of the men down in the valley below with a sigh.

With the thought of dreams and marriage, it had also occurred to Sesshomaru that after she said yes, Rin would belong to that man. She would be his and that bothered him more than anything. While gone, he had always known that Rin was free, belonging to no one because she had specifically promised him that she would remain in the village until he returned for her.

Now though...she would break that promise. She would leave with some man.

And with this man, she would do what most mates do.

Sesshomaru felt a growl tickling within his chest, his stomach clenching involuntarily as he glared off into space.

Without a word, he rose up and headed out into the woods.

Jaken's beady eyes followed him without a word. It was not a surprise when his lord would just leave. Jaken knew that the threat was still here, so his master would not be leaving him so soon to go wandering. No, he had many things on his mind. Jaken was far too old and wise (Yes, I said wise) not to notice that something was bothering Lord Sesshomaru.

Usually his lord was apt about getting to his destination in quick time. He would stop only if someone were on the verge of life or death. Lately though, he was stopping to sit and think. Either that or he would wander off for hours at a time.

Normally Sesshomaru was the type to stare off into space, deep in thought. Yet now he frowned and scowled, often growling without his knowledge. Jaken found it both amusing and disturbing.

What was happening to his lord and master? It couldn't have been Rin...for they had not seen her in nearly two weeks...

'What did she say to upset you so, m'lord?' thought Jaken angrily, his beady eyes staring at the spot Lord Sesshomaru had disappeared into.

Jaken tried his hardest not to pry too much into Sesshomaru's mind for it was quite a task to take on, especially someone unknown to the pains and aches of love.

"Jaken," came a growl.

He turned to find his master had returned, still looking just as irritable as before.

"Get some rest for tomorrow," Sesshomaru ordered sternly.

Jaken flinched slightly as his master's tone, but kept quiet. He watched him move gracefully across the fire's light. His sliver mane caught the light and a golden shimmer flew across it.

Jaken had always thought of how beautiful his master was. It was an innocent, admiring notice...nothing that a lover would think. He just simply believed that his master was, by far, the most powerful, mystical looking youkai he had ever encountered.

And he was so very glad to have encountered him...

**>**

Late, late into the night it was.

The dewy atmosphere swept around her with the night's chilling breeze. She shuddered slightly, closing her eyes as the air stung the freshest tears falling slowly down her soft cheeks.

Her dark lashes blinked back the warm tears, trying her hardest to remain quiet.

She sniffled ever so quietly, delicately wiping her nose on the back of her hand. Behind her the soft snores could be heard, and for once, she was grateful for the nasal noises.

She tried to recall the many events that had passed through the week, but they seemed so insignificant compared to those days weeks ago when he had visited her.

So few words had been spoken. There had been a wall between that had once been nonexistant. As a child she was innocent, easy to communicate with. She was young so she could be excused for her actions. Now though, she was a woman and it seemed that both she and Lord Sesshomaru had put a bubble around her that kept them seperated.

Tension was floating between them.

What kind of tension? Good or bad?

She knew not the answer.

Clutched tightly in her other hand and draped across her lap, was the pure, white kimono that in just fourteen days, she would dress in. She would walk to Roiyaru, eyes downcast in both shame and fear. In fourteen days, she would be Lord Roiyaru's wife, not Rin.

She let out a tiny whimper as her knuckles grew white from gripping to the silky material. Her whole frame shook as she used every ounce of energy to keep herself quiet.

For nearly two weeks she had refrained from crying. She would keep herself busy and would try and keep someone up late, late into the night so that when she would go to bed, she would be far too exhausted to worry about crying.

Last night though, she had gotten a full night's rest. She had awaken late in the morning with the news of her just arrived wedding gown.

It had been, like stated before, the wake up call that this was it. These were the last days of her freedom. Though it sounded so very dramatic, it were what she felt.

"Sesshomaru," she whimpered gently.

It didn't help that she had dreamt of him just a few days prior. A dream that had him being ripped from her tight grasp. Who was pulling who, she had no idea. All she knew was that she had lost him.

"Rin?"

She jerked, looking over her shoulder as Saeko sat up, frowning.

"What're crying about?" she snapped.

Rin eyed her carefully, knowing full well that her face was tear stained and her eyes blood shot.

"I...I...was-"

"You were thinking of that youkai again weren't you?" Saeko interrupted quietly.

Rin frowned slightly. "No."

Saeko snorted somewhat, rising to sit fully upright. "Liar. I heard you say his name...what's with you? You're getting married in a few days! Stop blubbering and go to sleep."

Rin opened her mouth to protest but as Saeko began to lay back down, she looked over her round shoulder and muttered, "You should be grateful for what you've been given, including Roiyaru."

"I am grateful!" Rin snapped back, a little louder than she had anticipated.

Ami rose up slowly, rubbing her puffy eyes. "What's goin' on?" she asked groggily, glancing from Saeko to Rin. Saeko just shrugged and began to settle back under her covers.

Rin glared a moment longer at Saeko before she turned to Ami with a slight smile, knowing that the younger girl was far too sleepy to notice her teary face.

"Nothing Ami, just go back to sleep."

Rin cast one more glance towards Saeko, who she could have sworn was smiling, before she rose up silently to put away the near priceless gown.

All of the female family members had been on high strings. With Rin's wedding, Kisho's absence and Namiko and Saeko's jealousy, it was growing quite tenaciously uneasy in the mansion. Saeko had always held a bit of resentment towards Rin, but now she was just looking for reasons to hate her.

Rin could careless, as long as Saeko did not act upon her vile nature.

Rin turned towards a small table near the window. Upon it lay a letter from Lord Kisho. He had wished for the family's health and continued to promise that he would be home in time for Rin's wedding. Rin held her doubts, but decided that she would keep her hope alive that he would be home in time.

She was far more concerned with the presence of Lord Sesshomaru.

He was returningto theWestern Lands last she'd seen of him and she knew how territorial he was of anything. To be upon his _father's _land was probably the worst of the worst things to be touched by mortal hands.

Little did she know that she were the worst of the worsts to be touched in Sesshomaru's eyes.

**>**

Sesshomaru gripped Toukijin tightly, unknowingly reassuring himself that the sword remained faithfully at his side. His eyes narrowed decisively, a smirk spreading across his thin lips.

Down in the nearest valley below him trudged on the small army that had claimed to have concurred his land. They were small in numbers...barely fifty men, and that was giving them probably more than there were.

Though some of the men were of impressive size, they looked tired and weak.

He could hear them singing songs in triumphant, laughing about their leader and the easy way they had found this bountiful land.

"Pathetic mortals, they believe that they've won."

Jaken turned to his master as he spoke.

And then, before he knew it, his master was heading stealthily down the mountain's side.

**>**

Lord Kisho's piercing black eyes stared darkly about him. It was an ominous day and he could feel trouble about him. Dark clouds loomed over head and though it were a nice, July day, a cold bitterness filtered within him.

The men could feel it as well, for they were solemn and as silent as ever, except for the drunken fools near the back who were singing his praise.

They had covered so much of these beautiful lands that they should have been rejoicing...yet the disturbing aura around them made it rather hard to celebrate without the aide of alcohol.

"Perhaps we've gone too far?" he questioned quietly to one of his men. The man simply shrugged hopelessly.

Kisho had hoped this would be a fine present for Roiyaru's father. Rin was a high dollar girl. Far more beautiful than most in the land, she was expensive and yet, Kisho wanted to offer even more to Roiyaru's father.

He was growing tired though and with Rin's wedding fast approaching, he felt that he may miss it.

At that thought, the look of disappointment in her big brown eyes, he felt his heart tightened in his chest and bit his lower lip. Though not his by blood, Rin was known to behis favorite daughter and though he would never admit it, she was. Beautiful, smart, quiet and gentle, she was everything he had always wanted in a daughter. She was so very similar to Lady Adzumi. His other daughters were rather brash and outgoing.

Saeko being the worst.

"My lord! Someone approaches!" came a call.

It was then that that sense of dread hit harder than ever.

Kisho looked to find a tall figure walking proudly towards them. A mane of silver followed him, his golden eyes easily found Kisho's and held them. Kisho felt himself shaking with fear. The youkai's strut was steady and confident, his eyes never leaving Kisho's.

"Before I kill you mortal, I must ask why you're here," the handsome youkai snarled, stopping only a few feet away from the small army of maybe fifty men.

Kisho sat up straighter upon his horse.

"I am Lord Kisho, who are you demon?" he called back, trying to make himself sound as vicious as the being before him. He was intimidating to most men, but not in anyway to Sesshomaru.

Sesshomaru cocked an ebony brow high in question. 'If he wishes to act powerful before his men, the he can for awhile.'

"I am Lord Sesshomaru of these lands you have been so carelessly trampling upon."

Kisho felt the color fall from his face. He had heard that name...it was the name of the man Rin had lived with years ago...

No!

No! It couldn't be!

He appeared to be cold, ruthless and vicious. How could he have taken care of such a sweet girl as Rin? It was impossible!

The Sesshomaru Rin had spoken of was brave, articulate, proud and protective. Surely this was a mistake.

"I apologize to you Lord Sesshomaru, but where were you when we entered your lands? For we have been her for nearly three or four weeks," he stated smartly, pushing Rin from his thoughts.

Sesshomaru grit his teeth.

"What does it matter where I was? The point is that you are on my land and I intend on removing you."

Kisho stared a moment into Sesshomaru's eyes.

This man had a been heard of long before Rin had appeared.

He was the son of a mighty youkai who had died years ago. Kisho's father and grandfather had also heard of this family of youkai, and they were most certainly, a force to be feared.

Still...could this be the youkai Rin spoke so fondly of?

Lady Adzumi had sent him a letter, mentioning the arrival of a youkai in their village...was this him?

"Have you nothing to say, human?" snapped the youkai.

Kisho frowned, choosing his words carefully, before he shook his head. "I have nothing to say to you, youkai."

Sesshomaru grinned deviously, lunging quickly towards the over confident man.

He leapt high into the air as the men around Kisho gasped. In one quick swoop, the front line of nearly twenty five men were down. Sesshomaru heard not a sound but the beating of his heart. His veins were pulsing with adrenaline and a new found excitement. He loved this!

And then, so unexpectedly, Rin's voice rang in his mind.

"Lord Sesshomaru!"

He flinched slightly, resulting in nearly being stabbed by four men.

Kisho frowned, choosing his words carefully, before he shook his head. "I have nothing to say to you, youkai."

Sesshomaru grinned deviously, lunging quickly towards the over confident man.

He leapt high into the air as the men around Kisho gasped. In one quick swoop, the front line of nearly twenty five men were down. Sesshomaru heard not a sound but the beating of his heart. His veins were pulsing with adrenaline and a new found excitement. He loved this!

And then, so unexpectedly, Rin's voice rang in his mind.

"Lord Sesshomaru!"

He flinched slightly, resulting in nearly being stabbed by four men.

With a resilient growl, he then piveted on the heel of his foot, and turned to rip and slash at a smaller group of men charging towards him. A malicious grin spread across his lips as he set his eyes upon his true intended target...Kisho.

**>**

"...I wonder what he'll say once _he_ hears..."

Rin glared at Saeko and Namiko from across the room. They were whispering loudly, snickering behind their chubby hands and eyeing Rin with resentment. She wanted nothing more than to hurl her cup of tea at him and scream, "Shut up!"

But alas, Rin was not that kind of girl.

Instead she simply peered at the two of them, remaining quiet. She knew that Saeko had always held so sort of anger towards her, but Rin never knew that she would act this way. Rin was fully aware that each of her siblings were quite taken with Lord Roiyaru, but still...

Rin let out a small sigh, sipping at her tea. The warm liquid slid smoothly down her throat as she frowned. What were they scheming?

**>**

There they stood.

Facing one another as men lay about them, groaning and moaning. Few were dead, but very, very badly injured. The sickening scent of blood filled his nostrils, making his stomach churn, but at the same time, making his heart race.

Blood spattered his face and ever so slowly, he wiped it away with his sleeve. Blood dripped from his fingertips and malice shimmered within his amber eyes. He stared coldly from behind silver bangs; his face calm and complacent.

Fear would strike the heart of anyone at his appearance.

Lord Kisho felt shivers running up and down his spine, his black eyes staring fearfully at the being before him.

He knew not what to say.

Should he beg for his life or simply die honorably?

He could hear the voices of his family, smell the delicate perfume of his wife. He could see their happy faces beaming as he rode back home, Rin standing beautifully in her wedding gown, awaiting his consent.

He couldn't die.

He refused to.

"So, do you still refuse to leave my land?" said the youkai.

Kisho stared at him, the thought of dying a whimpering, begging coward etching its way into his mind.

"Lord Sesshomaru, I must tell you that I do not wish to die," he replied calmly.

Sesshomaru cocked an eyebrow in defiance. "Is that so?"

Kisho nodded before he drew his sword. Taking a deep breath, saying a few words of love for his wife, he charged.

Sesshomaru's eyes ignited and he felt a laugh tickling his throat.

He simply turned away and the pathetic human fell forward.

**>**

Rin walked down the main road of their village.

She continously recieved kind words of congratulations and compliments as she strode slowly about. Tokiko followed behind her as always, simply standing in her mistress's shadow.

Rin stared hopelessly at the village's entrance, imagining that Sesshomaru would walk through just as calm and confidently as he had that one day. He would walk to her, pull her into his arms and tell her that everything was going to be okay.

'Fool, do you honestly believe that he would do such a thing...to anyone?' she snipped silently.

Rin sighed gently, keeping her face as cool and collected as possible so that the rumors did not grow anymore than they already had. She glanced over her shoulder, grinning to Tokiko who returned the soft smile, before she continued on with her walk.

**>**

Kisho pushed himself off of the dirt and took a deep breath. No matter how many times he charged the youkai, he easily dodged the attack. He was just simply toying with him until he gave up.

'I will not give up,' he thought bravely.

He rose up on shaky legs, his aging body putting up a fight just to remain in an upright position. His eyes found Sesshomaru's, who were sparkling with mirth. He let out a cry and charged once more.

And once more, Sesshomaru dodged him.

Kisho fell face first onto the earth and rose up on his knees and elbows, breathing heavily.

Nearing his mid-fifties, the old man was doing quite well compared to Sesshomaru's standards. He would give the human credit, he did have a fire in him.

"I can't die," Kisho whispered, gasping for air.

He then felt the cool, freezingtip of a sword against his chin, lifting his head upwards.

"I think you can, human."

The cold, vile voice of his murderer made him grow sick.

He stared into Sesshomaru's eyes, praying to find a glimmer of hope or mercy...but he found none.

And then, like a bolt of lighting, it hit him.

'Rin! She knows this man!'

Sesshomaru pulled back, ready to make one final swing with Toukijin. His knuckles cracked as he reared back...and then her name fell from the man's lips.

"Rin!"

Sesshomaru stopped in mid swing.

His eyes widened considerably, staring harder than ever at the man before him.

"What did you just say?"

The old man gasped, pushing off of the muddy earth below him. "Rin...please...spare me for the sake of my daughter, Rin!"

**>**

**A/n: Wll here it is guys. I hope you like it! I can't say when the next update will be, but I'm praying that it isn't as long as a wait as this one. I'm really, really sorry guys! Time just flew by! Oh and on a side note, I was just wondering if any of ya'll read Harry Potter? I just finished the 6th book and omg, I cried and cried when I read it! I couldn't believe it! Lol, okay, enough of that, review like ya'll always do! See ya!**


	11. As It All Comes Falling Down

**With Or Without You**

**A/n: Whoa...I did not think I could update so soon, but low and behold, I did! Here it is guys, full of the good stuff, except the lemon which will be coming in about, oh, a little bit...lol.**

**Oh! BTW, I've gotten 6706 hits for this story! OMG you guys! That's so awesome! Thank you, thank you, thank you! But...that also means that there are 6535 people who AREN'T reviewing! Lol, oh well, that's fine. Thank you guys who do! I really , really appreciate it! I really do!**

**Here are the replies to the reviews which I said would come:**

**vimpire-dogdemongirl89: Yay! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who cried! Lol.**

**The Kaizeress: I'm glad that you think so! Thanks for the review!**

**Damian 2.0: Oooh, thank you so much!**

**yin vs yang: Thanks for the review!**

**Anonymous person (): I know! I loved Sirius! He was my favorite character and I now I'm praying that she brings him back, though I know it is so very unlikely...oh well. Thanks for the review though!**

**Skye: Well here you go m'dear! Does he live or die! Dum dum dummm! Lol.**

**Inuyasha'swife15: Yeah, I thought that was pretty dang cowardly too.**

**ZeRO: Please, please don't think that I was annoyed. Your review was polite and helpful. The person that irritated me the most was of course, an anonymous review and they were just simply rude about it. I did not mean to come off as sounding annoyed with my comment and I'm sorry if you took it that way! I really am! Like I said, you were nice and polite and offered a nice bit of info on the Japanese language. Also, thank you for the awesome review! I love ones that are long like that:P**

**Mmoirai: Isn't emotional tension wonderful? Lol. Thanks for the review.**

**rosesbleedto: Thanks for another gold star m'dear. Yes, I wasn't too sure if I was happy or not that Harry kissed Ginny. I mean, I like Ginny but...idk. And Ron and Hermione, aren't they cute? **

**Yuki Asao: Aww thank you!**

**BrucesGirl: Thanks for such a nice and long review, I love reviews like that! And I will make time to read your story, I always do when reviewers ask me to. So once I get an ounce of time, I will read it:P**

**HawkAngel XD: Thank you! And thanks for the review!**

**Lov ya 4 eva: Heck yeah they're awesome! Lol. Thanks for the review!**

**sphinx: Hmm, we'll just have to wait and see, won't we? Lol, thanks for the review!**

**Cassie1: You know, I've actually heard that one b/c a few years ago, when I was reading DBZ fanfiction, and I would read fics of one of my favorite couples, Bulma/Vegeta, the writers always said "Aishiteru" when their characters were talking, so that's one tiny thing in Japanese I know, and I just decided, what the heck, this lady's name will be Ai. Lol.**

**Chapter Eleven**

**As It All Comes Falling Down**

**>**

Sesshomaru's eyes held the old man's for quite some time. His grasp upon the Toukijin tighter than ever. He could hear nothing but his own heartbeat and the man before him, panting.

'Rin! His daughter? Is this the man who took Rin in?'

His mind was buzzing as his eyes searched the old man's face. Though it were a low blow, it had worked. Sesshomaru had been totally caught off guard for this one.

Kisho stared up at the vicious youkai, his ears ringing in the deafening silence.

'So he is the one. He's the infamous Lord Sesshomaru, not the evil creature, but the one Rin adores...I knew it.'

"She's only seventeen and...and without a father she'll be so alone. And to know that a man such as yourself, that...that she holds in such high regard has murdered her father, she'll be devastated!" continued Kisho suddenly, searching his mind for anything that could keep him alive longer.

Sesshomaru felt his heart racing quicker than ever. She had spoken of him to this mortal? She had spoken of him to other people? And...and she held him in 'high regard'?

Sesshomaru gripped the Toukijin and rose it high once again.

He frowned deeply and growled low in his throat.

"How do you know this!" was all he could think of to reply, though it did little to satisfy the billions of questions circling about his mind.

Kisho rose a bit higher on his knees, though he flinched as Sesshomaru lifted his sword a few inches higher to let the man know he was still in charge. He licked his dry, chapped lips, tasting both blood and dirt.

He could hear his men about him, moaning and groaning as they tried desperately to move away from Sesshomaru.

They needed to go home. They needed to see their wives and children. Most of them had not even been given the chance to find a wife.

He needed to be honest with this youkai or he would surely die.

"Letters," he finally whispered.

"My wife writes me nearly every week. She mentioned you for the first time in years two weeks ago. She said, th-that you had come to see our Rin."

Sesshomaru simply replied flatly, "Everyone across your pathetic land has already heard of this. Every mortal I know is a gossip. You could be easily lying."

Kisho waved his hands quickly. "No, no! She also spoke of how Rin's attitude has changed since you left!"

Sesshomaru quirked a brow in curiosity. 'So she too has been affected by my absence?'

"How so?" Sesshomaru asked cooly, despite the unbridled hope swelling in the depths of his cold heart. He wanted nothing more than to swing quickly and turn away without a second thought.

Before he met Rin, he could have easily done it. Without her angelic voice and innocent face within his mind, he could have killed mercilessly. Now, knowing that this man's death would effect her, hurt her even, it kept him from swinging. He knew, despite how hard his pride was arguing it, that he would not kill this man.

Kisho gulped, blinking rapidly.

"She's lost her appetite, and she cries when no one is around. And...and she does not smile unless, unless someone tries to make her smile and even, e-even then Adzumi said it was fake. She has also been rumored to call out your name in her sleep. I have the letters on my saddle, if you wish me to fetch th-"

Sesshomaru stared solemnly, though inside his emotions were spinning and swirling faster than ever. She sounded as if she were..._heartbroken_.

As Kisho tried to speak once again, Sesshomaru rose a hand up and lowered his sword. "She is engaged to a mortal man. She _loves _him. Why would she be so upset over my leave?" he spat quietly, trying to keep his tone level.

Sesshomaru watched as the man searched and searched for an answer, but he soon looked up hopelessly and sighed.

He finally replied in a strong tone, "I do not know, youkai. To be honest, she's never truly declared her love for the boy as he has her. Perhaps she only likes him...I don't really know. In the beginning, it was supposed to be an arranged marriage, to unite our small villages into one great one. However," he continued, "Roiyaru fell for Rin and asked for her hand in marriage. So, thinking that Rin liked him equally, I gave my permission. Before two weeks ago, she was willing to marry him."

Sesshomaru spoke not a word as he registered this new information.

Kisho shrugged loosely though, and replied, "But that is neither here nor there, for it happened a few months ago. All that I know now is that before you came back, my daughter was a carefree and happy girl. Now...now she sounds as if she is dying, killing herself. You must have done something to her-"

Sesshomaru lunged forward quicker than lightning and gripped the man by the collar tightly.

"I did nothing to her!" he snarled viciously, fangs barred and eyes ablaze.

Kisho stared at him as bravely as he could, curling his upper lip in fear..

He now understood.

It made so much sense to him, now that the youkai was acting so differently. Though he were most definitely aristocratic and articulate compared to others of his kind, he had something no other demon Kisho had ever heard of had.

Emotions.

He was obviously in love with Rin.

And now, with this last puzzle piece in place, Kisho realized that his daughter had also fallen for the youkai. Lady Adzumi had never stated it clearly, but her clues had always hinted that their adopted daughter had changed. No longer innocent to the emotions of adults, she was in love and now heartbroken because he, Sesshomaru, had left her to a marriage she did not want.

So he said not a word, but he simply stood there when Sesshomaru finally set him back down.

Sesshomaru turned away from Kisho, his golden eyes catching the afternoon sunlight, turning them almost a dark orange.

She couldn't be doing this. She was smarter than this, to starve herself! And crying? Rin rarely ever cried! Sesshomaru could count on one hand, in fact; how many times he had seen her cried.

And calling out his name in the night?

It meant that she too, dreamt of him as he did her.

'No, Rin would never imagine such things as I. She's still so young, isn't she?' his inner self argued. 'She is seventeen.'

Kisho watched as the youkai turned from him.

He had struck, yet another nerve with the youkai and just as Kisho began to try and analyze this rare creature, Sesshomaru thrust his sword back at Kisho, just an inch from the man's throat.

Sesshomaru stared at him angrily for a few, everlasting moments. His eyes switched from each of Kisho's before he finally spoke in a forced, stern tone.

"If I find that your words are false old man, I promise you that I shall have no regret in hunting down and slaying you, your men and anyone who is, in anyway, attached to you. Do you understand?"

Kisho tilted his head back slightly as Sesshomaru pressed the wickedly sharp tip of the sword against his throat. He felt it prick his skin, stinging and searing as the wind hit the new, tiny wound.

"My words are true youkai...but by the time you find out their sincerity, it may be too late."

Sesshomaru rose his head slightly in question.

Kisho licked his lips once again.

"Rin marries in less than two weeks. Should you take too long, she will be a married woman by the time you reach her."

Sesshomaru let out a small snarl before he turned on his heel, sheathing Toukijin, before glancing to the creepily quiet Jaken.

He said not a word, but took off as a white light once again, heading back towards the northeast, retracing his steps.

**>**

Rin stepped out of her garden after another hour or so of seclusion.

Inside, her family was buzzing and bumbling about with the wedding plans. She had said her part when needed and now found that she had nothing to do, but simply wait. It was only nine days away.

She let out a soft sigh, Lord Kisho's last letter in her hand. It had been written four days ago and mentioned only that they were almost done with the west and would soon return home. She almost felt as if the worst was over now. That perhaps, by some chance, Sesshomaru had lost the humans. If he hadn't, he would have found them long ago...wouldn't he?

"Lady Rin!" came an exasperated cry, the once voice that always interrupted her thoughts.

Rin raced around the building to where she heard running footsteps. She could barely run thanks to the constrictions of her tight kimono, but made due and soon found young Tokiko racing towards her as well. Concern was evident amongst her bright, wide eyes.

"M'lady, I must speak with you privately!"

**>**

The letter had come just a few days ago, and he had only been home minutes before a servant from Lord Kisho's village had come racing towards him, waving a letter madly. "M'lord, m'lord!" he had called out.

"A letter from Lady Saeko, eldest daughter of Lord Kisho! She says that it is urgent that you read it immediately!"

Roiyaru had taken the letter with little thought, thinking it were only plans of the wedding. Perhaps a change on the time or something.

It was most certainly not plans for the wedding.

Roiyaru stared at the letter with wide eyes, now three days later.

His hands shook, and his heart was hammering within his chest as it broke.

Were these words true?

Did her sisters write in pure honesty or resentful lies?

He had not even thought of reading the letter until only minutes ago, and now he understood its urgency.

"Roiyaru? What's wrong, dear?" came his mother's voice.

He turned to her and handed her the letter before he rose up.

He knew all too well what it said, for he had read it over and over again, praying that he had misread parts of it. And yet, he had read it correctly each time. The words were branded in his memory and he could do nothing to remove them.

As his mother began to read it aloud, he raced outside to the stables.

The woman's eyes swept over the letter slowly, murmuring the words quietly to herself:

_Lord Roiyaru,_

_It is only in the interest of yours and my beloved younger sister, Rin's welfare, that I write you this. I hope that your health and fortune are well. I also pray that your family is well and thriving. I must also congratulate you upon the engagement of my dear sister for at least, the hundredth time, but I must not delay in delivering my bad news. _

_Just last night, as I lay awake reading, I heard Rin whimpering out for that evil, vile youkai, Sesshomaru. She was calling out to him as, dare I say, a lover would. And though I know this seems very unlikely of our dear, innocent Rin, it is not the first time she has called out to him. Just a few nights ago, my youngest sister, Ami, claims to have heard her calling out to him in her sleep. _

_She has become so thin and weak ever since that youkai left, that it seems she may have loved him, and I am very concerned for her health. Perhaps a wedding is not the best of ideas right now, with her condition being so feeble. I do not know if her condition is so frail because of that youkai or of any other ailments, but I honestly think that it is because she is in love with him. There is also the possibility that she was bewitched somehow by that evil, cruel man, but the doctor and I find it unlikely._

_I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I found it most difficult to hide such information from such a good man as yourself and my other, most wise twin sister, Namiko, insisted that it would be most beneficial to both you and Rin if I bring this serious issue out into the open. _

_Sincerely,_

_Lady Saeko, daughter of Lord Kisho_

**>**

Roiyaru quickly prepared himself to leave for the short long ride to Rin's village.

His thoughts were dizzying and he just barely heard the voice of a man, coming towards the stables.

"Lord Roiyaru!"

He turned and frowned, his handsome features faltering a moment. 'Not more bad news.'

He noticed the man wore Lord Kisho's colors, racing haphazardly towards him.

"Lord Roiyaru!" he called out, bowing quickly before the man's feet.

Roiyaru bent down, noting the traces of blood upon the man's body. "What? What is it?"

The man drank in a gulp of air before he spoke.

"Lord...Lord Kisho...his men are badly injured...need your help!" he rasped out.

Roiyaru knew of Lord Kisho well. He was an honest man, and though his heart cried out to run to Rin, he knew that his love for her would be nothing if she found out he had done nothing to help her injured father.

Roiyaru turned to his horse and mounted. "Where are they?"

The messenger rose up and turned, red faced and tired, to Roiyaru. "In the Western Lands, making their way home! I do not know how long they will make it!"

Roiyaru nodded and without a word to his mother as she raced outside, he took off towards the west.

He glanced over his shoulder and called out to a puzzled looking stable boy. "Send ten men with me!" he called out.

**>**

"She told him that I loved him!" cried out Rin, her face growing paler and paler by the minute as panic coursed through her.

Tokiko nodded. "Yes, m'lady. I spoke with the woman who wrote Lady Saeko's words. Though I know it is not right to speak of words like these, when taken in confidentiality, but I thought that you must know, m'lady. Lord Roiyaru must surely know by now!"

Rin had heard all she needed and turned on her heel as anger and dread spread over her. Though she would now, not deny her feelings for Lord Sesshomaru, considering that her engagement may be crumbling, she could not believe how Saeko had acted!

How dare she!

She and Rin had grown up together! They had loved one another!

Or at least Rin had loved her...perhaps Saeko had never gotten over her jealousy as the others had.

"Mother!" she suddenly called out into the busy mansion.

Servants glanced at her with wide eyes. Never did the so gentle and soft spoken Lady Rin yell in doors. Actually, she never raised her voice at all.

Rin rushed upstairs, ignoring all the whispers around her as she soon found her mother, speaking with a short fat man.

Lady Adzumi's welcoming smile fell as soon as she saw Rin's expression.

"Whatever is the matter Rin?"

Rin let out a small sigh before she explained how her sister had betrayed her, even if Rin had confided in no one of her secret feelings. She told her of how Saeko had told Roiyaru that she was in love with Sesshomaru and was now supposedly starving herself because of it.

She didn't care about the fuel she giving to the gossips around her. She was beyond the point of caring anymore.

And then she, as she finished, she watched her mother for a reaction, which she found none.

Lady Adzumi simply dismissed all the people around her and led Rin to her room. Then finally when in privacy, she asked Rin quite blatantly, "Do you love him, Rin?"

Rin looked up, her eyes wide.

"Roiyaru?"

Lady Adzumi cocked her head to the side and smiled dryly, her eyes keenly staring into Rin's.

"No. Sesshomaru, Rin. Do you love Sesshomaru?"

Rin knew not whether to answer honestly or lie. So she unconsciously cowered under the woman's strong gaze.

>

**A/n: Okay, so, everybody's in a little dilemma, huh? I hope ya'll liked this chapter. I thought of it just when I woke up this morning and decided that I just had to write it! I'm not sure if the next update will be as soon as this one was. I doubt it b/c I've got a ton of crap coming up, so it may not be until the weekend when I can update. See ya!**


	12. If I Ever Loose My Faith In You

**With Or Without You**

**A/n: Hi guys! I'm back! Yay! Well the excuse this time, yeah I know 'Just another excuse!'...but this one is legitimate, as have all the others been. I'm gonna let you guys in on a little personal detail. I was in a car accident last Wednesday and totaled my beloved black Jeep. I killed him...:cries: Thank the Lord above I only received a concussion and horribly bruised left ear and hurt my neck a little bit. I am so very, very lucky. Also, I was wearing my seat belt! So, I was obviously delayed in writing, BUT I'm back with a new chapter full of angst and emotions and totally ready to get this story finished. This chappie's just another one of everybody's thoughts on what's goin' on, a lil boring, but the next chapter is going to be full of a confrontation and other stuff that ya'll love.**

**Oh, and I'm so happy to have received so many reviews saying that ya'll thought last chapter was the best ever. I loved that chapter too, so I'm very pleased to hear you guys did too:P**

**Chapter Twelve**

**If I Ever Loose My Faith In You**

**>**

Night was his cover, though he could care less whether or not he was seen.

A silvery white streak that zoomed past like a fast burst of air, he was covering ground far quicker than he had been before.

A new need, far greater than any others before was pushing him.

He had to stop her from hurting herself so. Rin was so much smarter than to be starving herself because of some man, much less himself. He couldn't comprehend it still, that she were this devastated over his leave.

There was also though, the possibility that the old mortal had been lying just to escape death.

Sesshomaru doubted it.

Though he thought it cowardly to use Rin as an excuse to live, he did not believe that some random man would think of Rin to lie about.

And inside, Sesshomaru wondered if this were just the final push that had set him back, returning to her once again.

He never regretted any of his decisions, ever.

Every thought, every emotion that had run through him had been centered or sprouted from her. She was haunting him and the only way he knew, to kill this thirst, was to get to the root of it.

If he could go and confirm that she did not have any emotions for him, which he hoped, then he could go on, living just fine. He could leave her and he would never allow himself to dwell upon her ever again. He could let her live that boring life she would want, with dozens of plump children and her plump, cheating husband.

It was what she would want, wasn't it?

Why else would she have accepted the proposal?

Even her father had not known the answer.

And this, and so many other thoughts troubled him so.

Sesshomaru frowned.

She was an obsession, that in a few days, would be gone for forever.

The thought both made his pride sing and his heart scream.

Though he had many other excuses, it all came down to an answer that was never good enough.

He couldn't explain what it was that was pushing him to run to her.

Was it the fact that his curiosity was perked and he needed to quench this insatiable hope that perhaps, just maybe, she were thinking of him?

Why should he worry about her?

He had finally gotten rid of her as he had always wanted.

At least, he always thought he wanted to rid himself of her.

Right?

He didn't want to answer himself. He just wanted to blank out any other thoughts and just go.

But his pride and heart would not let him

Each were battling one another within him and he felt like his brother. He felt weak, pathetic. He was allowing her in, whether or not his ego would bend a bit to admit it.

His stomach felt sick, and his chest tight. It was so new to him. Never had he felt like this. What were these feelings, damn it?

**>**

Roiyaru sat amongst his men, surrounding a small fire as they spoke solemnly to one another. Roiyaru remained silent. He simply ate the small bowl of rice and stared into the flickering flames before him.

They captivated his attention, and gave his mind room to wander.

He began to think of the only thing he was capable of thinking of at the moment.

Rin.

He took a small bite of rice as the men's spirits began to rise as the sake was passed about them. He knew they needed something to warm their spirits after riding three days straight. They were now on a secret mountain pass that few knew of. This would get them to Kisho at least three days sooner.

Yet his thoughts were not centered at the moment on their route.

Hadn't Rin always seemed to adore him as much as he her?

Didn't she always pass him those flirtatious smiles, whisper so delicately that he had to lean close to hear her. She couldn't have possibly done it just to toy with him. She wasn't that kind of girl.

Was she?

Roiyaru frowned slightly as new, angrier thoughts began to drift into his heart and mind.

What if she were just toying with him?

Was she just a deceitful little nymph that had tricked him into loving her for the sake of her father's profit?

How dare she!

He could have any woman he wanted and he had chosen her! What a waste.

And as he tried to become angry with her and hate her, he realized, deep down inside that he knew, without a doubt, that it was...

It was completely...and totally...

...untrue...

Rin was a sweet, virtuous girl who he had never seen ever intend anyone harm. She had always been that shy beauty who had stolen his heart without even trying.

He knew that it was actually the fact that he had lost her to some older youkai that angered him so.

That was who he knew his anger should be centered upon, not his beloved Rin.

She was the victim to some creature who had found a beauty and wished to have her for his own.

He was so much older than her.

Hell, he was practically her father and she was just confused.

That was all, she was just a young girl who was simply confused.

Roiyaru let out a small snarl.

The men around him silenced as they saw him rise up suddenly, dropping his bowl of rice carelessly.

He began to gather his things. "Get ready, we're leaving."

**>**

"Answer me, Rin," came the stern, yet quiet command of her mother.

Rin blinked back the tears as both shame and fear swept through her.

What would Lady Adzumi think if she knew the truth?

Would she be angry with Rin?

Rin bit her lower lip and looked up.

With a heavy heart and a lump the size of an apple in her throat, she gave a small nod.

"Yes...yes, with all my heart Mother...I love him."

Lady Adzumi's eyes remained unwavering as she spoke once again.

"And what about Lord Roiyaru?"

Rin sniffled slightly, the tears now spilling freely down her flush cheeks.

"No," she whimpered. "No, I may have once. But not anymore and never again."

Rin then fell to her knees, crying softly in her delicate hands. "I'm a bad person, aren't I?" she murmured quietly into her palms in between cries.

Lady Adzumi crouched down beside her daughter and took her hands in her own. She then set Rin's hands down in her lap and then wiped away the big, fat tears cascading down her baby soft cheeks.

She stared at the girl's big, brown eyes so full of pain and guilt. She could feel her own heart crying for the child, just as it had ten years ago when Rin came in crying softly about the same man.

"Rin, you've done nothing wrong. In fact, you are much braver then most women. You've allowed yourself to accept these feelings. I envy you child, and I also pity you for I too, have been in this position."

Rin wiped away her eyes, now blinking back with hopeful eyes.

"You have?"

Lady Adzumi nodded.

"I too, loved another man besides Kisho. He was a devilishly handsome, wild man that was so very poor. I loved him more than anything. Yet I chose to go with what my family wished, and I ended up breaking not one, but two hearts in the end. My own and his."

Rin gulped, shaking her head as a frown passed over her face. "But, then are you suggesting I break the engagement?"

Lady Adzumi turned her head to the side slightly and grinned.

"I'm suggesting nothing. I am only telling you that if you make the wrong decision, child, you cannot take it back. These two men are far too proud."

Rin rose up and shook her head quickly, her long mane waving softly against her shoulders. Something clicked within her mind suddenly, breaking through to her stubborn heart.

"No, I can't. I can't break off the engagement," she stated softly, as she began to pace the room, wringing her hands roughly together.

"Lord Sesshomaru is long gone. He does not love me...how could he? I'm just some silly little human girl."

She let out a wild laugh, startling Lady Adzumi by her 180 degree change of emotions.

"How stupid was I to believe that I had a chance?"

She turned to Lady Adzumi and another laugh escaped her throat. "He hates humans! Despises them! And here I was, honestly believing that there was room for me in his heart."

Rin then whispered gently, "There is no room for anyone in his heart besides his greed for power. I'm nothing but a stupid little girl...I'm just a child compared to him."

Lady Adzumi stormed over to Rin, grabbing her shoulders roughly. Her dark eyes flashed with anger as she tried her hardest to figure out what she had said to make this girl go so suddenly stupid.

"What brought this sudden change of heart upon? A moment ago you were telling me how you loved him, and now-?"

"First of all Mother, it was more of a revelation, not a change of heart. I still love him dearly, and will always. But I have just realized that there is no hope for me."

She shrugged off her mother's hands and moved towards the door. "He doesn't love me. I've just been too naive to see it."

She smiled ironically sweet to her mother and bowed lowly. "Thank you Mother, for helping me see this."

She then turned and left.

Lady Adzumi knew not what to say.

**>**

Jaken huffed and puffed, wheezing loudly as he leaned against his ancient staff for support.

He was getting too damn old for this.

He looked up to the small mountain where he knew his master was far past.

He had traveled all across these lands for so many years now, that he could get anywhere without the need to think of it. It was an instinct. He knew where every territory ended, where each new region began and he knew where his master always traveled.

So he easily knew the way back to Rin's village.

And he knew without any need to hear it from Lord Sesshomaru, that _that _was where his lord was headed.

It took not a genius to know that his heart had fallen prey, just as his father's had and as his brother's. He was under the spell of a mortal woman.

What was it that they had that no other females had?

Female youkai could easily conjure up a spell that could lure potential mates into their beds. They knew how to seduce male youkai far better than any human did, and yet, three youkai had fall for human women.

Jaken frowned, wading through a shallow stream, it's low temperatures calming his sore feet.

Was it their innocence, that purity that captivated demons?

Or was it their frailty and delicateness, the capability of dying so easily.

"That's lunacy!" Jaken exclaimed aloud, not liking the thought of it at all.

He had always thought his master and he would be the only two. He had never imagined that it would be a woman that would separate them. Jaken had always thought death would push them apart before a human woman would.

In all his years of following Sesshomaru, never did he bat an eye at any females. Even as some of the most gorgeous, seductive youkai had practically thrown themselves on him, Sesshomaru had simply pretended not to care. What did Rin have that the others didn't?

"Nothing, absolutely nothing," Jaken grumbled to himself, stepping onto the moist earth of the stream's banking. Evening was settling about him and he knew soon he would need to rest.

Perhaps he was only a day behind his lord.

Maybe two.

He squinted against the dying light and sighed.

Though Rin were so very, very beautiful, she wasn't anything that seemed much different from Inuyasha's wench. Actually, all mortal women seemed the same to Jaken. Dark hair, dark eyes, ivory skin. The same everywhere.

And it was just simply his jealousy that kept him from truly liking Rin.

She was the one thing between him and his master.

Now, Jaken was, by no means, in love with Sesshomaru.

He just admired his master so very much, that it was more of fan loving a famous celebrity type of emotion.

Jaken found a nice, mossy spot and settled down upon it.

He was tired, dirty and hungry. He would stop for now and resume his march in the morning.

With a long, wide yawn, he simply fell asleep against the soft earth.

**>**

Rin fled to her garden, tears pouring down her angelic face. She found no place for herself in that mansion anymore.

Saeko had betrayed her and Lady Adzumi only dreamed childish fantasies.

Did she not think Rin had considered marrying Sesshomaru? Not even marrying, just running away with him!

Of course she had played, indulged in the romantic fantasy, but now her mind had finally won over and gotten through her foggy, love drunken thoughts to her heart.

She had been so full of this new emotion that she had not taken the time to actually remember that Sesshomaru had left her alone with words that left nothing to hint his feelings for her.

She was just an old responsibility that he was checking up on. Once he saw she was doing okay, he had turned and left. One less thing for him to worry about.

Rin sat down beside her friend, her stone bench and slowly laid her head upon it.

Now that Roiyaru knew she loved Sesshomaru, he may call off the engagement and any small flicker of chance that she just may find happiness would disappear. She would then loose both Sesshomaru and Roiyaru.

Rin simply lay there, her eyes closed as the tears fell silently. She was so sick of crying that she had no energy left to whimper or cry out. She just sat there, her shoulders trembling occasionally as she kept her face hidden from the world.

Though Sesshomaru had saved her life, it was only because if she were alive and well, he could leave without guilt. Had she died, perhaps he would have had flicker of heartache.

'I doubt it,' her thoughts spat.

The evening's breezes tickled and played at her, but she refused to admire the nice weather. She found nothing beautiful at that moment. She despised everything and everyone, and in turn, hated herself for feeling so.

**>**

**A/n: Ah, like I said, full of angst, thoughts. I know, Rin's totally freaking out on us, Roiyaru's getting all pissy at Sesshomaru and the only one acting like we want him to (well sorta) is the most unlikely of them all! Lol, well I was watching the movie Closer, which I really liked, and I think it kind of fueled all these bitter emotions from our characters. Okay, enough from me. I hope you guys liked this chapter, kinda boring, I know. I hope it didn't seem to rushed...Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, as usual guys, they keep me going, honestly! See ya!**


	13. Masquerading With A Smile

**With Or Without You**

**A/n: Hello. Not much to say, but here is yet another chapter! Here's my comments to the last chapter's reviews too. Enjoy!**

**Nilee: No m'dear, I'm afraid he still hasn't! Lol.**

**heymary: Don't worry, everything will work out in the end...eventually. Lol.**

**Inuyasha'swife15: Don't even worry about it darlin! Mothers all tend to be that way occasionally. I'm glad you liked the chappie and I hope you like this one, I have a feeling you might!**

**DarkHanyouHeart: (squeaks) I'm so happy to hear that you've added this to your favorites! Thank you so, so, so much! (squeaks) I too love sappy love stories! Lol. ;P**

**sphinx: Well this is what will happen m'dear. :D**

**The Kaizeress: Why yes, there is! Soon! Thanks for the review! **

**Yuki Asao: Here is the next chappie dear! Thanks for reviewing!**

**SweetyPieRin: Oh I'm so happy you love my story so much! I really, really am! And I think your pen name is just so cute, I love it! Lol.**

**HawkAngel XD: Hope you like this one too!**

**aferdeity: Yes, we all love the angst! Lol. Yes, I have promised quite awhile ago that there WILL be a lemon, just not in this chapter. As for his arm...I'm not sure how I could work that one out, lol, but I'll try and think of a way! **

**ZeRO: Well at the end of this chapter it's five days till the wedding for everybody and Roiyaru and Sesshomaru are both about 3 or 4 days away from the village, so they'll be cutting it close...that is if they encounter no obstacles or distractions. And no, Roiyaru's never seen Sesshomaru, but they will run into each...soon.**

**Hieilover28: Oh thank you so much! No, I'm okay now and my car is still deceased, lol. I just saw the third movie last night and omg, I totally loved it. Yeah I know, it came out a bit ago, but I'm slow when it comes to getting my anime junk, lol. Thanks for the review and btw Hiei so definitely rocks, lol.**

**Skye: Well I'm sorry you had to wait so long. Yes, that chappie was sad and this one is if you like Roiyaru, but your kind of not supposed to SOO, it's not that sad. Lol.**

**Chranze: Yes, now it all starts coming together and I promise you that the lemon is not far away! Very close in fact! Thanks for the review!**

**Kalana Fox: I'm glad and sorry at the same time that you can relate with Rin. I'm glad that my writing was able to connect w/ you, but I'm sorry that you've lost so many people. Thank you for always faithfully reviewing dear, also! **

**Chapter Fourteen**

**Masquerading With A Smile**

**>**

Roiyaru stared over the rocky cliff, his eyes narrowing upon Kisho's wobbling army.

They were moving slowly up the mountain, but appeared to be much better off than he had presumed. They had found them so quickly that they must have been traveling constantly. He was impressed to say the least. He turned to his right hand man and ordered him to go and help them.

Roiyaru followed close behind, his eyes searching for Kisho.

When he came upon the men, they cheered and laughed, their eyes full of renewed faith. Up close, they were much worse. Bloody, bruised and battered, they appeared to have fought a tremendously powerful enemy.

Roiyaru patted a few acquaintances and sped through the men. They parted slowly for him, looking up to him with joyful smiles. Then there, in the center of them, was Kisho.

He was upon his horse, hunched over tiredly. A hand held his middle as his sleepy eyes found Roiyaru's and took a moment to focus, before a wry smile spread across his lips.

"Roiyaru, m'boy. What a wonder it is to see you," he whispered gruffly.

Roiyaru grinned broadly, bowing before the older man. "What happened, m'lord? Who did this to you?" he asked sternly, getting straight to the point. The sooner he helped these men, the sooner he could return to Rin.

A flicker of fear swept past Kisho's face before he soon recovered and grinned. "Just a youkai, that's all. We'll be fine," he replied lightly.

"Just a youkai? What kind of youkai? Did you defeat him?" Roiyaru asked quickly, his handsome features twisting into a frown of concern.

Kisho sighed heavily. "Just a youkai, Roiyaru. Do not worry about it." He glanced about his men and sighed again. "I suppose one of my men slipped away to warn you that we were 'dying'?" he asked gently.

Roiyaru nodded. "Yes, why? Was he not supposed to?"

Kisho shrugged, watching Roiyaru's men help the weakest of his.

"We were getting along just fine. In fact, I'm quite proud of how fast we are moving considering our conditions," he said with a weak smile.

Roiyaru studied the man, his eyes searching for a clue as to why he was being so secretive as to the identity of the demon who had done this.

With a gentle shrug, he turned back to Kisho.

"Come, let us eat before we head back home," he offered.

Roiyaru accepted with a lying smile.

**>**

Sesshomaru stepped silently into the cool river, his muscles involuntarily tensing as the low temperatures of the water caressed his bare skin. His tired body relished in the feel of fresh water against it.

It was late at night. The skies above him were bright and clear, just as they had been in his dreams. He could feel his pulse quicken at the mere thought of them.

'Why does she do this to me? She's just another wench, isn't she?'

He looked up to night sky above him, closing his eyes slowly as he finally began to allow darker, deeper thoughts of Rin to swirl about his mind.

He had to admit that he missed her. He missed her warm laughter more than ever. And finally her gentle scent had worn off of his clothing, leaving him with only the scent of himself. He could see her big brown eyes, so full of emotion. He still envied her secretly. He couldn't allow himself such a weakness, yet she expressed nearly every emotion proudly.

With a miserable sigh, he dipped lower into the water as he began to bathe himself.

It was getting late, and soon he would resume his pursuit of her village.

**>**

Rin awoke with a headache that next morning.

She moved about that morning as if she were in a daze, not really there, but not gone either. She greeted each of her siblings with kindness, including Saeko who was quite disturbed by it.

She kissed her mother's cheek when she arrived for breakfast, and even spoke lightly with everyone about the beautiful weather. Though she were still so very pale and gaunt, her spirit seemed to be renewed.

But it wasn't.

Inside she was aching, yet she refused to pout over the loss of Sesshomaru anymore. Her new life was permanent, or it appeared to be. There was no point in thinking about it over and over again. She refused to die of a broken heart for him, when it had been he, Sesshomaru, who had given her a second chance at life years ago.

"You seem to have finally realized you're getting married soon, m'lady!" giggled Tokiko later that morning.

Rin forced a soft grin and nodded. "Yes, I believe it has only hit me recently that I am actually going to get married."

Tokiko nodded, happily brushing Rin's thick hair, while humming softly as her mistress seemed to be herself once again. Everyone was breathing a little easier now that she was bright and friendly again. She had put them all through a small scare. Some blamed it on her head injury, others on a spell from Sesshomaru.

Tokiko knew her mistress well and knew that she had missed the attractive youkai more than she allowed to show. To Tokiko, it was obvious. However, some were not as observant as she, so they tried to come up with their own outlandish excuses.

Rin stared at her reflection in the mirror with that fake grin still spreading across her lips. She blinked a few times, refusing to cry. Her eyes became glossy and her cheeks flushed, but the smile remained.

'It doesn't even look like me,' she thought bitterly, watching herself as she spoke with Tokiko about Lord Kisho's soon return.

She felt as if a mask had been seared into her skin, forcing her to parade around as some doll. Inside, she felt hollow and empty. No longer did she have a secret hope for someone to rescue her from this boring life. It was gone.

Reality had slapped her viciously in the face, forcing her to awake from such a wonderful, security of a dream. She was no longer wondering about with a soft smile that held a sweet secret. Her secret had been exposed by her step-sister, forcing her to soon, bare it before Roiyaru.

Despite the terrible position she was in, she was not that worried about Roiyaru confronting her about her feelings for Sesshomaru. In fact, she was almost anticipating it. It would be exciting. A little drama right now would be nice to get her mind off of Sesshomaru.

Rin frowned visibly, casting her eyes downward as she felt that vile lump of guilt within her.

'I'm going to enjoy hurting Roiyaru?' she thought bitterly. 'He's been so sincere, so loving, and I'm excited about telling him that I love another man. I'm just as malicious as Lord Sesshomaru!'

Rin felt her lower lip quivering and she closed her eyes to battle against her guilty heart.

"M'lady, have I hurt you?" asked Tokiko quickly, pulling the brush far from Rin's head.

Rin's eyes snapped open and she laughed gently. "Oh no...I'm just so happy that my father will be here in time for my wedding, that's all. I'm so relieved that he's okay," she lied, gritting her teeth in an unbearably fake smile.

Tokiko bought it and nodded, relief washing over her plain face. "Oh yes, we are all relieved that Lord Kisho will return soon. In fact, I heard some of the messenger boys say that it may be either two or three days for when he returns."

Rin smiled sheepishly with a nod. "Five days."

Tokiko frowned. "What was that m'lady?"

Rin looked up to the girl and continued to smile. "Five days and I will be a married woman." She then asked softly, "Have you heard when Roiyaru will be back?"

Tokiko thought a moment and sighed. "The last I heard, he had just met up with your father, so I'm sure he will return at the same time. Don't you think?"

Rin turned back to the mirror as Tokiko resumed brushing her hair.

"Yes," she whispered, her smile faltering. "I'm sure he'll accompany Father back. He's a good man. He won't let anything happen to my father."

Tokiko nodded. "Yes, Lord Roiyaru is a fine man. You are very lucky to have him, Lady Rin."

Rin did not reply, but simply began to fiddle with a hair pin lying in her lap. She could not bare to look at the lying girl in the mirror, for tears would definitely sprout from her eyes if she did.

**>**

Roiyaru studied Kisho from across the fire as he sipped his tea, his dark eyes searching for the lie he knew was hidden underneath the rawhide skin of the large man. Kisho was continuously avoiding his gaze, but simply eating away at his food.

After nearly an hour of this, Roiyaru became fed up with it and moved to sit right next to Kisho so that no others would hear his words.

"Lord Kisho, I must beg you to tell me what happened to you and your men. It was no mere youkai that did this to you. I am no fool," he whispered quickly, his eyes piercing against his soon to be father-in-law. Kisho took a final swig of his sake and turned to Roiyaru.

"You are young and hot headed, Roiyaru. Should I tell you, you would race off and get yourself killed. So why should I bother? I cannot have my daughter's future husband dying before she can even marry him," he answered finally.

Roiyaru looked as if he had been slapped. No one ever spoke like that to him.

"What? I am not some hotheaded youth, m'lord. I am the son of a very wealthy lord and your most favored daughter's fiancee! Why are speaking like this to me?" he asked, his voice sounding more whiney than angry.

Kisho cut his eyes towards Roiyaru. "I will not doubt your intelligence, but your feelings for my daughter have dulled your common sense and fueled your stupidity. Like I said, should I tell you who did this, you will leave in a mad fit."

Roiyaru shook his head. He couldn't believe this! Though he knew he had changed since he had fallen for Rin, never had he acted like a fool before. He had always been sensible and mature. Who was it that would make him go into a fit of rage like Kisho suggested?

And then, as he looked at the man, he realized it.

"Sesshomaru."

The name fell off his lips as if he had been punched in the gut.

Kisho slowly closed his eyes and let out a long sigh.

Roiyaru felt a hot flash of anger sweep over him despite how he wished to prove Kisho wrong.

"Sesshomaru did this didn't he? That bastard who has bewitched Rin?" he asked viciously, his tone still low, thought a few men nearby noticed his sudden change of mood.

Kisho turned to him, eyes blazing with mixed emotions as he tried to keep his voice just as low.

"Rin is no love hungry wench, Roiyaru. She has set her heart upon this youkai, and though I do not wish nor condone it, she loves him."

Kisho turned to face Roiyaru fully, who had was now flushed with both anger and embarrassment.

"Boy, I did not wish for you to find out this way, but you would have made a fool of yourself had no one told you. The marriage would have been a lie and my daughter miserable for as long as she was with you."

Roiyaru slowly pulled out the small letter from Saeko and handed it to Kisho with a shaky hand. It's edges were worn and ripped from being re-read millions of times on the way while searching for Kisho.

The old man read over it only once before he handed it back to Roiyaru. "So you knew?"

Roiyaru shrugged numbly, hating to have heard it from two separate parties that the love of his life were in love with a dangerous, blood thirsty demon.

"I had an idea, but I thought that perhaps it were only a sister's jealousy."

Kisho chuckled gently, causing Roiyaru to grow even angrier.

"Saeko was always the jealous one, that's for sure. Her and Namiko."

Roiyaru did not hear these words, for he rose up and raced over to his horse. This had to be settled and the only one could who give him that final ounce of proof was the woman herself.

**>**

The morning sun blazed overhead as he walked amongst the glossy fields, leading to Rin's village. In perhaps a day, he would make it there. His golden eyes, matching the heated sun's hue, were simply sweeping over the landscape idly.

He had traveled all across Japan countless times that though it were more than beautiful, nothing amazed him anymore. Perhaps it were a curse that the immortal carried. All things beautiful would loose their value in time, for he would grow tired of them.

It were a sickening thought that suddenly disturbed Sesshomaru.

If all things lost their appeal for him in time, would Rin be the same?

She were mortal and she would age. She would grow old and decay, while he would stay perfect and youthful. Were this all worth a few years of happiness, only to loose her to something he was incapable of stopping?

Death could be prevented easily. He could protect her from anything. Illness could be easily undone with a sword he once thought useless. However, were she to die an old woman, he could not bring her back.

Her time would be over and she would be ready to die after living a full life. Sesshomaru scowled. He did not like the thought of her being able to die happy, her life's thirst satisfied while he had to continue on alone. It were selfish, but the truth.

'Jaken will be there,' his subconscious mused dryly.

Despite the dark, sad side of this, something within him cried out. It was quiet and he tried his damndest to ignore it. A voice within yelled out that though they would be only a few years in Sesshomaru's eyes, wouldn't they be worth it?

Would he rather go on throughout life, never knowing the happiness that a woman's loving touch could bring? Would he prefer to go on alone, always regretting that he left her to a life she would hate?

His steps became slower as his thoughts grew deeper.

Years ago, he had subconsciously made a silent vow to always protect Rin, to keep her happy in anyway. Would he break this personal promise to preserve himself?

He stopped dead in his tracks.

Not because of the question at hand, but because of the distinct scent that had just swept past him.

He strained his ears to hear any sound, but heard nothing.

'He must be a few miles away.'

Sesshomaru sniffed the air again and caught wind of the scent again.

In a flash, he took off towards its origin.

"What is Inuyasha doing here still?" he asked no one aloud.

He felt his blood pumping and his muscles tensing in anticipation of a fight.

'Five days,' whispered a voice within.

Sesshomaru ignored it.

He was fully aware of what little time he had left. He was close enough to the village to be able to defeat Inuyasha and be back in time to speak with her before she swore herself away to another man.

_There!_

In a clearing he sat with once again, his small family and that damn demon slayer and monk.

They were all talking loudly, the women laughing as the older of Inuyasha's boys chased about a pretty little girl of about two or three. Sesshomaru presumed that she were the monk and woman's offspring.

Sesshomaru snarled.

'Is everyone having damn children?'

Kagome was cooing softly once again to the babe in her arms as his golden eyes stared up to her lovingly. Sesshomaru watched as his half-brother leaned over and ruffled the boy's full head of ebony hair. Sesshomaru could only sneer. 'Pathetic.'

He watched as the other woman, the monk's mate, captured the giggling little girl in her arms and held her tightly in a warm embrace. The little girl pressed against her mother, her face free of worry or fear. It was a look Sesshomaru rarely saw upon children when he were near.

"Natsu almost got you didn't he?" she asked the child kindly.

The little girl nodded shyly, burying her face against her mother's chest.

Sesshomaru was not the sentimental type, so he found no warmth in these loving displays of affection.

He could always just go visit Rin and then deal with his brother afterwards. They were obviously busy with their mundane lives.

'No!' snapped his pride loudly within.

"...still alive? It's not shocking. I really didn't believe Sango when she told me."

Sesshomaru glanced to the monk.

"Well he was ready for a fight, that's for damn sure," muttered Inuyasha, glancing to his son a moment before looking back to Kagome.

She nodded quickly, ponytail bouncing. "Yes, but who can blame him? Inuyasha's been just as restless for a fight as Sesshomaru ever since Naraku died."

Miroku shrugged. "I understand. The demons that do occasionally resurface are hardly worth calling demons. Sango could handle them all by herself if I let her," he confessed.

Sesshomaru was growing bored with watching these four and decided that perhaps he could attack the monk's new home just to stir things up a bit. He sounded just as bored as Sesshomaru and his brother.

Sesshomaru began to walk on, ignoring the urge to go after his brother when the winds suddenly changed direction.

Before Sesshomaru could realize it, Inuyasha was standing up with a scowl of determination upon his face.

"What the hell are you doing here Sesshomaru!" he yelled out loudly, unsheathing Tetsusaiga with one hand while pushing Natsu back towards Miroku with the other.

Sesshomaru let out a small sigh, but did not feel too upset about being caught. It wasn't like he was going to run away, explaining to his brother that he needed to go crash a mortal woman's wedding because he was in love with her.

'What! I don't love her.'

"I can't believe it," he heard Sango whisper as she scooped up her daughter, resting her on her curvy hip. The woman's eyes were wide with a hidden fear. She seemed much more ready to fight than Kagome had when he had first seen Inuyasha days ago.

Sesshomaru's eyes went to Miroku, who now stood with Inuyasha's brat at his side. He too, was alert and appeared somewhat intrigued.

Sesshomaru began to approach them, ignoring how Inuyasha snarled and bowed up.

Sesshomaru stood a few meters from the group, glancing about them with a disgusted look upon his face.

"So I see that my brother has not been the only one with more promiscuous plans as of late. Is it the new trend in your mortal world to have brats?" he asked snobbily.

Sango softly snorted and Sesshomaru wondered if he had struck a nerve with her.

He turned to her, but Miroku quickly stepped before her.

"Leave her alone, Sesshomaru. She is with child."

Sesshomaru cocked an ebony brow.

He had not noticed it from such a distant, but up close he could see the faint bulge of her stomach. She placed a hand on the soft swell of her belly, while holding the shy little girl in her other.

Sesshomaru looked back to Miroku. "I have no business with either of you."

He turned back to Inuyasha and faintly smirked. "I told you I would return to finish our little engagement earlier, didn't I?"

Inuyasha laughed. "I honestly doubted that you'd actually come back."

Sesshomaru suddenly charged. "That was your first mistake, little brother!"

**>**

**A/n: Well, I know I had a lot of Kisho and Roiyaru and they aren't even Inuyasha characters, and I'm sorry but I had to give Roiyaru a reason to be heading back to Rin. Next chappie will be a nice fight w/ Inuyasha and Fluffy, plus Roiyaru. So, I hope you guys liked this chapter. I promise that the ones after this are all gonna be ten times better, so just be patient. I promise to have this finished by December at the latest, okay? See ya:P**


	14. What Fools These Mortals Be!

**With Or Without You**

**A/n: Hello all! Well this chapter was, to put it bluntly, a bitch to write. I couldn't ever get a version of it I liked, and I'm still uneasy about this one, but I think that if I try and perfect it any more I'll just make a huge mess. SO! Here it is and review comments as well. Enjoy!**

**Nilee: No there isn't, but alas, our dear Sesshomaru is changing a bit thanks to Rin.**

**Mmoirai: Why thank you so much! I'm glad you love this story so much!**

**The Kaizeress: Yes, this fight isn't too dramatic b/c I think I kind of suck at fighting scenes, but I hope this one is okay!**

**Chranze: Yes, I think we all might want him dead...but I pity the poor guy too.**

**Kalana Fox: Lol, yes I am evil with cliffhangers and if you hate them...I'm afraid you might not like this chapter, lol.**

**ZeRO: M'dear, you read my mind with your review. That's pretty much EXACTLY what happens in this chapter!**

**Skye: Wow, thanks. I'm glad that Kisho and Roiyaru's conversation wasn't boring or anything. Thank you for the nice review!**

**Cassie1: Here you go, darling! Another chapter that I hope you like!**

**heymary: New chapter, I hope you like it. Thanks for the review!**

**HawkAngel XD: Thanks for your always faithful reviews, dear! Hope you like this chapter!**

**Angels Heart: Yes, he can be. He's kind of wising up in this chapter...sorta...lol.**

**rosesbleedto: Lol, don't worry, I wouldn't dream of killing precious Inuyasha. He's just a lil roadblock, that's all. I'm sorry it took so long to update! Hopefully my next will be shorter!**

**BrucesGirl: Thanks for your awesome review, and like I've said in my reviews to you, I just absolutely love your story and plan on reading more of it tonight! I envy your ability to be so very creative with new characters and how fluidly you can keep your plot going! You just simply rock, lol.**

**Darkshrinemaiden: Thanks for the review. You know, I didn't actually get to see the 3rd Inuyasha movie till like two or three weeks ago, so when I saw it, I was like "Wow...this is kind of like their relationship." So it's cool that someone else noticed that, and it's kind of ironic that Sesshomaru hated his daddy for that and now he's going through the same thing, lol.**

**SweetyPieRin: Lol, your review just made me laugh so much! I too thought the scene with everyone and their kiddies was cute too, lol. Yes, he is a lil pissed off. I hope you like this chappie!**

**Inuyasha'swife15: Well I'm sorry to hear that about your mom, but I hope that this will make you a lil bit happier, lol. Thanks for the review dear!**

**Sesshomaru's Bitch: OMG, what a flattering review! Thank you so, so much! Yes, the end is coming soon and I promise it will be good. **

**Chapter Fourteen**

**What Fools These Mortals Be!**

**>**

Inuyasha pulled out Tetsusaiga and caught the brutal force of Sesshomaru's Toukijin. The two swords clanged against one another loudly, sending sparks flying at each other. Inuyasha dug his heels into the soft earth beneath him, pushing with all his strength against Sesshomaru.

Sesshomaru kept his face calm as his brother grimaced against the surprisingly rough attack.

'Weak Inuyasha?' he thought smugly. He could almost hear his brother's fast heartbeat, racing just as his was.

Sesshomaru needed a fight. He had a lot of pent up emotions in him and Inuyasha was the perfect person to take them out on. He could feel that insistent pull to go to Rin still eating away at him, but it could wait just a bit.

Sesshomaru leapt back, pushing back against Inuyasha who stumbled a few feet backwards. He smirked as Inuyasha had to regain his balance, feeling that familiar rush of energy at the sight of his enemy staggering.

Feet away Natsu gripped at the hem of Miroku's sleeve as he, while resembling his father terribly, glared at the tall man now swinging at his father.

"Why doesn't he like my dad?" he asked Miroku innocently, his big brown eyes turning upward towards the taller man.

Miroku leaned down and shrugged, his eyes growing softer at the boy's truly curious expression. "It's very complicated Natsu. I don't believe I'm the one to explain it to you."

He watched as the little boy frown in frustration, turning away from him to watch his father and uncle continue to swing at each other.

Sesshomaru quickly lunged back at Inuyasha again. The two clashed once again, each grunting to themselves as they tried to simply use brute force to push against each other.

They broke off once again, sending each other back in opposite directions.

Inuyasha snarled, gripping his beloved sword tighter. He could feel his claws sinking into the tough skin of his palm, but ignored it as he and Sesshomaru circled one another.

The warm heat of the afternoon was now pressing down upon them each, causing sweat to trail down the sides of their cheeks. Each ignored it, Sesshomaru now squinting against the hot sun as it dipped lower into the western horizon.

Each brother kept eye contact. Inuyasha's breathing was now fast and quick while Sesshomaru kept his under control, despite the excitement running through them both.

Inuyasha suddenly charged at his brother, yelling out loudly.

Sesshomaru countered his attack, swinging back at him in silence. The two siblings went off on each other, sweeping madly at one another as they grew more and more irritated at the equality of their fight.

"Why hasn't Inuyasha used the Wind Scar or something yet?" asked Sango quietly, looking away from the fight as she handed her quiet daughter over to Miroku, now placing her delicate hand upon the small swell of her belly.

Kagome, readjusting the baby on her hip, scowled slightly before a small smile came across her face. She let out a small puff of air that had been building up within her since the beginning of the fight.

"I don't think Sesshomaru wants to hurt Inuyasha," she whispered finally.

Sango's eyes grew and she glanced back to the fight. The two were audibly cursing one another, but neither tried to use any attack that would give them the upper hand. In fact, they appeared to be merely toying with one another then actually trying to harm each other.

She turned back to Kagome who was grinning quite happily to herself for observing such a thing.

"Why? I thought they hated each other!"

"Look at Sesshomaru...something's different about him," commented Miroku, now watching the two next to them, Natsu faithfully at his side.

Sango turned, as did Kagome.

They watched Sesshomaru.

His movements were as controlled as could be. Fluid as ever, especially compared to the uncontrollable, volatile Inuyasha who was quickly whacking away at his brother as Sesshomaru smoothly dodged him, occasionally hitting back just to push Inuyasha back a few feet.

His face was as passive as ever, neither showing emotion nor effort. He almost looked like a cobra that Sango had once seen from a traveler in her village years ago. He swayed back and forth, almost taunting and teasing the man before him, as the snake had the charmer.

Could it be that he were just innocently passing by and just happened to come across Inuyasha? Now that she thought of it, Sesshomaru hadn't appeared to be on the prowl for a fight. In fact, he seemed quite concerned with something totally opposite of them.

"I don't think it was his intention to fight Inuyasha today," commented Miroku as if he had read his wife's mind.

Kagome turned to Miroku before turning back to the sparring brothers. "I think you're right, Miroku. Look at them! They barely even yelled at each before this started. Last time was a bit more serious, but..."

"Sesshomaru has somewhere else to be," finished Sango.

"He's just too proud to pass up a fight with Inuyasha," added Miroku, glancing down as Natsu flinched at a rather brutal hit his father received.

**>**

Roiyaru led his horse slowly through the small patch of forest, his eyes set upon the open fields before him. The afternoon sunlight was shining brightly through the trees, casting shadows across the tired man's face.

Beyond those fields lay Rin's village.

His eyes solemnly looked about the woods, his heart heavy and his mind numb.

He had thought and rethought everything over and over again at least a dozen times each. He felt nauseous and tired, yet he had to keep going. Surely that youkai was now heading towards Rin, and Roiyaru knew that he would not stand a chance against a creature who had done such things to Kisho's army, but he could at least get to Rin first and reason with her.

And if needed, he would defend her at all costs.

He felt a small tug at his horse's reins and he stopped to let the poor animal, who was probably ten times more tired than he, graze upon a small patch of grass.

He sat down beside it, patting it's side appreciatively as he felt his body ache and groan at the torture he was putting it through.

He leaned forward and ran his hands through his unruly mass of hair that had not been tamed in days. He could only imagine what he looked like. If it were half as bad as how he felt right now, he knew he would appear close to death.

He leaned back against a nearby tree and let the silence of the forest surround him. Beside him, his horse grunted happily, munching away as he slowly made his way through the fresh grass.

Roiyaru looked away from the beast and let out a small sigh, closing his eyes slowly. He could feel sleep overpowering him and with the way his breathing began to slow, he knew it was something he could not fight.

Just for a while, he would sleep.

But then he heard it.

Faintly at first, but as he listened, it became more definite.

The clanging of swords...

He sat up with a jolt, his curiosity flaring up.

Perhaps it were only some simple farmers, arguing over a cow. Or maybe just some young teens, sparring with one another.

Whatever it was, Roiyaru knew it were coming from the direction he must travel. At first, his initial reaction was to try and find a different way around them, but then it hit him.

What if they were something like bandits, preparing to attack Rin's village?

His thoughts were wild and out there, but he was exhausted and weak. Whatever first entered his mind was what he would act upon.

So being the hotheaded youth that Kisho had presumed him to be, he straddled his horse and took off towards the sounds, his heart racing and last ounces of adrenaline pumping.

**>**

Inuyasha glared at his brother as they tangled themselves up once again, pushing against each other with everything they could.

"What's bothering you, Sesshomaru? You're acting strange," he muttered between clenched teeth.

Sesshomaru's eyes flashed, but he restrained the sudden urge to yell out.

"Are you concerned half-breed?" he snapped back, his emotional guard flaring up immediately.

Inuyasha snorted, noticing his brother's suddenly evident emotional restraint. "Hardly. You're just not fighting like you did before. I'm a little disappointed."

Sesshomaru pushed harder, making Inuyasha take a step back. "Speak for yourself. You haven't used any of your tricks yet."

Inuyasha smirked. "I'm just getting warmed up."

**>**

Roiyaru hopped off of his horse just as he reached the outer rim of the forest. He led his horse once more out into the bright fields. The warm summer heat pounded upon him, yet he felt nothing. He was too tired to feel anything now.

His eyes were centered on the hill his horse were ascending. The heavy clop, clop of the horse's stride were the only thing keeping his body upright. He could feel his excitement and anxiety growing, but his body was trying its hardest to fall asleep.

He leaned forward and felt his intestines twist within him at the sight he saw when reaching the peak of the grassy hill.

Down below two demons were battling. Silver hair, one a silky, fine mane, the other a thick, full mass...golden eyes, glaring somewhat playfully at each other...youkai...

Roiyaru felt as if tons of cold water had been poured upon him at the sight of these two. They were intimidating to say the least, and yet, he still knew not of what Sesshomaru looked like.

He could be either of the two.

One of them was rather elegant in his movements. Each step was precise and perfect, his face so very blank. His counterpart was full of emotion, his clothes rather awkward considering they were like none Roiyaru had ever seen.

He looked over to the right and saw a group of what appeared to be humans, simply standing by, watching.

'If I can slip by and ask them which of these youkai is Sesshomaru, perhaps I can go on to Rin's village without being stopped,' thought Roiyaru quickly, licking his chapped lips as he quickly jabbed his heels into the sides of his horse.

**>**

Sesshomaru had smelled the scent of the human before he had come across the hillside, yet he felt no threat from the man. He appeared to be a lonely, beaten down soldier and Sesshomaru knew that if he were wise, he would stay away from the battling brothers.

Still, even as he chased after Inuyasha, he kept the man within sight.

For some reason, something was telling him to stop and attack the man, yet he couldn't figure out why. He had never smelled that scent before. It was just some lowly human, finding some sort of entertainment, he supposed, in their fight.

"Damn you, Sesshomaru," hissed Inuyasha as he got up from the ground, his eyes piercing his brother's after being knocked down once again.

Sesshomaru smirked.

He had a feeling that his brother and he had made some sort of silent packed to simply spar with one another, not to draw blood today.

Yet still, the hair on his neck was tingling and his heart racing. He still had that instinct to be on the edge and keep his guard up when his beloved brother were around.

Sesshomaru really never knew how to explain his relationship with Inuyasha. It was just what it was. Take it or leave it.

What he did know at the moment, was that the sooner he finished, the sooner he could run to Rin.

He growled suddenly at the mere sound of his own thoughts.

'Pathetic!' he snapped to himself before knocking Inuyasha down once again, a bit rougher than before.

**>**

Kagome looked up as she saw a young man, somewhat similar in appearance to Miroku, approaching.

She elbowed Sango silently and in turn, Miroku looked to the youth as he rode up to them.

"Hello there," he greeted warmly. A beautiful smile spread across his thin lips and the sudden likeliness of Miroku could be seen. His eyes were kind, yet something were significant about him that Kagome couldn't put her finger on.

"Hello. Can we help you?" asked Kagome.

Roiyaru found it odd, not only by the way she were dressed, but how calm and relaxed this woman was while two fierce youkai fought only yards from her. She bounced the baby in her arms casually and almost appeared to be humming.

He then looked to the child in her arms and frowned.

Did the baby belong to one of the creatures fighting? His sudden frown did look like the matching scowls yards away.

Roiyaru pulled his gaze from the golden eyed baby and grinned back to Kagome.

'My God she looks like Rin,' he thought suddenly.

Before he could say another word though, Kagome's face fell and she cried out, "Inuyasha!"

Roiyaru's gaze followed hers and found the taller of the two standing above the other, sword pointed at his brother's chest with a menacing glare upon his face.

"Stay back, Kagome!" yelled back Inuyasha, his eyes never leaving the piece of metal at his throat.

Sesshomaru smirked, his golden eyes darker than ever as he peered down the silky smooth blade of his Toukijin. "This position seems familiar does it not, Inuyasha?" he asked dryly.

Inuyasha snarled, his upper lip curling in disgust.

"Shut up, Sesshomaru."

Roiyaru gasped.

In a way, he had a gut instinct that it were him, but still he did not want to believe it.

"That's Sesshomaru?" he asked, louder than he had expected.

Sesshomaru's head whipped to look at the human. Why would he care who he was?

Then it dawned on him.

What if that worthless whelp of a mortal were Roiyaru, Rin's fiancee?

His eyes narrowed with a deadly gaze upon his face and Roiyaru visibly flinched as those golden orbs turned upon him.

Inuyasha took this as his only chance and in a clear sweep, kicked Sesshomaru's feet out from below him.

Sesshomaru stumble to the ground, his anger more intent upon the boy than his brother. He turned to Inuyasha and snarled. "Damn it, you're always interfering half-breed!"

Inuyasha quirked an ebony brow in question and asked brashly, "What the hell are you talking about?"

Roiyaru took the kick from Inuyasha as his cue to leave, and in a flash, he took off. "Yah!" he cried out, forcing his horse to sprint the final few miles to the village.

His heart was racing and he could feel sweat pouring down his cheeks as the cool breezes made him shiver.

It was madness to fall in love with a beast such as that! His glare had sent shivers down Roiyaru's spine still and he could only wonder if that bastard would ever look at his beloved Rin in such a way.

He glanced over his shoulder to find the brother's fighting once again and gulped in air as he continued on. Hopefully the other youkai known as Inuyasha could keep him at bay a few minutes longer.

Surely he couldn't catch up to Roiyaru, right?

**>**

Sesshomaru, using his blade, pushed back against Inuyasha before he took off in a sprint without a word, towards the direction the man had gone.

Inuyasha regained his balance and chased after his brother. "Sesshomaru! Get your ass back here and fight me, you coward!"

Sesshomaru heard his brother's words but ignored them. 'There is something much more important than you happening right now, dear brother,' he snarled silently.

His eyes were set upon the horizon, searching for that weakling that had so bravely run away from him after realizing who he were.

Sesshomaru felt that jolt of pride.

Of course he would run once he knew who Sesshomaru was. Who wouldn't?

**>**

Rin rose up from sitting next to a kind friend in the market. She were the old blind woman who had taken in Rin years ago. She were now a confidant and gave Rin advice when needed. Rin turned back and said her goodbyes before heading back home.

Her sandals crunched the dirt and gravel streets below her as she played with the dark green obi of her floral, yellow kimono.

The bright color complimented her dark eyes and hair wonderfully and those men who did not glance her way were fools, for she were a true beauty to behold.

The afternoon sunlight was igniting the highlights of her mane, bringing out the mahogany and chestnut hues of her hair while her eyes were a dark honey. She stared straight ahead, proudly. She had been raised, not by her family or caretakers, but by her Lord Sesshomaru to walk with her shoulders back and eyes staring anything in her way squarely in the eye.

It had helped her appear less shy, though inside she were still the shy little girl Sesshomaru had encountered years ago.

She glanced to the new gates of her village, which had been constructed after Sesshomaru's last visit. She wondered why the feeling of anticipation was coursing through her. It felt like someone or something were headed this way. She shrugged it off and headed back towards the mansion.

Standing on the steps leading inside was Saeko. Her dark, beady eyes were staring intently in Rin's direction.

The younger of the two walked up the steps and without a sign of expression simply said, "Afternoon Saeko."

Saeko stared keenly after Rin as she walked on inside.

The girl were hiding something, Saeko knew it. Rin was always hiding something and for some stupid reason, everyone found it appealing. Saeko continued to scowl at the back of Rin until she disappeared amongst the shadows of the building.

**>**

Roiyaru felt his heart race within his chest as he saw the gates leading to Rin's village and he let out a small yelp of joy.

"Open the gates!" he cried out, waving a hand madly to the men.

He glanced over his shoulder and felt that now familiar shiver race down his spine as Sesshomaru raced over the fields behind him, gaining at a rapid pace.

Roiyaru knew he were simply the pray and Sesshomaru the skilled hunter, yet he could not let his fear stop him. He had to continue on.

As he approached the gates, he could see the concerned looks upon their faces as they saw the youkai following him a small distance behind.

He felt relief was over him as he entered the village. Looking over his shoulder he cried back, "Shut them, hurry! A youkai is chasing me! He's dangerous!"

As the men quickly obeyed, Roiyaru headed towards Rin's mansion. He could feel his heart both pounding with anticipation of seeing her and breaking at the same time. She were supposedly no longer in love with him, and in a few moments, the truth would be revealed.

**>**

Sesshomaru almost laughed as he saw the poor humans rushing to shut the gate to lock him out. He found it incredibly funny. They actually thought that this new, taller, sturdier gate could keep him at bay?

'So foolish,' he thought to himself.

He could feel the weight of days without rest trying to catch up with him, but being a demon, could easily push these tiring thoughts away and continue on.

He felt such anger towards the pathetic being she had chosen to be her husband.

He knew he shouldn't care. He knew it wasn't his business who it was that she chose to marry, but here he was, chasing after the weakling, racing towards her to speak with her. To just get that last ounce of proof that he needed...whether disgrace or the answer he wanted awaited him, he didn't know. All he knew was that he was close...so very close...

To her.

**>**

"M'lady! Lady Rin! Where are you?"

"In here, Tokiko!" called out Rin, glancing at her mother as they heard the young servant racing amongst the halls.

Rin stood in her mother's room, trying on her wedding dress one final time before the actual ceremony. She smoothed out the few wrinkles, while Lady Adzumi lifted her daughter's thick mane off of her back.

"We will pin your hair up high and neat. You'll look absolutely stunning, dear," commented Lady Adzumi, glancing at her daughter's reflection.

Rin smiled weakly, nodding to her mother.

"Lady Rin!" cried out Tokiko with a shrill voice.

Rin's hope rose as she remembered that the last time Tokiko had appeared so afraid had been when Sesshomaru had returned.

Tokiko appeared in the doorway, her plain face full of worry. "M'lady! Come with me quickly!" she cried out.

Rin looked to her mother, but Lady Adzumi was already standing and heading towards Tokiko. Rin jumped up and followed her mother and servant.

"What's going on, Mother?" asked Namiko as her face popped out from her bedroom. Adzumi looked to her and waved her hand in the girl's face. "Nothing of your concern, Namiko."

Namiko hmphed and chased after Rin, cursing quietly under her breath.

Rin felt a grin spreading across her face as she knew, deep down inside it were Sesshomaru who had returned.

'I knew it! I knew it!' she thought happily, watching as they neared the main room of the mansion where a crowd of people stood.

Rin's mother stopped before her, but Rin pushed on by. She squeezed through the crowd, her eyes searching ahead. She could feel her entire body shaking as she lifted her skirt, trying to gain more mobility from the beautiful gown.

She squeezed past two tall men and stopped with a loud gasp before him, her eyes wide with surprise.

"Roiyaru!"

**>**

**A/n: Aren't I cruel? Lol. Well here it is, the beginning of the end. I'm not sure I like how this chapter went, but it's finally done and I'm already working on this next chapter because I'm so excited about this ending! Okay, guys. I hope ya'll liked it and I hope to have the next chapter out before Thanksgiving! See ya!**


	15. The Truth

**With Or Without You**

**A/n:** **Hello everyone and happy very, very, very late Thanksgiving! I wanted to get this up by Thanksgiving, but I just couldn't find a way I wanted to end the chapter. Finally, I came up with it and had my editor (my lil brother) read over it before I could allow myself to submit it. The next update may not be until next weekend b/c this weekend I compete at state, sooo...please, oh pretty please, be patient for the next one! Keep the reviews coming like they've been, I love you guys, you rock!**

**Chapter Fifteen**

**The Truth**

**>**

Her dark eyes were fixed upon him, her face suddenly blank as she hid her mixed emotions. Both surprise and disappointment were filtering around beneath her self-created mask that in just a day, would become her natural look.

"Roiyaru," she repeated, eyeing him carefully as the crowd around her made no motion to leave. She could feel the steady beat of her heart, pounding within her ears as the room became suddenly tense. Not a word was said from the people surrounding her and after a few moments, she began to think Roiyaru would not speak with her.

She approached him slowly, her hands shaking as her mind became a blank with panic.

And then he smiled such a bittersweet smile that all her fears of him knowing the truth came crashing down upon her in a tidal wave of both relief and shame.

His dark cerulean eyes pierced hers as his boyish innocence came through in just one expression, an expression that said so much to her.

"Everyone, let's give my daughter and Lord Roiyaru some privacy!" hissed Lady Adzumi suddenly, her eyes locked upon the back of her daughter's head.

Rin silently thanked her mother, glancing away from Roiyaru to look at everyone around her.

They all reluctantly began to leave, some patting Roiyaru on the shoulder, others whispering words of welcome. The last to leave was Saeko.

Her beady eyes bore into Rin's, but Rin did not look away. Rin lifted her head slightly, almost challenging the girl before Saeko finally turned away and left.

Rin felt a warm, dry hand grab hers and she looked down sympathetically to Roiyaru.

He looked so tired, so weak and broken. Dark circles, darker than the ones underneath her own eyes, made him look so unhealthy. Dirt and blood accented his usually clean and pristine appearance, not to mention the mass of dark black hair atop his head that was mussed and greasy, now falling into his eyes, which he simply blew away.

He looked truly terrible and Rin never pitied him more, nor felt more for him than at that moment.

In a graceful sweep, she bent down and hugged him tightly to her chest. She felt tears stinging her eyes and for a brief moment she wondered if she had actually been concerned for his health while he was away.

Roiyaru audibly gasped as the beautiful girl embraced him ever so tightly. The strong, heady fragrance of honeysuckle and lavender invaded his senses as he felt her hold his head against the soft tenderness of her chest. He couldn't help but relax against the silky material of her kimono and for awhile, as she held him as a wife should, he let himself believe that she loved him.

Rin had feared that Sesshomaru would kill Roiyaru upon hearing who he was, but who was she kidding? Sesshomaru could have cared less as to who she was marrying. He had made that quite clear when he left. Still, Rin had worried about Roiyaru more than she had lead on.

She then, much sooner than Roiyaru would have liked, released her fiancee from her tight grasp and watched with careful eyes as he stood up. He stumbled slightly in his movements, but with Rin's help, soon stood before her just as proudly as he had nearly a month ago in the garden.

Rin's bright brown eyes looked up to his and she quickly looked back down to her kimono, smoothing it out nervously. "I suppose my wedding gown won't be much of a surprise to you tomorrow, will it?" she laughed gently.

Roiyaru studied her for quite some time without saying anything, just watching her every little move with great earnest.

So much of him still loved her and yet, it felt as if something suddenly felt distanced from her.

The way she moved so carefully about him, the way she spoke properly and minded herself were the ways a woman should behave around a man, especially her husband...but he had a feeling that whenever Rin did marry, to whomever it would be, she would not act this way.

She had a different side to her that he felt he would never see.

Though when she had hugged him so dearly, he felt that perhaps he had seen a mere glimpse of it, he knew that it would take so long to find her heart and steal it back away from that youkai.

And then he remembered.

'He's still after me!'

**>**

Sesshomaru stood at the village's newly erected gates. The scent of fresh wood met his nostrils and he knew that these had not been up long. He could still smell the earthy scent of fresh dirt and when he looked down at the base of the gates, he saw the still upturned dirt and gravel.

A part of him was proud that he had scared the villagers so, and another part wondered if Rin were scared of him as well.

He scoffed at the idea.

Rin had never feared him. She was brave and she understood him more than she knew. She knew when to be quiet, when to speak up, when to listen and when to defy him.

He knew that beyond these gates that cowardly cur were running to her, whimpering of this dreaded youkai's return.

"Lord Sesshomaru! M'lord! Oh please wait! Lord Sesshomaru!" came a shrill, raspy cry from yards away that Sesshomaru knew all too well.

He turned on his heel rather slowly, almost reluctantly, to see his retainer standing on the peak of the nearest grassy hill, waving his arms madly as he cried out for his master's attention.

It was amazing how the little creature could find him so quickly. Sesshomaru had thought that perhaps Inuyasha had delayed the little toad's traveling, but alas, Jaken was not that easily distracted.

Sesshomaru watched with slight amusement as the creature bounded down the hill, every few steps tumbling over his robes before regaining balance.

It wasn't too long before he was at his master's feet again, teary eyed and looking exhausted.

"M'lord! I finally caught up with you!" he gasped, falling to his small knees before his lord.

Sesshomaru sneered slightly at the toad's filthy appearance and Jaken did not ignore it.

"I'm so sorry that I'm so dirty, but I did not stop to bathe nor rest much while in search of you! I didn't even stop to ask that hanyou, Inuyasha of your whereabouts," he explained quickly.

Sesshomaru had already turned away, his gaze settling once again upon the twelve foot gates before him. He lifted a hand to gently run across the fresh wood, wondering whether he should simply break it down or push it open nicely.

Jaken stared in disbelief as his master caressed the village's gates before him.

On the other side, the sound of men could heard. They were yelling and running, the scent of fear and sweat thick in the air.

Sesshomaru smirked.

Though he would love to stop and disturb the peace, he had more important matters on his mind. So without another thought, he briskly slashed only a few times with his claws against the hard wood of the door.

The wood groaned and moaned for only a moment before it fell backwards, away from Sesshomaru.

The men stared in disbelief as a cloud of dirt flew at them. Some ran back, yelling warning of the youkai. Others stood bravely, bracing themselves for a fight.

As the dust settled, Sesshomaru entered the village once again, Jaken faithfully at his heels.

He said not a word to the men and simply walked past them, none making an effort to stop him.

**>**

"Rin, I must ask you something," Roiyaru said suddenly, breaking the uneasy silence that had befallen them once more. He grabbed Rin's arms, as if to prevent her from running away. Rin looked down at his hands and when he made no effort to remove them, looked back into his eyes.

Roiyaru saw her fear swimming against the honey highlights of her brown eyes, but made no notion of it.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he spoke, "You must answer truthfully, Rin...I want only the truth."

Rin frowned, her lips forming a protest but his blue eyes flashed open once more and she shut her mouth instantly.

"I spoke with your father...and he told me that he met with your old guardian, Sesshomaru," he began.

Rin tensed within his grasp at the mere mention of his name, her heart now beating rapidly in her chest.

Roiyaru did not wait for her to reply and continued. "He told me that...that you love this youkai, the same youkai your sister spoke of in a prying letter and...and," he spoke louder as she tried to protest once again.

"And I do not want to believe that you have feelings for this creature, for I have seen him with my own eyes and he looks like only a beast in my eyes...but," he looked up, his blue eyes full of emotions Rin had never seen in them before now.

"But you, you hide so much of yourself from me Rin, that who knows how you see that youkai. And I can't decide whether you've always loved him and you never truly had any feelings for me or if your father and sister are just simply lying to dissolve this engagement."

Roiyaru gently laughed. "And I must admit that I am praying, with all my being, that it is the latter of the two."

Rin gulped, tears stinging her eyes again. She looked down, feeling his grip upon her thin arms tightening as she saw his heart breaking before her. The guilt she had felt before was nothing compared to what she was now feeling.

It was indescribable, the way her heart was breaking, the way her stomach was squirming and the never relenting screaming within her mind that this had to be done. This was the moment everything had been leading up to.

She swallowed hard, knowing that what she wanted to say had to be said. If she continued to lie to him, continued to lie to her family, and most importantly, to herself, then true happiness was nothing but a mere memory. She could never truly gain that free feeling of being alive, being free again because she would have closed her own prison door with a lie. Shutting herself away with marriage, she would be miserable for life.

"What my father and Saeko have told you is...is..."

"M'lady! Lady Rin!" Tokiko cried out suddenly, rushing into the room with her eyes as wide as ever.

Rin glared at the servant and shook her head quickly. "Leave us, Tokiko!" she ordered sternly.

Tokiko ignored the distraught expressions of the two young adults and sighed softly. "But m'lady, you must-"

Rin shook her head once again, her dark eyes flashing dangerously. "It will wait, Tokiko. Now I order you to leave us!"

Tokiko looked helplessly to Roiyaru, but his eyes seemed to agree with the woman in his arms, so she quickly and quietly left.

By Tokiko's expression, Roiyaru knew that Sesshomaru must have entered the village.

"Roiyaru."

Her delicate voice, now quivering, pulled his attention away from his thoughts of Sesshomaru.

"Lord Sesshomaru saved my life. He cared for me as a child and in concern for my own welfare, he left me in this village so that I could be brought up a woman and would be safe from his final battle with Naraku," she explained gently.

Roiyaru frowned. This could go either way, though deep down inside he knew what her answer was going to be.

"I know that you can't see the humanity or warmth within him and few do. But I do know him, not as much as Master Jaken, but enough to know that he is not a beast nor creature like everyone sees him. He is good, deep down inside."

She paused, taking a deep breath to keep herself from blubbering before him. She was already crying more than she'd like to in front of someone, especially Roiyaru.

"If Lord Sesshomaru had not come back, I would probably still feel for you what I always felt. I would most likely still be thrilled by the idea of marrying you...but he came back. I don't know why, or what made him, but he did. And in that moment that I saw him, I knew that I didn't love him like I did as a little girl."

Roiyaru felt her trembling in his arms, and he bit his lower lip as the truth began to seep into his mind.

She loved that damn youkai. Damn it, she loved him!

She glanced away only a second to collect herself once again before she looked into his eyes, showing him more emotion that she ever had. That blank, foggy glaze was absent from her eyes and now he saw deep, down into her soul. Her expression was raw and huamn, nothing like the angelic doll she had become around him.

This was the real Rin in all her misery and beauty, and the more she expressed, the more emotion she appeared to feel, the more he loved her, despite her confession of loving a demon.

"I do love him, and I'm so, so sorry that it wasn't me who told you first, m'lord," she whimpered, dropping her head in shame.

"Rin."

She heard her name falling so softly off of his lips that guilt made her intestines twist once more.

"Rin, look at me," he commanded more sternly.

She raised her head slowly, tears rolling silently down her cheeks as he studied her gaze with that natural gentleness he had always possessed.

He cocked his head to the side, now releasing her arms from his tight grasp. A hand came up to cup her soft, now wet cheek and he caressed it slowly. His dark eyes tracing over her facial features momentarily before he dropped his hand back down to his side.

"I must thank you for your honesty, Rin."

She said nothing, but continued to stare at him fully.

"Rin, your lord is in this village as we speak."

Her eyes glimmered slightly and she frowned with confusion as he continued to look upon her so sweetly despite the sudden bombshell of truth she had just thrown upon him.

"Your Lord Sesshomaru has returned once again, Rin. He followed me here from the west," he explained patiently.

Rin's eyes widened considerably and a gasp escaped her lips, which she immediately regretted.

Roiyaru smiled slightly before he leaned forward, brushing his lips ever so softly against her own. Rin did not kiss back as her hands clenched at her sides as they had when he had first kissed her in the garden. Kissing him would never feel right.

She watched as he backed away, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Go to him, Rin."

**>**

Sesshomaru walked slowly through the village, enjoying the way the men and women raced to their homes, screaming. It was truly pathetic. He almost felt angry with himself for placing Rin in such a cowardly village, but it would not matter for long, for he would soon find the cure to this insistent need within him.

The pull towards her was just growing stronger with every step he took towards the mansion near the center of the village.

A few yards away, the elderly woman sat as usual. Her soft smile was gracing her thin lips as she stared off into nothingness.

Sesshomaru stared her for a moment, wondering if she could see him, if she knew why he were here again.

"M'lord, are you sure Rin is even here still? It has been four weeks!" Jaken snipped from beside him. Sesshomaru looked down at the green creature. He looked back up, resuming his confident stride towards the mansion.

"I'm quite confident she's here, Jaken."

**>**

"What, m'lord?" she asked quietly, her tears now ceasing.

Roiyaru looked to the doorway and saw Tokiko appear as if on cue, anxiety fully expressed in her eyes.

Roiyaru looked back to Rin and sighed. "I said go to him, Rin."

"But-"

"Don't worry about me. I do not wish to keep you from him any longer than I already have," he interrupted quietly. It was now his eyes that became foggy, hiding from her what he truly felt.

Rin smiled gently, nodding.

"Thank you, m'lord."

He said nothing as she quickly raced back to the entrance of the mansion.

He watched her disappear and turned to Tokiko, who was now staring at him with an almost approving gaze.

"You are her handmaiden correct?" he asked quietly, approaching the nearest window.

Tokiko watched as he turned his back upon her and she stepped forward, nodding. "Yes m'lord. I have been at Lady Rin's side for quite some time now."

Roiyaru nodded, biting his lower lip as the pain continued to pulse within his heart. "Then you must know her much more than I do." He turned back to face the young servant and cocked his eyebrows high in question.

"Did I do the right thing, Tokiko? Was letting her run to that foul beast the right thing?"

Tokiko's eyes grew considerably softer and she smiled broadly, nodding. "Yes m'lord, I believe you did the best thing possible."

Roiyaru gave a curt nod and turned back to the window.

"Is there anything I can get you, m'lord?"

Roiyaru shook his head. "No...well, I suppose you could have the stable boys ready my horse. I must return home and tell my father that the wedding is off."

Tokiko nodded and soon left the room.

As she turned the corner, she nearly ran head on into Lady Adzumi. "M'lady! I'm sorry, please excuse me," apologized Tokiko quickly, bowing several times before bustling past Lady Adzumi.

The more poised woman stepped into the doorway, watching Roiyaru with a newfound respect. She smiled gently and walked into the room.

Roiyaru turned as she approached him and as he began to speak, she shook her head. "I am proud of you, Lord Roiyaru. I just want you to know that." She patted his shoulder softly. "You need not explain, for I heard it all...I'm afraid that eavesdropping has been a flaw in my personality for years," she laughed, her dark eyes twinkling.

Roiyaru nodded. "It's quite alright m'lady. I'm sure by tomorrow the entire northern region will be speaking of what a fool I am."

Lady Adzumi shook her head quickly, frowning. "No, no, no dear! You have done what is right. Would you have preferred living with the ghost of a woman, loving the mere shell of her? I have been watching my daughter die slowly ever since that youkai returned, and I must thank you for lifting that illness from her, Roiyaru. You saved her, you hear me? You saved her from a fate that no one, but the two of you could stop."

Roiyaru glanced back out the window as he watched the servants whisper frantically, pointing to the gates leading into the mansion.

He felt the woman's hand leave his shoulder as her footsteps grew quieter as she left the room, most likely to investigate her servants' odd behavior.

"It will go away...the pain I mean."

Roiyaru quietly snorted, doubting that it would be anytime soon.

**>**

**A/n: I know, I know! Sesshomaru and Rin's reunion was not in this chapter, but you know that the next chapter will be full of just them. I may have something w/ the other characters, but the majority of it, like 90 of it,will be to those two, I promise! I'll update ASAP guys, I swear! Please be patient, I promise it won't be too long!**

**Oh btw, I don't know if anyone likes Good Charolette, but their song "The Truth" fits perfectly with Roiyaru and Rin's situation and it definitely helped me while writing this chapter (Thus the chapter's obvious title). Sorry, total music junkie here and I like listen to music 24/7, so just thought I'd mention that, lol. **


	16. Slipping Back

**With Or Without You**

**A/n: I'm back! I know, I know! Nearly a month since I last updated and I can't express how truly sorry I am, but I got writer's block right after I updated last and I tried my hardest to write this stupid chapter, but it was never right. It didn't really flow and I'm still not sure if this one's great...I like the last half of it more than the first, lol, I'm my worst critic and that's probably the number one reason why my updates take so long. This chapter is also extra long and it may be a little bland, I don't know...lol, just read it...**

**Chapter Sixteen**

**Slipping Back**

**>**

She stepped out of the gates and abruptly stopped.

Breathing in deeply, her dark eyes slid closed and she felt a sense of freedom wash over her. Guilt, which had rooted itself so deeply within her stomach, had been lifted from her. She could stand tall and smile brightly without a feeling of hollowness to wash it away.

She couldn't hear the fearful cries from her fellow villagers. She couldn't feel the insistent hands upon her, pulling her back into the gates. She didn't see anything besides the pathway, leading to her lord. She knew he were heading this way for she could see the way everyone was scattering.

She could feel excitement spreading through her limbs and with a deep breath, she took off towards the center of the village.

She could hear the soft crunching of her sandals on the gravel and she could hear the rumble of the clouds above her, but to the rest of the world she was deaf.

She focused herself entirely upon finding him, and as she came upon a large, whimpering group, relief washed over her.

"I found him," she whispered.

**>**

Sesshomaru watched as the crowds began to thin and part. Most were in their homes or hiding somewhere safe by now. Only a few people remained, pushing and rushing away from him. He could see them moving away from him as he neared the mansion. They all watched him with wide eyes and pale faces. They were truly afraid of him, and really the only reason they feared him so was because of petty rumors.

It didn't bother him in the least, Sesshomaru simply found it somewhat humorous.

He watched them carefully before a movement started in the crowd. They were looking back and whispering loudly to one another. Perhaps someone wished to challenge him? Sesshomaru cocked an ebony brow in question as Jaken also grew quiet at the odd sight.

And then, from out of the crowds like a ray of sunshine against dark storm clouds, a beautiful creature emerged, flushed and panting. Her dark eyes were flashing dangerously about the crowd behind her as they tried to convince her to come back. She said not a word to them, but turned to meet his stare head on.

His breath caught in his chest and he stopped immediately in his tracks.

The bright afternoon sunlight hit the brilliantly white silk of the kimono she wore and she seemed to glow against the dingy, filthy commoners behind her.

Her dark mane was full and tousled, her cheeks rosy and eyes wider than ever. Never had he seen a mortal look so beautiful...no, never had he seen _anything _look as beautiful as she did in that moment.

"Lord Sesshomaru!" she cried out desperately.

Never did he think twice about his name. He had never considered its meaning, nor origin. It was his name, simple. But when she said it, when she cried out for him...it meant something. He couldn't explain it. He couldn't really think at the moment. She was the first person to catch him off guard so, and it both angered and fascinated him.

Rin took a deep breath and charged forward. 'Lord Sesshomaru, Lord Sesshomaru!' was all her mind could think of.

The bumbling, whimpering crowd behind her froze. Not one said a word as she ran to him. They all looked at her as if she were crazy. She were their prized beauty and she was just running towards a deadly youkai.

She stopped just before him as she had done a month ago. She looked up into his eyes, those golden orbs burning into her memory forever. Though his face were blank, a war was raging behind his eyes and she wanted nothing more than to know what he was thinking.

Was he happy to see her?

Had he been battling himself just as she had?

Had he even missed her?

Sesshomaru stared down at her, concealing everything in him. Holding back every urge the demon within him was screaming. Something else, something he did not know wanted to express to her everything. And yet, he would not allow himself.

He was not a weakling to his emotions. They could be, and had always been, controlled. So as she peered up anxiously to him, with eyes of the deepest, most beautiful brown, he said nothing.

"You came back?" she whispered softly.

Had it not been for his keen hearing, he would have never heard her.

He said not a word, but simply watched her. She was such an interesting thing to him. It was amazing how easily she captured his undivided attention. Even as a child she had been able to just simply grab his attention with a few words.

Her eyes fell down to Jaken when he said nothing, and her face brightened. "Master Jaken! You too have returned!" she exclaimed softly.

Jaken visibly jumped. "Only because Lord Sesshomaru! If it weren't for him, I would have never wished to return to this miserable place!" he snapped back with a soft blush to his green cheeks.

Rin continued to smile. "Thank you for coming back too."

Her eyes turned back to Sesshomaru as Jaken continued to mumble about filthy mortals, and she bit her lower lip as millions of questions tried to push themselves past her lips.

Before any could make it by, Sesshomaru finally spoke.

"Have you married that pathetic mortal?" he asked. Far too much spite was released in the question and he could see Rin notice.

She shook her head as she bit down the renewed hope boiling inside. Though she knew it may have just been his feeling of contempt for all humans in general, her love filled heart hoped otherwise.

He sounded jealous, almost angry, though to any other person he would have sounded just as monotone and calm as he always did. Rin, however, had studied him. She knew him.

As a child she had always watched her guardian. Yet, in many ways, she had liked the mystery, the unknowingness of his personality. It were those very traits that attracted her so to him as a child and even more so now.

"No, we have decided not to marry," she replied brightly. She would not explain why unless he asked.

And as she had assumed, he did not ask. Instead he simply stood before her.

Relief washed over him and he felt a small amount of weight lift from his heart. It was odd, that he found so much happiness in such a small statement.

"I see," was all he could allow himself to say.

An uneasy silence fell between the two, and even the crowds behind them grew restless. They began to murmur and whisper, wondering what it was that had Rin so attached to such a creature as Sesshomaru.

Rin could pick up bits and pieces of their comments. Some were that he were her true father, others that he were her secret lover. They all varied and were as diverse as the many rumors that followed and preceded him. She tuned them out and looked back up to Sesshomaru with hopeful, pleading eyes.

As she opened her mouth to speak, Jaken interrupted her by tugging obnoxiously at his master's leg.

"M'lord, we must leave soon! The rains are coming!" he whined, his shrill voice interrupting Sesshomaru's deep thoughts. Sesshomaru looked up to the sky and sniffed at the air, realizing that Jaken were right. He wondered momentarily why he hadn't sensed the change in weather.

'Because you've been too damn preoccupied with this mortal wench,' came his pride's reply.

He visibly sneered and it worried Rin. Were he already bored with her?

She wanted to ask why he had followed Roiyaru here, what his intentions were, but she couldn't find the right way to ask it. She knew she had to be careful with her words around him. If she arranged her words wrong or spoke in the wrong tone, he would not answer her. He were so sensitive and he didn't even know it. It was quite frustrating, but Rin had grown up with it. She was used to be ignored by him...it just actually hurt her now.

Sesshomaru looked to Jaken and gave a curt nod.

"Very well."

With those words, he turned away from her. He said not a word to her, nor did he even glance back at her. He simply began to stride away just as blatantly as he had before.

Panic shot through her like a bullet, piercing her heart and going straight down to her stomach. She stepped forward and without a second thought grabbed his only arm.

"Take me with you!" she whispered.

As he felt her touch, he stopped. No one had touched him years, not like that. He could feel her almost clinging to him, holding tightly to his lower arm as she spoke. Her voice was so pathetic, so needy. He wanted to cringe and embrace her all at once. The sudden need to hold her released his territorial instincts once again and he had to fight away the wretched emotions swarming him.

"Rin! You are a grown woman now! You don't need Lord Sesshomaru's protection anymore! Go back to your mansion and fiancee!" growled out Jaken, turning to glare at her. He had just found his lord and master and was quite content with presuming that it would be a simple hello again and then they would leave her for good.

"I said let him go, Rin-"

"Silence!" snapped Sesshomaru quietly.

It was a cold and vile command that hit Jaken to his very core. He immediately shut his mouth and dropped his eyes away from Rin and down to the dirt.

Rin glanced for a moment to Jaken, pitying him for a split second before she looked up to Sesshomaru. He couldn't leave her again. She couldn't live without him, much less return to Roiyaru and admit she had been rejected, that he were right and Sesshomaru were nothing but a beast.

"I promise not to be a nuisance, m'lord!" she whispered urgently, her doe eyes growing glossy as she peered into his. She sounded like a child once again, yet Sesshomaru saw the face of a woman before him.

And then the strong, heady scent of honeysuckle and lavender swarmed around him as the winds picked up. Her dark hair blew around her face, framing it perfectly.

He couldn't believe how she captivated him so. Inside he felt a sudden desire flare up, a sudden urge to...to kiss her. He hadn't felt this type of desire in years.

He jerked away his arm violently, causing her to pull back her own arm to her chest, clasping her hands together fearfully. She took a step back, praying she hadn't gone too far by touching him.

"I'm sorry, Lord Sesshomaru," she whispered, slightly bowing before him.

"Rin."

She looked up quickly, listening just as carefully as the crowd behind her.

Sesshomaru stared at her for a few agonizing moments as he fought himself.

The clouds above began to rumble and the sunlight was now completely blocked out. It would surely rain soon.

Rin gulped just as Sesshomaru turned away from her and began to walk away. Rin's eyes grew even wider with shock and just before her heart could break, Sesshomaru looked over his shoulder and muttered, "If you're coming, hurry up."

**>**

Rin waved her final goodbyes as the first drops of rain began to fall. She could see Lady Adzumi waving tearfully at the top steps of the mansion with her daughters. Rin was upset that she had not gotten to say goodbye to Lord Kisho, but she could not take up anymore of Sesshomaru's precious time. She had simply changed clothes, said goodbye and left.

It were so simple now.

Following her lord just as she had ten years ago. It were almost as if the past ten years had been a bad dream, a nightmare of loneliness and depression that had finally ended by her simply opening her eyes to a new day.

Above her the rain was just lightly dusting them with moisture and Rin was grateful. It felt as if her old life were being washed away. She looked before her to find Lord Sesshomaru walking proudly ahead of her, his strides strong and elegant. No matter how long she lived with such a rich family, she knew she would never achieve such an authoritative demeanor as his.

Behind her she could hear the uneven footsteps of Master Jaken clunking along. He had said not a word since they left and she feared Sesshomaru's command to be quiet had hurt him. She hadn't meant to cause trouble in returning to them. She loved Jaken dearly, like a funny uncle, but she had always felt her were competing with her.

Why was it that everyone was so damn keen on competing with her?

She did not mean to take away any of Sesshomaru's attention for Jaken, but it wasn't like he were always doting his undivided attention to the toad youkai.

She didn't realize the frown that had fallen upon her pretty features as they walked along, yet Sesshomaru had.

Due to the heavy moisture in the air, her flowery scent was flaring up and bombarding his senses. He couldn't described how his body were suddenly reacting to her presence. He felt like a hormonal human, like his hanyou brother.

Speaking of which, the group had now run to the trees for hiding and could clearly see Sesshomaru.

Kagome tugged at Inuyasha's sleeve. "Who is that woman with them?" she asked quietly.

Inuyasha frowned deeply at the sight. She were indeed a beauty, though she appeared to be troubled. Her head was tilted down and her expression were that of deep thought.

"Do you think he's kidnaped her from the village below?" asked Sango gently as she noticed what the attractive couple was staring at.

Miroku stood up immediately. "Well then we must go rescue her. A beauty like that does not need to be carousing with youkai such as Sesshomaru."

Inuyasha nodded. "You're right."

In a flash to the two were off.

"I'll stay here with the children," said Sango with an irritated sigh. Kagome nodded and soon followed after her husband and friend.

**>**

Sesshomaru looked up just as the three came bounding out of the forest, the weak miko dragging behind.

"Lord Sesshomaru!" wailed out Jaken, clutching his staff defensively.

"I see them Jaken," Sesshomaru replied cooly, keeping his eyes locked with his sibling's.

Rin turned and felt happiness jolt through her. "Lord Sesshomaru! You're brother is still alive?"

Sesshomaru did not turn to her but replied bitterly, "Regretfully the hanyou has managed to keep himself alive."

Rin bit back a small laugh and turned back to them just as Inuyasha landed before them.

"So I see you got jealous of me and Kagome and had to go get yourself a woman, too?" sneered Inuyasha, unsheathing Tetsusaiga. Sesshomaru let out an irritated sigh just as Miroku came to stand beside Inuyasha.

"Kidnaping an innocent woman is far too low for you Sesshomaru," grumbled Miroku, never taking his eyes off of the girl.

She rivaled Kagome in beauty and she appeared to be not a day over seventeen. She also did not appear to be afraid or scared to be standing at a youkai's side, which made Miroku automatically doubt his initial reactions that Sesshomaru had stolen the poor girl.

Kagome then came up, pushing in between Inuyasha and Miroku. Just as she did, Rin gasped.

"Kagome?"

Kagome looked up to the girl and for a moment, she had to place the face, the voice. Then it hit her, "Rin!"

Rin nodded quickly as Kagome embraced her tightly. "I can't believe it! You've grown so much!" she laughed, stepping back to examine the girl fully.

Miroku's eyes bulged. "Rin? The little orphan girl?"

Rin nodded, her brilliant smile exploding forth as a soft blush tinted her cheeks.

Sesshomaru stared at the monk and for the first time, felt a new sense of jealousy within him. He knew that glint which was in the monk's eyes. Just as Miroku were about to step forward, he looked up to Sesshomaru and thought it better not to.

"She's with you?" asked Inuyasha brashly, an ebony eyebrow cocked high in doubt.

Sesshomaru did not reply, though he felt Rin's eyes upon him, awaiting his answer. Instead, he turned away from them and began to head on over the hill and into the woods.

"Lord Sesshomaru!" called out Jaken, stumbling after his master.

Rin looked up, somewhat hurt and turned to the others, replacing her pain with a shy smile. "It was nice seeing you all," she said gently before stepping away. "I hope to see you all again sometime. Goodbye!" she called out over her shoulder as she caught up with Sesshomaru.

Kagome shook her head smiling. "I can't believe it. She is still with him."

Inuyasha sheathed Tetsusaiga once more and shrugged carelessly. "Who cares, she must be pretty dense to be following a boring guy like Sesshomaru."

Kagome turned away from the diminishing trio and smiled to Inuyasha warmly. "She loves him, didn't you see that?"

Both Miroku and Inuyasha exchanged puzzled looks, Inuyasha snorting. "What?" they asked in unison.

Kagome brushed past them, heading back to Sango who was now emerging from the woods with children in tow.

"She loves him. You could clearly see it on her face. I thought that at least you would see it, Miroku," she replied lightly.

Inuyasha 'humphed' at her comment and turned to Miroku who looked still rather puzzled.

"Well does _he_ love her?" he weakly muttered, looking back up as the three entered the woods.

Inuyasha shrugged indifferently. "Who cares? Kagome doesn't know what she's talking about."

**>**

Rin placed firewood at the center of the cave, watching as outside the rain began to fall even harder. She turned back as Jaken started the fire. Her eyes settled upon the now blazing fire as Jaken set down his staff, sitting next to her in what she guessed to be, a peace offering for his behavior. She scooted a little closer to him to signal she accepted it.

Across from them Sesshomaru was leaning against the rocky wall of the cave, sitting silently. His eyes were entranced with the fire, igniting them into a blazing gold as thoughts Rin could only imagine passed through him. The beautiful silvery color of his hair was being illuminated in the dark yellow glow of the cave, making him simply perfect in Rin's eyes.

Sesshomaru looked up and caught her smiling softly to him. She immediately blushed and turned away to look at the rain falling outside. He watched her for a moment, smelling her soft scent once again. He could still see the gentle glow of her cheeks.

He couldn't believe what a calming presence she had. It was such a simple, comforting feeling that just seemed to resonate off of her small body.

He suddenly frowned, noticing the hollowness to her face. She did not appear as lively as she had the last time he had seen her.

He remembered the old man's words of the rumors that she had not been eating, that she were sickly now.

He looked to her and a sudden annoyance came over him. "Jaken, go find something to eat."

Jaken looked up and nodded quickly. "Yes m'lord."

"For Rin."

Jaken stopped and glanced to the girl. Before, when Rin were younger, he had made her help him. They were to fend for themselves if they were going to follow him. Now he was being ordered to feed _her_, a worthless human?

Indeed, the girl had captured his master's heart. It were quite obvious now.

"Y-yes m'lord," he replied quietly.

Rin looked to Jaken and smiled. "I'll help you, Master Jaken."

Sesshomaru watched her move to gather her things as she followed the small youkai outside without a word to Sesshomaru.

Rin followed behind Jaken closely, trying to keep her expression light and happy as to keep the toad in good spirits.

"It's nice to be traveling with you and Lord Sesshomaru, Master Jaken," she said, looking around as she found a few nice mushrooms. "These will do nicely, don't you think?" she asked gently, examining them carefully.

Jaken shrugged. "They are for you. If you like them, get them, Rin."

She noticed the soft sadness in his voice and it pained her. "Master Jaken, you must get something to eat too. You look starved."

Jaken shrugged once again. "Lord Sesshomaru ordered that I feed you, so I will do just that."

Rin sighed gently, hating to be tearing the strong bond between Jaken and his master.

"Are you angry with me, Master Jaken?" she asked quietly, stopping in her search for food.

Jaken stopped as well, sighing deeply at the gentle tone of her voice. Rin had always held a place in his small heart that no other mortal had. It did not compare in the least to his affections for Sesshomaru, but he did care for the girl. He had to admit that he would enjoy her company once again. He didn't have anyone to talk with when it were just him and Sesshomaru.

When Sesshomaru did speak, it were never to simply make conversation. It were either an order or information.

As a child, Rin had always kept a conversation going, either with Jaken or with Aun-un. The soft murmur of her voice had always kept him in a simply comforted mood.

Finally he replied. "No. I am not angry with you Rin."

He saw her face visibly brighten and she smiled. "Really, Master Jaken?" she asked earnestly.

Jaken half heartedly smiled and nodded. "Yes...now, now get moving. I'm getting soaked out here and you're just dwaddling with stupid questions. Hurry up, it's freezing!"

Rin continued to smile knowingly and nodded. "Yes Master Jaken."

She quickly plucked the remaining mushrooms and searched for extra for both Jaken and Sesshomaru, though she could only remember a few times seeing Sesshomaru eat and she could count those times on one hand.

When she had enough to fill both her and Jaken, plus a few extra should Sesshomaru get hungry, she called out to Jaken.

"Let's go back, Master Jaken!"

He grunted some sort of reply and headed back inside without waiting for her. She jogged over the brush and roots of the forest floor as quickly as her restricting kimono would allow and rushed back inside behind Jaken.

"We found plenty of mushrooms," she explained brightly, setting them down in a large pile on the floor next to the fire. "If I had a pot or something I could find some herbs and make us a nice little soup, but these will do just fine, don't you think Master Jaken?"

He nodded with a disdainful look upon his face. He glanced back outside just as evening began to settle upon the forest.

Sesshomaru watched Rin divide the mushrooms into three equal groups, her delicate hands moving gracefully as she grew silent. Her hair was damp and clinging to her face, as did her kimono. She visibly shivered and Sesshomaru frowned.

He knew she would become sick should she stay in those wet clothes, mortal women were so pathetically weak. "Rin, you should find some dry clothes to wear."

She looked up to him and nodded. "Yes m'lord. I brought an extra set of clothes."

She quickly left her previous intentions of dividing the mushrooms and began to unpack the small bundle she had taken from the village. She pulled out another set of clothes and looked back to Sesshomaru.

"Where am I going to change?" she asked quietly, a blush arising upon her cheeks once more.

Sesshomaru turned to Jaken, for he was not going to answer this.

Jaken hiccuped and turned to her. "Just change by the opening, it's took dark for anyone to see you," he replied matter-of-factly. Rin nodded to him and glanced a second to Sesshomaru before rushing to the edge of the cave's mouth.

She looked outside as darkness crept over the land. Indeed, no one would be able to see her safe for the two youkai inside. She turned and looked behind her with dark eyes.

Jaken had his back to her and Sesshomaru was staring at the opposite wall blankly. With a shaky breath, she began to untie the orange sash around her waist.

She slipped the soft materials off of her delicate shoulders and stood there, shivering as the thunderstorm's winds blew directly against her. She quickly bent to gather her dry clothes, thankful Lady Adzumi had insisted upon her taking two extra kimonos just in case she should need them.

As the winds blew into the cave, her scent blew with it. Sesshomaru turned and just as he did, he caught her eyes.

Her beautiful, thin frame was standing there, in all its glory. The only shield against his eyes was the material she held in her hands against her chest. Sesshomaru quickly looked away, feeling his body's heat intensify greatly, his breathing becoming slightly quicker.

'Get a grip, she's just a girl! You've seen countless female bodies before,' he snapped silently to himself.

Sesshomaru had seen corpses of women before they were to be burned after wars and such in the past. It was no surprise to him what the female anatomy was. It was just that...that he had an emotional tie or something to her...wasn't it?

Rin quickly finished dressing, tying her light blue obi quickly. She pulled her hair out of her collar, her cheeks still burning brightly when she returned to sit down.

Jaken was already finishing his stack of mushrooms and Sesshomaru naturally refused to look at her. She bit her lower lip nervously and without a word, began to pick at her own mushrooms. Silence, except for the storm raging outside, settled upon them.

Neither Rin nor Sesshomaru really minded at the moment.

**>**

"No!"

She awoke with a jolt, the word escaping her lips in a quiet cry.

She pressed a cool, clammy hand to her moist forehead and took a deep breath, shaking away the nightmare that so often plagued her dreams. She could still hear the wolves, howling out into the night. She could still see her parents, falling before her. Her mother's final words ringing in her memory for forever.

With a deep sigh, she glanced outside just as lightning flashed dangerously, illuminating the entire cave for a fraction of a second, soon to be followed by a growling clap of thunder.

Near her, Jaken was sound asleep, snoring softly as he cuddled against his staff. She smiled to him sweetly, before she looked up slowly.

To her surprise, Sesshomaru was sitting there as he had been when she had fallen asleep, but his eyes were closed and he appeared to be sleeping.

She couldn't remember ever seeing him sleep unless he were injured.

She watched him carefully, the way his chest slowly rose and fell, the way his eyes occasionally swirled behind his eyelids as he dreamt. His bangs fell low against his brow and she held back the urge to tuck them away.

She leaned back against the cool cave wall and took another deep breath, peering back outside.

It was so weird, how easily she had slipped back into the normal routine of traveling with Sesshomaru and Jaken. It almost disturbed her. He seemed to still see her as a child. Jaken also seemed to have forgotten that she were a grown woman now.

Rin looked down at her hands for a moment, biting her lip in thought.

Perhaps since time was such an idle thing to immortal creatures such as Sesshomaru and Jaken, that they just simply saw her as a passing moment. She would soon fade into middle age, then become an elderly old woman and waste away to become just another memory.

She glanced up to Sesshomaru's sleeping form and frowned.

She did not want to become just another countless memory to him. She wanted to be something to him because he had become so much to her.

The love for him that she felt was almost killing her slowly. She were so close to him now and yet she could say nothing. If he saw her as nothing more than a child, how could she expect him to take her seriously when she proclaimed her undying love for him?

The irony of the whole situation nearly brought tears to her eyes. In just a month she had been bombarded with countless new emotions that she almost longed for the days when she _were _just an innocent little girl, loving Sesshomaru as a daughter would.

Almost that is.

'I must be patient,' she told herself reassuringly.

Perhaps it were far too soon for her to say such words to her old guardian. She could possibly annoy him and he'd place her right back in that miserable village once again.

She turned away from him with a weak sigh and tried to drift back into sleep though she knew it were hopeless. She were now fully awake.

She opened her eyes once again and found golden orbs staring into the fire.

He looked up immediately and stared at her a moment before he spoke.

"Are you warm now?"

Rin nodded numbly, hating how he could catch her off guard with just a simple look.

He didn't reply and she hadn't expected him to.

She waited a few moments as a voice within her screamed to speak with him, to prove to him that she were capable of keeping his attention with more than just worrying him.

"Thank you," was all that she managed to let out.

Sesshomaru looked back up from the flickering flames, confusion written in his beautiful eyes. He didn't say anything for he knew her, and he knew she would explain herself as she had when a child.

"Thank you," she repeated, now looking at him with a kind smile. "Thank you for letting me come with you. I couldn't imagine living in that village for the rest of my life."

Sesshomaru looked away from her, one side of him wishing to believe she would have been miserable without him, the other doubting her words.

"If you had married that mortal, he would have taken you out of there," he replied calmly.

Rin nodded, pulling her knees up to her chest. "Yes, he would have...but I couldn't marry him."

Sesshomaru stared at her, searching her pretty face. She had grown so much. She were so very fragile to him and he couldn't understand why. He couldn't even remember what made him first save her when she were a child. He could think of countless reasons, but why had he allowed her to remain with him all that time?

"Why didn't you marry him? You have disgraced the human by not doing so," he spat coldly, his eyes closing up to her.

Rin almost flinched at his cruel tone, but did not let it deter her. She looked away at the fire a moment, choosing her words carefully, but could not find any other way to put it.

She slowly looked back up to him, her eyes so full of honesty and truth that there were no way she could have any other intentions for leaving her home. Even his stubborn pride had to concede that she spoke from her heart.

"I wasn't in love with Roiyaru, m'lord. I never loved him."

**>**

**A/n: There it is...ending with them finally talking to each other. I know it was kind of boring how it seems like she's just a kid to him again and he's just being cold and junk, but the next chapter will be more of them talking and more revelations about how they feel for each other. It's taking a bit, but I don't want to take Sesshomaru out of character. Please review and once again, I'm terribly sorry about the long wait! HAPPY HOLIDAYS! MERRY LATE CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS! I LOVE YOU ALL! Lol. **


	17. Wonderful

**With Or Without You**

**A/n: Hi guys! Back again with another chapter! ACTs are coming up, so updates are probably gonna be slow like this for awhile. This chapter's kind of short, but believe me, ya'll are gonna love the next one. Well...here you go!**

**Chapter Seventeen**

**Wonderful**

**>**

She sat there, watching him carefully. His eyes did not flicker nor waver from staring into hers. He simply looked upon in her silence.

In some ways, it did not surprise him that she didn't love Roiyaru. Marriages were rarely based upon love. The same for youkai and mates. One would simply choose a mate that was most compatible with them both in status and strength. It brought strong offspring.

He watched her continued to hold his stare without fear. It impressed him and comforted him at the same time. Her big brown eyes were a golden honey in the firelight, full of life and youth.

"But he did love me...very much so," she continued quietly.

A shadow of guilt crossed her features and Rin gulped. She still felt badly about leading Roiyaru on for so long, however; it would have been much more worse to live with him, letting him think she adored him for the rest of his life.

Sesshomaru cocked an ebony brow. He was no fool. He knew that the mortal was smitten with Rin. What mortal man wouldn't be? By human standards, she was gorgeous.

"Why didn't you love him?" asked Sesshomaru softly.

She looked up, her eyes narrowing.

The question surprised her to say the least. Never would she have expected him to ask such a thing. She twisted her hands together roughly, the ever present sound of the pit-pattering rain echoing within her ears.

Beside her Jaken shifted in his sleep, emitting a soft snort before settling once more.

Sesshomaru wondered why the question was so difficult to answer. He could see her milling over her words, choosing them carefully. He felt his heart racing and wondered if it was his or her heart that he heard beating so loudly.

She looked back up, cheeks glowing brightly with a new blush upon them.

She wanted to cry out "Because I'm head over heels in love with you, Lord Sesshomaru!"

And yet, her shyness held her back.

She bit her lower lip and shrugged in an almost defeated gesture.

"I'm not sure," was her lame reply.

Sesshomaru felt his heart's pace resume it's steady beat and let out an inaudible sigh.

Rin bit back tears, pulling her knees to her chest as she heard Sesshomaru rise. He said nothing to her, but simply walked to the edge of the cave.

Rin watched him carefully, her heart aching.

He paused only a moment before he stepped out into the rain and out of her view.

"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" she whimpered out quietly, banging her head softly against her knees with each word. Tears began to sting against her eyes as she cried into her knees, holding them tightly against her chest.

She was so frustrated, both physically and emotionally.

'Why? Why didn't I tell him? He was actually curious! He wanted to know everything and I shut him out!' she thought to herself.

In his actions, leaving the cave, she wondered if he was disappointed. She had had the chance to prove to him once and for all that she was an adult. That she was capable of admitting how she felt and what she had been thinking for so long.

She looked back up to the cave's entrance for him to suddenly reappear, and yet she knew he wouldn't. As a child he had often gone off for hours at time just to think.

'He'll be back though, he always comes back.'

**>**

Outside, standing in the rain, Sesshomaru fought himself. The cool air brought comfort to his heated skin and the chilling rain washed away his expression, yet nothing could cool the desire within him. Nothing could stop him from feeling something aching deep within him.

Inside the cave, he could hear nothing.

He wanted to rip away his heart and throw it at Rin for making him feel such things, but something inside him was curious. These emotions were new and strange for the youkai. Never had he experienced these feelings. He had assumed that should she return to him, the emotions would cease to exist, but they seemed to flare up with her presence.

'You could always take her back to the village,' chimed something within him.

The idea disturbed him more than anything.

She had said she did not want to marry Roiyaru, and yet, she seemed to have no reason for returning to Sesshomaru, other than her need to flee the village.

"Damn it," he growled bitterly, his teeth grinding as he looked up to the sky.

**>**

Rin sniffled slightly, now laying upon her side as the fires slowly faded away to nothing but glowing embers.

Jaken was still snoring feet away. She saw that he had eaten the remaining mushrooms, or Sesshomaru had, unlikely.

Her stomach was growling with hunger, but she easily ignored it as she tried to coax herself back to sleep. She had grown accustomed to being fed well everyday. She had long since forgotten the pains of living with Sesshomaru. You were to fend for yourself. You looked out for danger and should you encounter anything, then you'd call upon Sesshomaru for help.

'But I'm not a little girl anymore,' she thought sadly.

It had been a good hour or two since Sesshomaru had left. Her tears had finally stopped a few minutes ago, yet she could still feel the dull pain within her.

Before she had realized her feelings for him, Sesshomaru had been just a reoccuring memory. Roiyaru had been her man, but then again, why didn't she obsess over Roiyaru as she did Sesshomaru?

Every thought was not dedicated to Roiyaru, no. She had been preoccupied with her life. Then Sesshomaru blazed in and ruined it all.

'But would you trade it, so that you could go back to how it was before?' she asked herself silently.

She knew the answer was no. She couldn't be happier being with Lord Sesshomaru once again. Master Jaken had always been a true companion to her. She couldn't ever imagine loosing them again. She knew that she could only be truly happy once she confessed her feelings.

With determination pulsing through her, she made a decision.

She would tell Lord Sesshomaru her feelings. It was the only way to cure this heartache. If she didn't, then all the pain she had caused Roiyaru would have been in vain. If she didn't tell him, then leaving her home would have been pointless. She could pine for him either here or at home, it didn't matter, unless she told him how she felt.

Besides, hadn't that been the whole reason why she wished to see him once again? Just so she could tell him of her true feelings?

The worst he could do would be rejecting her, and even then, she had a feeling he would still allow her to travel with him.

With a soft sigh, she closed her eyes and began to determine how to tell him.

**>**

Sesshomaru headed back towards the cave as the sun began to brighten the horizon. Dawn was soon approaching, and the forest around him was awaking. He wondered if Rin was still awake. He doubted it.

As he entered the cave, he saw her lying upon her side, facing the dying fire. Her eyes were shut, but her cheeks were tear stained and he frowned. 'What was she crying about?'

The soft scent of salt was about the air, yet it was fading. She had been crying before she had fallen asleep.

He settled back down opposite her, watching her sleep.

Innocent.

It was the only word he could think of to describe her appearance at the moment.

Her hands were tucked gently against her chest, her lips parted slightly as she continued to slumber.

He glanced away, poking at the fire with a stick absently.

Soon Jaken would be awake and his constant babbling would wake up Rin. Sesshomaru didn't really want to touch her. He didn't understand what this need was to be with her, and he knew, should he touch her, he may snap.

"Sesshomaru..."

His eyes shot up and he looked upon her with intense orbs of gold. She was frowning slightly, now turning on her back. She whimpered slightly, licking at her lips soon after.

Sesshomaru couldn't take his eyes off of her.

She was dreaming of him.

She whimpered once again, now breathing just a bit heavier than she had been earlier. It was not the slow, steady pace of a slumbering person. No, something was happening to her in her dreams. Her frown deepened and then, a soft, deliciously sweet scent reached his senses.

He grew rigid, eyes somewhat wide. He glanced to Jaken, wondering if the other youkai could sense it. By the way he continued to snore, even more loudly than before, he knew he didn't.

Sesshomaru looked back to her, sniffing the air slightly.

There was no mistaking it. He knew that scent. It tugged and pulled at him like it had never done before. His skin was now blazing hot underneath the layers of clothing he wore. That delicate scent of her desire...It was light, but it was there.

By the way she was whimpering, by the expression upon her face, he knew his senses were not toying with him.

He had been approached by many female youkai in heat, practically bleating, begging for him to release them from such torment. He had never helped them. They were weak for seeking him out so, and their scents were never as sweet and tantalizing as hers was.

"Sesshomaru, please," she whispered gently, moving slightly.

He held back the beast within him as she called out to him. Never had he seen such a display as this. And Rin was the last person on earth he'd expect to see, writhing and crying out in her sleep for him.

Sesshomaru swallowed, looking away from her as the sun began to creep alongside the cave's walls.

He looked down to Jaken who was now slowly stirring from sleep.

He turned back to Rin as she seemed to be calming down.

"G'morning Lord Sesshomaru," muttered Jaken, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

He looked to his lord and was surprised at how dilated and wide his eyes were. He looked to Rin. She appeared to be fast asleep.

"Something the matter, m'lord?" Jaken asked quietly.

Sesshomaru turned away from him, staring back at the wall as he had done the night before.

Jaken rose up on his short legs and began to smooth out his robes. He bent down to pick up his staff and glanced outside. A bright, beautiful dawn was making its way over the distant mountains and Jaken breathed in deeply.

Though he appeared clueless, he was totally confused about his master's appearance. What had him so excited? Had he sensed another demon nearby?

He turned back to Sesshomaru, who was now standing as well. He was studying Rin very carefully. Jaken had never seen his master look at the girl in such a way before.

"Get Rin up soon," he ordered, looking upon her just a moment longer before turning away and heading outside.

Jaken nodded, looking to Rin, wondering what had captivated his master so much.

He walked quietly to her and shook her frail shoulder.

"Rin, wake up! Wake up!" he barked shrilly.

Rin's eyes fluttered a moment before she focused upon Jaken's beady black eyes. She sat up quickly, pushing off of the cool dirt and ruffled back her bangs.

"J-Jaken?" she whispered, looking to him as she continued run her hand through her thick mane.

Jaken frowned to her, wondering why her appearance was just as awkward as Lord Sesshomaru's.

Rin took a deep breath, feeling the hot temperature of her skin. Outside the golden beams of the rising sun were peaking inside and now falling upon her face.

She didn't have to look to know that Sesshomaru was already outside, waiting.

Inside, her stomach twisted and knotted as excitement and apprehension rose within her. Today was the day. She would tell him her true reasons for leaving Roiyaru, for why she didn't love him. Today, she would tell him that she loved _him_, Sesshomaru.

Rising to stand on shaky legs, she tried to rid herself of her intense dream. Never had she dreamt so. 'It was like it was real,' she mused with a girlish giggle.

A soft blush appeared on her cheeks, but Jaken seemed to not notice and carried on his business.

Rin waited until he left the cave before she gathered her own things, wanting a moment alone to just settle her idled brain.

She had been inside a mansion, being pressed hard against the wooden floors. The air had been hot and humid, his skin so hot and soft. He was pulling and ripping off her clothes, clutching her like she had never imagined.

"Rin!"

She jerked, blushing once more as Jaken peered inside.

"Lord Sesshomaru is leaving!"

Rin nodded, gathering her things in her arms. "I'm coming, Master Jaken!"

She stepped outside into the cool, crisp morning. It couldn't have been any later than six, and still the warm breezes of summer were making their way throughout the trees. Rin gladly welcomed the fresh air.

She needed to cool down and the gentle breezes were just perfect.

As for Sesshomaru, the breezes were a curse. They carried her scent on ahead to him, bringing on a flash of desire throughout his body, so he refused to look at her.

**>**

For quite some time they walked. After an hour, Rin struck up a conversation with Jaken and soon the solitary silence that Sesshomaru had come to love was broken once again by Rin.

He barely listened to their words, only the melodic tone of her voice.

Occasionally she would laugh, quiet and bright. She was so alive, so happy. He had never encountered someone like her. A human, she had chosen to tramp around the lands with two youkai. She had given up a lifetime of security to journey with a creature who's fate was yet to be decided.

'Was the old mortal honest? Did he speak the truth about Rin?' he asked himself remembering Lord Kisho's words about Rin's heartbroken attitude.

Throughout the morning and into the midday, Rin stumbled slightly on the uneven terrain, but did not complain. She simply kept her spirits high, trying her hardest not to let her nerves get to her. She turned to Jaken with a sweet smile and he just rolled his eyes.

She was so happy to be with him again, even if he were a bit mean to her at times. He was still good company and he could keep her mind off of Sesshomaru.

Once they stopped for lunch, she knew Sesshomaru would go off by himself, most likely "securing" the area while they rested.

And once Sesshomaru went off by himself and Jaken settled down for his short nap, she would seek him out and tell him. She could not possibly say such things with Jaken jeering at her with every word, and she knew he would.

She knew that their daily routine had most likely not changed and her assumptions were assured just seconds later.

Her heart leapt up her throat as Sesshomaru stopped ahead of them, silencing Jaken's words about Inuyasha and his family.

"Go find something to eat, we'll stop for now."

Rin felt all the color drain from her face as Jaken left her, walking out into the nearby fields to search for food.

Sesshomaru turned to her, looking down his nose at her with blank eyes.

"You should help Jaken, Rin," he ordered quietly.

Rin nodded without a word and turned to go help Jaken.

**>**

**A/n: Yes, it is shorter than other chapters, but the next chapter will be longer, I promise. So please review like you guys are so wonderful at doing and I will try my hardest to get the next chapter up sooner than I got these past two up! I really am sorry for the long periods between updates guys! I hate it when authors do this too, so I totally understand if ya'll wanna grill me about it! Lol**


	18. Ignorance

**With Or Without You**

**A/n: So I've taken a billion years to update once again, I know, I know. I'm so sorry. But, I actually got finish not one, but TWO chapters this weekend. I'm so happy about that, hopefully ya'll will be too, lol. I don't know when I can post it up, but it will be much sooner than this last update took. I hope ya'll enjoy! I won't give out any hints as to how this chapter's gonna go...hopefully ya'll like it!**

**Chapter Eighteen**

**Ignorance**

**>**

The warm sunlight shown down upon them in an almost blazing heat. It was hotter than usual, especially since it was the last weeks of summer. The winds continued to sweep across the fields surrounding the forest, blowing through the trees and high grasses. The small breezes came up to brush across her beautiful face, allowing her a moment to just exhale. A moment to just forget the pressure building within her chest, the anticipation rushing through her veins.

Rin stepped out into the small meadow that was surrounded solely by forest. Jaken was already amongst the tall grasses, only the top of his head visible. It continued to bob about, occasionally a soft curse word would come from him as he'd stumble or find something to complain about.

Rin always felt as small warmth spread through her when looking upon Jaken. He was, as said before, like her funny little uncle. She adored him, more than she would ever say.

She started off with slow steps, exiting the forest which still kept Sesshomaru and headed on out. She looked up to the sky, watching as the sun slowly crept into its spot at the center, signaling noon's arrival.

"Have you found anything yet, Master Jaken?" she called out softly, her own eyes searching the ground for something edible.

Jaken looked up and grunted. "I thought I saw a rabbit go running off in that direction."

Rin looked up to where Jaken's staff was pointing.

She saw nothing, but hoped that Jaken would catch it. It had been years since she had to chase after her own meals, and though if Jaken asked her to do it, she would without complaint, the idea of having to kill something bothered her suddenly.

'You're spoiled,' her inner voice snapped.

Years of having her meals prepared for her had spoiled her body. She had long since forgotten the pangs of hunger.

She frowned with a determined grunt and took off in that direction, her eyes searching.

Inside, the antagonizing, irritating need to find Sesshomaru was constantly on her heart. She knew that making the deal with herself to confess her feelings to him had been almost a self-induced curse.

She knew she would not find peace until she told him, and yet, telling something such as this to the almighty, all knowing Lord Sesshomaru was not as easy as confessing love to just some average man. He was a demon, a very well-known, powerful immortal being that had a stare as cold and strong as steel.

This was not going to be an easy task.

Nor was catching a non-existent rabbit.

Rin turned to Jaken, who was now near the edge of the meadow. She wiped the light trace of perspiration from her forehead while pushing back her bangs. The sun was now at the peak of the sky and burning brilliantly.

Rin looked away from the sun and sighed.

"I can't find it, Master Jaken. Are you sure you saw it come this way?" she asked with a frown.

Jaken looked to her shaking his head. "I don't know," was his soft reply, sounding quite defeated.

"Let's go look in the forest, Rin."

She nodded slowly, following behind the small toad back to the dark woods.

**>**

Sesshomaru watched Rin walking about the emerald field.

'She's a woman now,' he thought silently, his gaze never leaving her slender form.

She no longer moved like child. Her movements were precise and refined. As a child, she had been rambunctious and careless. Now, as she looked up to Jaken, she moved with a certain grace that most women Sesshomaru had seen, could never achieve. It was an inner class, an elegance that just emanated from her.

'A fine mate.'

Sesshomaru's face slightly frowned.

What was it with these random thoughts? These were things he never thought of. He had never considered any female as a mate. He was a solitary person and he had always assumed he would be alone.

Taking a mate would mean sharing his life with another person for life. He would always have her as a constant burden. Even as a child, she had managed to get herself into trouble. She would be a distraction and would always need him.

Yet, the thought of being depended on always intrigued him. The idea of knowing that she needed him was somewhat of an ego boost for him, though of course, he would never admit it.

He looked up as Rin and Jaken headed his way, conversing with one another. He looked behind him where a rabbit lay. He had killed it nearly thirty minutes ago and wondered how long it would take for the duo to realize it.

By their defeated expressions, he knew that they had not noticed yet.

"M'lord, we were unsuccessful in finding anything. Perhaps you have seen something nearby?" asked Jaken hopefully.

Sesshomaru looked to Rin, but as soon as she met his gaze, she averted her eyes.

Sesshomaru thought it off as nothing and turned to Jaken. "There is a rabbit for you two to share."

Jaken grinned. "Oh thank you m'lord! I told you Rin! I knew I saw a rabbit!" he exclaimed loudly.

Rin laughed softly, keeping her eyes low. "You were right, Master Jaken."

Without a word to her lord, she followed behind Jaken.

**>**

'I can't eat.'

She looked down at the tasty meat with sad eyes.

Her hunger had died the moment she had realized eating would bring her closer to the moment she both dreaded and anticipated.

Nearby Jaken was munching away happily as Sesshomaru stood yards away, looking across the meadow. She longed to know what he was thinking of. If she could only see into his mind for the briefest of moments, then she would finally know. Did he truly care for her?

"Rin, hurry up and eat."

She looked up to Jaken and sighed, nibbling at her meat.

She chewed thoughtfully, looking about her. The forest was quite beautiful, full of life and so very green with the steady rains. She had never ventured outside of her village since Sesshomaru had left her there, so how could she possibly know what the landscape was like around her?

She breathed in the clean air, relishing in memories of her childhood when the forest had practically been her home. She smiled softly to herself as she swallowed.

She turned just as Jaken rose up. "I think that a small nap would be nice. Do wake me when Lord Sesshomaru chooses to leave, Rin."

Rin nodded, wiping her hands together.

She watched as the small toad hobbled off to a deeper, quieter part of the woods. She waited for quite some time, listening to him stumble through the woods until his footsteps were silent.

The old toad was growing older and older everyday. Rin could see age upon his face, and though she knew he were immortal as all demons were, he just looked tired. He looked exhausted from the life he had chosen, and who could honestly blame him? Trailing after Sesshomaru was no easy task. Rin let out a sad sigh at the thought of her aging friend and turned away from where he had disappeared.

The fire from which their meal had been cooked was now just a few glowing embers. The sun was ever so slowly descending towards the west. It was only the early afternoon, but Rin felt as if a timer was ticking away, counting down the seconds until her chance would be gone.

She looked around her. Sesshomaru was walking across the meadow now.

It was weird, how he moved about when Jaken and Rin had him bound somewhere. To Rin, he was like a spirit, just a ghost moving about. She never knew why he couldn't just sit there. When he was injured, exhausted, or it was time for them to stop for sleep he would sit, but other than that, he was usually moving about until they were ready to go.

Restless. It was the only word she could think of to describe it.

Rin stood up slowly, wiping away the dirt from her baby blue kimono and smoothing out the wrinkles. She pushed her hair behind her shoulders and headed towards the meadow without a second thought.

If she thought, then she would allow her nerves to get to her and she would be hopeless. She had dreamed of telling him her true feelings, so why not finally tell him?

Sesshomaru stopped as he heard footsteps approaching. By the quiet, timid rhythm of them, he knew they were Rin's.

Sure enough, the heady scent of lavender and honeysuckle swarmed him with the persistent breeze. He inhaled slowly, for once, allowing himself the small pleasure of breathing in what was Rin.

"I hope I didn't disturb you, Lord Sesshomaru," she whispered shyly.

He turned around, opening his eyes to look upon her.

Standing a good foot taller than her, she looked up to him with hope filled eyes.

He shook his head curtly before turning away from her once again. He began to walk slowly away and as she opened her mouth to speak, she heard him.

He stopped a few feet from her and asked her gently, "Is this what you wanted Rin?"

She looked at the back of his head, frowning. Before she could question him, he spoke once more.

"Away from your father's mansion and your servants, you are just another mortal woman. You aren't a lord's daughter anymore. You aren't a younger lord's wife to be either...Is this what you wanted? To be stripped of your titles and status, just to wander around with...me?"

His voice, though as stoic and cold as usual, hinted something. An emotion had slipped through the words and Rin wondered, with all her being, what it was. She had never thought he'd question her motives so much. Last night and now here? He seemed so suspicious of her. Why?

As a child he hadn't cared. Was it because she was grown now?

Rin glared at the back of him, feeling insulted and hurt. Was he so blind that he could not tell? She clearly wasn't here for Jaken's affections and she wasn't benefitting them in anyway. She couldn't fight; she wasn't a priestess like the miko and she was no demon slayer. She knew nothing of those things. So why else would she be here?

"Is it that hard to accept that I was not happy, m'lord?" she finally asked, her voice betraying her miserably.

She didn't care. She had come to him with the hopes to tell him she loved him, and now he spoke to her as if she was some treacherous thing.

Sesshomaru turned slightly, looking at her from the corner of his eye as she stared at him indignantly.

"I was miserable in that village...but I stayed there because you asked me to. I promised you I would stay there, and so for ten years I lived there."

She stared at him, knowing fully well that every word she said, he heard.

Sesshomaru felt a sudden flare of his temper at her words. Had he not placed her in one of the safest villages around? Naraku was just a distant rumor to the people who lived there. Never had Naraku even thought of venturing near that village for it had nothing of value to him. Sesshomaru knew that a child as lively and sweet as Rin would easily fall into the right hands of some mortal.

He could have abandoned her!

He could have left her for dead when they first met!

Now she was telling him it was then, when she was being pampered by a rich man and his wife, that she was the most miserable?

He turned on her quickly and he expected her to cower, and yet, much to his annoyance, she stood her ground.

"Would you have been happier had I let those wolves tear you limb for limb?"

The words cut her, but she did not step down.

"You were dead and I brought you back to life. You needed a guardian and without even asking, you assumed me to be it. You were constantly getting into trouble, and only I rescued you. Naraku could have killed you easily, but I was your protector."

He didn't know what it was that was making him so angry at her, perhaps after these weeks of longing for her, wanting her...all these new emotions that _she _had caused...

He hated her for doing what she had done to him. She had captivated him entirely and still had the gull to throw his kindness back in his face when all he had done was asked a simple question.

"Do not insult me, wench. You are lucky that I, Sesshomaru, am so gracious to let you simply stay with me."

Rin huffed up, her eyes tearing up. Never had her eyes burned with such heated tears as these. She felt her heart breaking along with her temper rising.

"It was my choice to come back to you! I could have stayed there! I could have married Roiyaru, but I _wanted _to come with you!"

Rin did not know her voice was rising, nor that Jaken could clearly hear them both. She stared at him, her lower lip quivering.

Sesshomaru knew that he had hurt her. It was clearly written upon her angelic face, and yet he almost felt a twinge of satisfaction for hurting her. He had been cursed with these feelings for her, so this was the only way he could think of returning such a _curse_.

"I am grateful for all that you have done for me! I can't deny that _m'lord_. If you didn't want me around, why didn't you tell me! If I was such a burden, why didn't you just drop me off?"

She sniffled slightly and continued on with her heartbroken rant. "But you did. You left me in some village for ten years...and all I had were rumors that Naraku had killed you."

Sesshomaru cocked his head slightly, peering down the bridge of his nose at her. When he looked at her in such a way, she felt like trash. She was just some dumb girl and he some superior being. It irritated her all the more.

"And then, then you came back, but once again, you left me! I...I was..."

Her courage faltered instantly and she looked away.

Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed. "What?"

Rin looked up to him, tears now falling freely from her big brown eyes. Her eyes, so full and large. Those pink, soft little lips that were drawn in a pout. She was beautiful in Sesshomaru eyes...in a sadistic way, he found her most beautiful when upset.

"I was heartbroken," she muttered miserably, hating him just as much as she loved him.

Sesshomaru frowned slightly.

Her father's words were true then. He had broken her heart when he had left her...was he breaking it once again? The thought of her actually loving him suddenly frightened him. Though he had had her father's words in his mind for weeks, he had never actually thought she'd love him. Maybe she had been infatuated, but not in love.

"To be heartbroken, you would have to be in love Rin," he muttered snobbily, more to himself than her.

"You mortals are so pathetic with your emotions. You fall for anything. Especially you females. You trap mortal men with your words," he snapped. "You will not trap me."

Rin stared at him helplessly. Was he that ignorant? Was he that afraid of emotion to not see her falling apart right in front of him? She shook her head.

"I cannot trap you, Lord Sesshomaru."

She let out a small whimper. "I would never wish to trap someone such as you...Can't you see? I am not some vindictive woman as you seem to think I am! I love you, Lord Sesshomaru!"

She shook her head once again, ignoring the somewhat surprised expression upon his face. "And I don't care what you think anymore because you clearly could careless as to what I think! I just wanted you to know that I love you before I left," she spat out angrily.

She turned away from him, wiping away her tears with the back of her hand carelessly. "I won't be a burden to you anymore."

Sesshomaru stared at her as she walked rigidly away. Her head was held high and her shoulders back. He stood there, feeling like a fool. Yes, the Lord Sesshomaru felt like a fool.

His anger tried to flare up, but the shock of her actually confessing that she did love him blew out his temper. Such a fire in such a tiny frame! She had silenced him, and never had he felt more strongly for her then he did at that moment.

**>**

Rin walked into the woods, tears falling freely from her eyes. She didn't even see Jaken hiding amongst the bushes. She didn't see anything but the path before her, leading deeper and deeper into the woods. She heard nothing, nor felt anything.

Her heart was broken yet again, and her eyes were full of tears once more.

Was this the price of loving a youkai? Was it a curse to fall for someone such as them?

Rin thought back to Kagome and Inuyasha. All too often Rin had seen the girl look longingly towards the hanyou years ago. She had seen the pain in the older girl's eyes. She also knew of Inuyasha's mother and the ill fate she received for loving a youkai.

She had lost her love at a young age.

Had Rin already lost hers?

**>**

**A/n: So she confessed...and Sesshomaru was...Sesshomaru about it. The next chapter is coming soon, I promise! It's already written and edited and everything! So review, review, review and it will be up before you know it! Thanks for all the patience guys, I love you all:P**


	19. Notice Me

**With Or Without You**

**A/n: Hi everybody! Yes, it has been almost two months and I know I said I had two chapters done on my last update, and that was no lie. I actually did have this chapter done, but alas, being my worst critic, I hated it and rewrote it about three times. Finally I realized that I couldn't get everything I wanted into one chapter without smooshing it all together, or it would be five years long, lol. So instead as I rewrote it, I split this chapter so it wasn't horribly long. I mean, it's still long, but yeah...lol. I have like two trillion other excuses, but that's the biggest reason for not getting this chapter out. So the only other thing I can say is I'm terribly, terribly sorry and...Enjoy!**

**Chapter Nineteen**

**Notice Me**

**>**

Night had fallen quicker than either of the two had expected. On opposite sides of the forest, the two sat. One crying, the other thinking. The stars above were brighter than they had ever been, the moon a large, full circle that illuminated the entire landscape. The heat of the day had dulled somewhat as twilight had fallen, yet it was still very warm.

The elegant youkai, standing near a clearing far from the meadow he had last seen Rin in, peered far off into the distance. He didn't know where she was. He didn't even know if she was still nearby. The sweet scents of the fresh air were bombarding his senses, yet none could compare the heavenly scent her skin carried.

His eyes looked up to the sky. His eyes, now golden with the silver stardust of moonlight, were full of turmoil.

So many things were telling him that his thoughts of her were wrong. The insistent voice of his younger days was screaming at him for his insolence, for his allowance of such weakness. He was just as weak as his father, just as stupid.

And yet the pain she had displayed, the tears that had fallen because of him haunted him. The hopes of her becoming some distant memory were now just an idiotic idea, for he could never forget her.

She was the only one to ever say she loved him.

The only one to say he had broken her heart.

Sesshomaru, as powerful as he was, was breaking down beneath his blank facade. The constant battle within him to stay away from her, to keep his emotions for her in check was wearing him down. She was the hardest, most challenging foe he had ever encountered and finally, as he turned away from his spot, he feared he may be losing to her.

**>**

Rin stood up, pushing off of the newly fallen tree which had become her perch for hours. Around her the forest was both falling asleep and awakening. An owl was emitting its haunting hoot yards away, and nearby crickets were chirping the coming of night.

It was a serene, surreal world that Rin did not fear. As a child, she learned that the night was nothing to be afraid of. It was what lurked in the darkness of the night that was worth fearing.

And yet, with Naraku gone and the fact that she was so very upset, she felt nothing like fear at the moment.

Her dark brown eyes had already adjusted to the dark hours ago. She looked around her, debating as to whether she should return to the meadow or if she should simply return to the village.

The latter had been her first decision as she had stomped away from him. She was heading back to her lovely adoptive mother and fat, jolly father. She knew that they would welcome her home. Though she would never consider marrying again, she could live the rest of her days in the village, tending to the children of busy women and the sick and elderly. She would become somewhat of a nun, maybe a priestess even, like Kagome.

She had pondered on it for hours, wondering if Sesshomaru would come after her, or if he would even care that she had gone.

As she looked about the forest, she dreaded returning to the village. The sweet, delicately warm breezes were sweeping about her as she headed through the forest. It was fairly warm for night, and she was so thankful for it.

She didn't know what she was going to say to Sesshomaru if she saw him. She didn't even know if he would still be in the clearing at the heart of the forest when she got there. All she knew was that she needed to be back.

Her eyes looked about, searching for a path or anything.

Perhaps after saying her final goodbyes to Jaken, she could move onto a different village, a village where no one knew her. She could start off with a clean slate and try to start a new life. She would forget about Sesshomaru and move on.

With a slight whimper, she knew it was a hopeless idea. Never, in a million years, could she forget him, but damn it, she would try. There was no point in loving someone who did not love you. The anticipation and excitement of containing her love for him, her precious little secret, was now gone.

Despite telling him her heart's true feelings, she did not feel any less pain. If anything, she felt more. To tell someone she loved them and then to have that feeling not returned was as if she had never said anything at all.

With a sigh of both weariness and heartache, she continued to move through the darkened forest in solitude.

**>**

Jaken stared blankly into the small fire before him. Hours ago, both Rin and Sesshomaru had disappeared into opposite sides of the forest. Now, alone once again, Jaken sat awaiting his master.

He looked up to the twinkling stars above. He wondered what Sesshomaru's father thought of all this. Was he laughing in the afterlife at his oldest son's ignorance? Jaken breathed in slowly, inhaling the thick aromas around him.

Though he would not speak it aloud, he was worried about the girl. It was not wise for a mortal woman to go romping about the forest at night. He heard a twig snap behind him and turned abruptly.

Nothing but a squirrel, staring just as curiously at him as he was at it.

He turned back to the fire's glow, his hope diminishing and his worry increasing.

After hearing Rin's plea, after seeing her tears, he had finally allowed himself to believe that she loved Sesshomaru. And by the look upon Sesshomaru's face, he knew that his lord had not expected such a dramatic confession.

Jaken blinked slowly, feeling sleep tug at him though his busy mind would not allow it.

"You're still awake, Master Jaken?" came her soft words.

He turned at her angelic voice and offered her a slight grin.

He was, to say the least, relieved to see her in one piece. He would not hear the end of it from his lord had she been injured. Though she was not physically hurt, her eyes were bloodshot and her cheeks rosy from crying.

She moved quietly to sit beside him. She smoothly pulled her legs to her and chest and hugged them tightly. When she continued to stare into the fire, Jaken turned to it as well, pulling his eyes from her pretty profile.

For quite some time they sat there in silence, Jaken understanding her need for simple company, and Rin thankful for it.

Behind them, yards away, an owl hooted once more. The fire crackled and popped before them, and yet neither of them spoke. Rin would sniffle occasionally, but Jaken hoped her crying spell was over. He would glance at her from the corner of his eyes to happily see her eyes were still dry, though her lips would quiver with every sniffle.

She finally turned to him, but before she could speak he answered her. "He left moments after you. I don't know where he went, probably out looking for you."

Rin smiled, nodding.

"Oh," was all she said.

Jaken looked to her, debating his words. He didn't, in any way, want to upset her any more.

"What are you going to do now, Rin?" he asked slowly, thoughtfully.

Rin's eyes stared into the fire, unblinking. She didn't speak for a few moments, and for a moment Jaken thought she wasn't going to answer, but finally her shoulders shrugged slightly, and she replied with a quiet voice.

"I'm not entirely sure, Master Jaken...I don't want to leave, but I know I must. Lord Sesshomaru doesn't want me around, so there's no reason to stay," she stated sadly.

Jaken said nothing.

"I suppose I could return home, collect a few supplies from my mother and then move onto another village. I could always work on a farm, tending to the fields, or perhaps the children of a village."

Rin placed her chin upon her knees and bit her lower lip. "I don't know, I've never really been on my own before. I'm not even sure if anyone would accept me."

Jaken clucked his tongue like a comforting parent and shook his head. "Rin, you would have no problem finding your place in a new village. You would be accepted anywhere."

Rin smiled to him. "You really think so, Master Jaken?"

Jaken nodded with a stern expression. He glanced to the fire a moment before he said seriously, "Yes, but I also think that you are really supposed to be here."

Rin frowned, entranced by this sudden change of character in her small companion.

"Though Lord Sesshomaru does not _say _it, and though you may not _see _it, I have noticed things about him in these past few weeks. M'lord has changed immensely since we saw you again."

Jaken shifted in his seat slightly, poking at the fire absently with a small twig before pitching it into the fire.

"You, a meddling mortal, has gotten to my lord, Rin."

The small toad puffed up slightly, looking at her squarely in the eye. "Now you had better fix it because I do not like him this way. He isn't himself."

Rin, eyes brimming with fresh tears, nodded. She could hear Jaken's hidden message, hiding underneath his gruff tone. No one knew Lord Sesshomaru better than Jaken. She leaned over and kissed Jaken briefly upon the cheek.

"Thank you, Master Jaken."

He turned to her, cheeks a deep crimson upon his green skin. He pushed away from her, scrabbling to the opposite side of the fire. "Rin! What on earth are-"

She continued to grin, happy tears still sprinkling her cheeks. "I won't tell if you won't."

Jaken's curses silenced and with a small smile, he nodded.

Rin settled more comfortably upon the dusty earth and awaited, alongside Jaken, for Lord Sesshomaru's return.

**>**

Morning dawned brilliantly bright the following day.

The forest, always an early riser, woke Rin and Jaken with the whistling, busy sounds of nature. Rin snuck off to bathe nearby while Jaken started another fire for breakfast. Luckily he had caught another rabbit early the previous evening. He silently began to cook it, happy to be alone on such a nice morning.

Rin shivered, many yards away, as she quickly washed away the dirt on her in the chilling stream. It was a shallow stream, leading to a rather shallow pool. Reaching only her mid thighs, Rin sat in the water. Her teeth chattered noisily as she smoothed the water over her goose bumped skin.

She dipped her head back and let out a small gasp as the water hit her scalp. She smoothed back her bangs into one, thick mane and began to gently scrub her scalp.

The paleness of her skin alarmed her of how truly cold it was.

She dipped one final time under water before rushing to the shore. Amongst the shore, a group of tall reeds stood. There, Rin had found a small patch of sand where she could lie out, but still remain concealed.

Only yards away her clean kimono lay, and the sun was just now making its way into the sky. She could feel the warmth of the sand beneath her and relished in it. Lying down completely, she closed her eyes with a shuddering sigh.

As a child, this had been her daily routine.

She would bathe in the nearest stream, then lie out in the sun until her hair was dry. As a child, she had not feared being caught naked. Now though, every little noise alarmed her of a predator. She was constantly rising up, rigid, her dark eyes searching the stream, just barely visible amongst the reeds.

After a small frog had alarmed her for the millionth time, Rin finally lay back down. She let out a slow breath, calming herself. No one would ever roam about these woods this early. She had nothing to worry about.

She let out a small sigh, staring up into the golden slivers of sunlight between the trees above. Her heart was still constantly aching, but there was nothing she could do. Sesshomaru had clearly displayed his true feelings, and Rin had too much pride to go back and speak with him.

And Jaken's words had given her foolish heart a newfound hope. Usually Jaken would stay out of his master's business, though he'd often complain about it. But never had he spoken so kindly to Rin before. And Rin could never, ever remember hearing Jaken speak such words.

He had never mentioned of his lord feeling for another being in such a way.

Her heart beat with a new rhythm this morning, making her feel as if she still had a final chance.

The delicious scent of rabbit drifted through the woods, making her stomach growl. She sat up more casually than before. She tried to wring out the remaining dampness of her hair and peeked out amongst the reeds.

She saw nothing but the serene peacefulness of the pool. Without a sound, she pushed away the reeds and moved quickly to dress. As she tied her obi tightly closed, she let out a relieved sigh that no one had come across her.

She looked up and turned to head back to Jaken.

It was then that she noticed it.

The constant drum of the forest had died away to silence. Even the pool behind her had suddenly stilled. Living long enough in the forest, Rin knew silence was a sign of trouble. She felt her heart begin to race, but knew she must remain calm. Jaken was only yards away after all. She looked about her, yet still kept her movements as if she had noticed nothing.

She then saw a movement from the corner of her eye and jerked.

Before she could even let out a squeak, a large scaly hand covered her mouth.

**>**

Sesshomaru walked quietly through the woods. From somewhere nearby, he could smell the delicious scent of fresh rabbit. He assumed Jaken was already awake.

However, he was fairly worried about Jaken or food.

Throughout the entire night, he had not come across her. Her scent was off in a small clearing, but throughout the night it had slowly faded away. Sesshomaru figured he could only go ask Jaken if the small toad had seen the young beauty.

Sesshomaru felt foolish for allowing her to tramp off into the woods alone. Who knew what she could get herself into?

It was then that the hairs on the back of his neck rose, sending his instincts into overdrive. He looked about him, wondering what was wrong.

He moved towards the water, when he then caught wind of it.

It was Rin's scent, full of fear.

He raced through the thick brush towards the pond.

**>**

Rin kicked and squirmed against the hard body holding her. She stared down at the large hand covering her mouth, the other holding her against her capture.

"You can squirm all you want, you dirty wench. It will all be over soon. Your young, soft body will make a fine breakfast and give me so much energy," came a raspy voice near her ear. "Though I must say, you don't have much meat on your bones. Pity you're such a skinny mortal." The demon's hot breath sent chills down her spine, causing her to unconsciously tremble. Tears stung her eyes as she continued to fight against the demon's overpowering strength.

She could feel adrenaline coursing through her as she fought against him, using every limb and muscle to move away from the beast.

'I can't die...I won't die! I've got to get myself out of this!' Rin ordered herself. She opened her mouth slightly and bit down upon the demon's hand.

"Ahhh!" he growled out, releasing her mouth.

Rin took in a deep breath and cried out, "Help me! Someone help!"

The creature turned her in his arms, facing her fully.

Red scales ran all along the creature's body. His bleak, black eyes stared angrily into hers as he snarled out viciously. Rin could only guess he was some kind of lizard demon.

She began to beat his chest, twisting and pushing away from him more than ever. "Lord Sesshomaru!" she screamed out.

Sesshomaru emerged from the forest to see Rin on the opposite side of the pond, kicking and scratching a demon who held her in his arms.

"Shut up you stupid wench!" it spat out, rearing its hand back and hitting Rin swiftly across the face.

Rin fell to the ground, feet away. She held her cheek in her hand, dark raven hair falling over her eyes. Her fall was not unnoticed by golden eyes.

The lizard demon approached her slowly, leering darkly at her.

"What's a mortal like you doing out here, anyways?" he growled viciously, snatching her up by a handful of dark locks.

Rin whimpered out, exposing a busted lip and teary eyes.

"Well?" snapped the demon, pulling her face close to his. Rin sniffled softly, closing her eyes against the demon's breath.

"She's with me," came a chillingly calm voice.

The demon turned to see Sesshomaru standing feet away. The demon sneered. "You're telling me that this worthless girl is with you, a youkai?"

Rin opened her eyes and grinned as best she could with a bleeding lip. "Lord Sesshomaru!" she whispered breathlessly.

Sesshomaru glanced to her just a moment before looking back at the demon. An ebony eyebrow cocked up high as he spoke. "Release her if you value your life."

The demon tossed down Rin roughly, causing her to slam into the rough sand once again. She mewled slightly, pushing up weakly.

She slowly turned her head just as the demon cried out. Before the beast could even spark off an insult, a few slashes of Sesshomaru's whip, and the creature lay in pieces on the ground, showering Rin in a crimson rain.

Rin closed her eyes against the quick downpour before reopening them. She looked up to find Sesshomaru standing right above her. He looked down at her and without a word, gathered her up and in a white light, took her back to the forest's center.

Rin sighed happily though she knew this act of kindness was only temporary. The winds blew softly against her face as they quickly flew through the air. She could feel Sesshomaru's arm around her waist, holding her tightly to him. As she laid her head upon his shoulder, she wondered what it would be like to be held like this, and he actually mean it.

Sesshomaru looked down upon Rin as she let out a content sigh. The feeling of her small body against his was quite pleasant to say the least. He could feel the curve of body as it curled to mold against his. His heart began to race in his chest and he feared she could feel it as she lay her head upon him. Her scent, tainted by blood, blew against him before being lost to the wind.

Glancing forward, Sesshomaru frowned. His body was screaming at him to stop there and take her, to feel that body even closer against him, to breathe in all of her scents freely. Inside something told him it was right. That he had waited long enough, that now was the time to take a mate, to make her his own forever.

And then, sooner than either of them would have liked however, Sesshomaru landed in the center of the glossy field. His feet hit the ground gently, and he looked down to Rin.

"Are you hurt?" he asked sternly.

Rin shook her head, not looking at him. "No, I'm fine."

She took her sleeve and wiped away the small dribble of blood from her lip and offered him a small smile, her big brown eyes wide with innocence.

Sesshomaru slowly released her from his grip, still overlooking her for injuries.

Rin continued to smile, remembering earlier years when he had done just this. After a small scrape with death, he would overlook her quickly before releasing her to Jaken's care.

This time was different though.

Sesshomaru's golden eyes trailed a bit more leisurely over her body, and as a child she had never thought of his eyes upon her. Now they were the ignition to her desire. She could only look upon him with wide eyes, holding back her body's need to touch him. Her kimono never felt so thick, so restraining.

She swallowed hard as he finally met her gaze.

Gold and chocolate locked and Rin couldn't, for the life of her, turn away.

Neither could her counterpart.

Sesshomaru looked at Rin and saw something he'd never seen in her before.

Her eyes were so dark, so cloudy. He could feel himself falling into them, becoming lost in the foggy mist she was creating within them. A flush had come across her cheeks and Sesshomaru knew it wasn't from her last brush with death.

"Lord Sesshomaru," she whispered.

He looked at her for quite some time, wondering what was to happen next. An air of unknowing, of mystery hung on the day's breeze and it blew about the two.

Their world was shattered by a single voice.

"Lord Sesshomaru!"

Jaken came bounding towards them, tearing their gazes away from one another to him.

He caught sight of Rin, covered in blood and his beady eyes bulged. "Rin! What happened to you?" he squeaked out.

Rin smiled weakly, suddenly disliking the little toad for his neediness. "Just ran into a little trouble, I'm fine."

She looked up to Sesshomaru. "Thank you for saving me, Lord Sesshomaru."

Sesshomaru didn't respond, only glancing at her a moment before turning to Jaken. "Go get Rin a change of clothes, Jaken."

Jaken nodded without a word and headed back towards his small camp.

Rin watched him walk away, not knowing whether she should look at Sesshomaru or not. She looked down at her hands a moment. Her hands were still shaking, yet she tried to still them by holding them at her sides in fists.

Sesshomaru watched her profile, studying the turmoil within her expression. He wanted nothing more than to pull her against him, yet the expression of hurt upon her face told him not to touch her.

Rin did not mean to send such mixed signals. If anything, her thoughts mirrored his exactly.

Jaken came back quicker than Sesshomaru had expected.

He held out his arms to Rin and she quickly gathered the clothes, before turning to Sesshomaru.

"Uhm...I need to go back to the pond and wash up," she muttered meekly, blushing slightly.

Sesshomaru eyed her carefully. He couldn't leave her alone again. It was just too dangerous out here for her; plus, surprisingly, something inside him simply wanted to be around her.

He nodded slightly and started walking back towards the woods.

Rin looked down to Jaken for an answer and he nodded, his hands ushering her to follow. She smiled slightly and followed quickly behind, like an obedient child and father.

**>**

**A/n: Yes, not very climatic or dramatic, but once again, she's with him and they are definitely noticing one another. The next chapter is more of the conclusion to this chapter. **

**And is the end coming soon? I wanted to finish this before school let out, and that is still my goal. Hopefully I can finish this before May 25th, lol. But at this rate, it probably won't be May 25th, 2010 until this is finished! Lol, kidding, kidding. Please review as always! XD**


	20. Just Another Distraction

**With Or Without You**

**Warning: This chapter contains mature content, thus the MATURE rating. However, if you didn't catch that when you found this story, and mature stuff offends you, please just read until about half way through and then you can wait till the next chapter, k?**

**A/n: Hi everyone! I'm back and better than ever! First I have to say, as loud as I possibly can, THANK YOU ALL SO VERY, VERY MUCH! I can't explain how supportive your reviews were and many of them literally made me tear up! Thank you guys for the support! **

**Now on to the _REAL _reason you're here. I know in the last chapter I said I wanted to finish this by May. Obviously it didn't happen, lol. Other than the main reason, I also started writing this chapter and editing it, and the more I did, the more I realized I couldn't end this in just one or two chapters. But I promise, I will not drag this out to thirty chapters. It's already longer than I thought it would be. And, as you can tell by the warning above, there's gonna be some touchy feeley action going on in here, lol. And yeah, the chapter is pretty gosh darn long, but I'm sorry, I got to writing and it just ended up being like thirteen pages long, lol. Sorry! Okay, enough from me, here's the new chapter!**

**Chapter Twenty**

**Just Another Distraction**

_**Dedicated to my dear, off the wall, hilarious, misunderstood friend, Justin Schroeder. You left far too soon, and I hope that you know, now that you're in a better place, we all could have helped you if you'd just reached out to us! I love you and you'll be dearly missed by me and the class of '07!**_

**>**

From behind him, she followed faithfully.

She said not a word, as did he. In her arms, she clutched her clean kimono tightly to her chest. The soft stench of blood tickled her nose, the crimson liquid slowly drying on her skin and clothes. She glanced up to the figure before her, her eyes warming tremendously.

From behind him, he could hear her clumsy footsteps, timid and light. Like a small mouse, she was scurrying to keep up with him. The soft scent of her was tainted with the sickening scent of blood that repulsed him and at the same time, sent his demonic nature into overdrive.

The looks she had been passing him also did not help the demonic energy suddenly flowing through him, tearing at this every little nerve and thought.

'I will not loose myself to this. I am stronger than this,' he told himself sternly.

The scent of her, the fire within her eyes, it was all too much to bare.

Rin walked behind him, wondering if perhaps her master was lost. It was taking them twice as long to find the small pond than it had before.

However, she did not complain.

She was so happy to be in his presence once more, but the pains of his rejection still throbbed within her chest. She wanted nothing more than for him to hold her so tightly as he had done moments before.

'Don't be stupid, you're wasting your time,' came her inner voice, quipping bitterly.

Rin frowned slightly, her brow furrowing as her lips drew downward.

She looked up and stopped abruptly as did Sesshomaru, almost running into the back of him.

She looked up to him, watching him curiously before looking around him to see why he had stopped. Her head popped around his frame like a child, peeping behind a parent.

She gasped softly at the sight that opened up before her. She quickly stepped out from behind him to stand beside him.

A clearing expanded before her, displaying a small river, glistening golden in the afternoon sunlight. Ripples skipped across the water, and no sign of any demon, or demon remains, was to be seen.

"It's so pretty," she whispered to herself.

Sesshomaru looked down to her delicate profile, watching as her eyes shimmered with that same fiery spark he had seen earlier.

She looked up to him with a bright smile. "Thank you, Lord Sesshomaru. This is perfect for a bath," she whispered, not wanting to break the spell upon them or the beautiful oasis they had just entered.

Sesshomaru continued to stare at her with a strong, direct gaze. At first, her mind told her to look away, but her heart held her eyes upon him.

Sesshomaru studied her face, both hating and loving her resistance to his intimidating demeanor. Never before had he had such an urge to kiss someone as he did at that moment.

"I will be waiting in the woods. Do not waste time," he finally replied, surprising both Rin and himself at the softness to his voice.

Rin continued to smile, giving him a curt nod. "Yes Lord Sesshomaru."

He turned away stiffly, cursing himself silently as he headed into the woods.

**>**

Rin pulled her kimono about her, untucking her mane of ebony from her collar as she faced the cool waters.

The afternoon sun was now fully upon her, igniting her in a warm glow. Her hair was still slightly damp, but she didn't worry. She was warm in her clean kimono and the brilliant sunshine. She turned as she finished dressing, her eyes searching the woods.

"Lord Sesshomaru?" she said softly.

She watched the tree line, waiting patiently.

As if on cue, Sesshomaru emerged from the forest, standing before her handsomely.

She walked to him casually, trying to keep her heart's pace normal...which she found impossible at this moment. She was having enough trouble with simply keeping herself from gasping at his appearance in the iridescent sunlight.

His eyes, like fire in the sun, looked to her intently. His bangs, now dipping slightly over his brow and into his amber eyes, were shimmering, like the rest of his hair, a brilliant silver. She hadn't noticed until now that her lord's hair appeared just a tad bit longer than ten years ago. She like the look, though it was less polished, it gave him a more human appeal.

Rin stood before him, smiling slightly. "I'm ready."

Without a word, he turned and lead her back to their camp.

Rin, slightly puzzled by his strong stare, followed behind just as obediently as before.

**>**

Jaken watched as the two returned to the camp nearly half an hour later. Sesshomaru did not bother speaking, as usual. He simply moved to sit against a tree, his gaze moving from Jaken to Rin as she moved about the two.

Jaken followed his master's eyes and watched the lovely human girl.

Her hair, slightly wavier than usual because of its dampness, fell about her face as she leaned over to arrange her things in a neat little pile.

The stench of blood no longer tainted her. Instead her fresh scent was mixed with the aromas of the clean river and summer heat. She tucked her hair behind her ears, blowing at her bangs silently before turning to the two.

Each of them quickly looked away, looking in opposite directions.

Rin smirked slightly to herself, not really caring about Jaken's stare, but her lord's. She had somehow managed to steal his attention all throughout the day, and she was intent on keeping it.

Sesshomaru stared stubbornly into the clearing before them.

The open field, full of golden and green grasses swayed slightly in the breeze. By the looks of Sesshomaru, sitting upon the earth, Rin assumed they were camping there another night, and so she slowly, without a word, wandered out into the open field.

Sesshomaru turned to watch her, studying the confident way she held herself as she walked away.

After her angry outburst, after his silence to her confessions yesterday, she had returned to him, smiling all the while as if nothing had happened.

Inside, something was prodding at him, pushing him to tell her something, anything.

Sesshomaru turned to Jaken, his insides raging a war of two sides while he commanded his little companion.

"Jaken, go find supplies and firewood."

The small toad looked to him grumpily, but conceded. "Yes m'lord."

He said nothing more, and walked away into the woods. He wasn't stupid. He knew his lord was regretting his previous actions and words towards Rin. He would give them their time, their space to fix this. It would only build up if he didn't, and eventually Rin would either move on or wither away.

Jaken frowned slightly as he hobbled along.

He wasn't quite sure how he knew this, how he could assume how Rin would react, but it seemed right. It seemed that, if she truly loved him, just being near him would give her happiness. However, if it was merely a girlish infatuation, then time would easily heal and cure her of such an ailment as this.

With a gentle sigh, Jaken began to gently hum to himself in the stillness of the forest.

Sesshomaru watched Jaken, waiting until the small toad was nothing but a small shape, shifting amongst the forest floors before he rose up to walk into the meadow alongside Rin.

Rin walked idly amongst the waving grasses around her. Her hands drifted softly over the masses of golden and green blades. Her deep brown eyes were shimmering with a certain, expecting glow. She couldn't figure it out, but it was as if the winds around her were whispering a secret to her, teasing her, tempting her senses.

She could feel the afternoon sun, now descending further into the west, warming her mildly to the core. Her hair blew about her softly, tickling her cheeks.

Though her chest still throbbed dully with heartache, and her lip, still somewhat swollen from being swat at by a demon, was quite tender, her mood was light and happy.

She had resolved, while bathing for the second time that day, that though she may never have Sesshomaru's heart, she was bound to him. He was the first and only to capture her heart, and no other could take his place.

She turned to look back at where he lay, only to find him yards away, walking to her.

Her breath caught in her chest, but she soon released it, trying to calm herself.

His eyes pierced her own, staring her down in a silently.

Rin matched his strong gaze, though her lips twitched to burst into a bright smile. Instead she kept her face as serious as his own.

This produced quite an effect.

To him, he saw an intense, fierce young woman. Her mane of ebony was billowing around her in the slight summer breeze as her eyes, fiery once more, challenged his.

He stepped closer, but before he could speak, she opened her light pink lips.

"I want to apologize..." she began, but then seemed to falter.

She looked to her hands a moment and then shook her head quickly. "No...actually I'm not sorry for what I said," she said, glancing back to look him fully in the eyes.

Sesshomaru watched her closely, fighting his inner demons as this beautiful creature before him chewed over her words.

"But even if what I said meant nothing to you, I had to say it."

She walked closer to him, each step resounding within his sensitive ears. Once more, he opened his mouth to speak and she shook her head, surprisingly silencing him.

Sesshomaru stared at her with dark eyes, his lips tightly shut.

"You don't have to say anything...I'm scared to hear whatever it is you need to say."

She giggled softly, more to herself than the youkai before her. She glanced at her small hands, playing at the hem of her sleeve for a moment.

"I was going to pick some flowers before it got too dark," she muttered gently, speaking to him as if he had asked her why she was out there. She had always done that, answered his silence. It never seemed to bother her, nor him.

Sesshomaru studied her pretty face.

Due to the warm heat, her cheeks were slightly pink, her lips matching. Her dark, thick lashes dashed quickly as she blinked, opening once more to reveal chocolate eyes, swimming with hidden secrets and emotions. Her massive mane framed her beautiful face, and Sesshomaru could feel the demons within him roaring viciously for her.

Sesshomaru swallowed hard as the winds pushed against him more roughly than before.

Rin glanced over her shoulder, motioning to a small patch of flowers. "See? Over there."

She looked back to Sesshomaru and audibly gasped by the fierce intensity of his eyes. Even his expression had softened, his lips parted slightly. Rin had never seen this look before.

"Lord Sesshomaru?" she questioned innocently, an ebony eyebrow rising in puzzlement.

Sesshomaru swallowed again. His claws dug into his palm as he clenched his fist. His heart was racing, his skin's temperature rising faster and faster.

Her flowery scent bombarded his heightened senses, making his head swim as she stepped closer to him, concern evident upon her flawless face.

"If you want, I can go back to the camp, m'lord. I only wanted to enjoy this pretty field while we were her-"

He grabbed her small hand and jerked her forward.

His lips clashed with hers intensely, causing Rin to whimper aloud. Her eyes were wide with surprise and shock. Her injured lower lip screamed in pain, but she would not break this kiss for anything.

His grip upon her hand was just as strong as the fiery kiss being delivered to her willing lips. Her heart could only sing as her thoughts swirled.

But just as quickly as the kiss had begun, Sesshomaru pulled away, looking down to her through dark honey colored eyes.

Rin gasped, staring up at him with saucer sized eyes, her lips still stinging from his rough kiss. Never had she seen his eyes such a shade before, perhaps maybe once, when he was invoked in an important battle. Still...never had he looked at _her _this way...

He still held her hand, though Rin figured he didn't even notice.

She simply looked to him, so innocently, so hopefully.

"Lord Sesshomaru," she whispered, her voice so little suddenly.

Sesshomaru could only watch her, for he knew not what he wanted to do next.

Each of their hearts were racing, pounding, thundering within their chests and neither could find the words to say.

As Rin was about to speak, Sesshomaru leaned forward once more, kissing her again.

Rin instantly wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him downward. She wanted him to know what this meant to her, she wanted him to know she wanted this. Each kissed as if it was the last embrace either would feel.

Rin didn't care if she seemed needy or too eager. She'd waited long enough. She'd been patient and good. She'd behaved and obeyed. It was her turn to finally break the rules. It was her chance now, to claim her reward for such good behavior.

Who cared if he was centuries older?

What was the difference? She was human. He youkai. She saw no harm in it.

She loved him and that was all that mattered, and shouldn't matter to anyone else.

Sesshomaru could feel Rin, pushing against him as she pulled him towards her once more, yearning for another kiss. Her small body, so delicate, heated his own as it fell against his. His hand came to push at her lower back, feeling her flat stomach hit his lower stomach, making him hold back a groan of need.

Rin could feel Sesshomaru pulling her body closer and as he did, she prayed that he needed her just as much as she did him. Her entire body and soul was in tune with him. Anything he did at the moment, she would react to.

Sesshomaru broke away once again, and Rin looked up to him, clearly hurt.

"Lord Sesshomaru," she whispered, resting her forehead against his chest as she regained her breath.

He looked down to her, watching her look back up at him.

He studied her a moment, noting the dark blackness that had overtaken her eyes. The bright blush to her cheeks, the panting of her breath...

Rin bit her lower lip, wincing slightly at the sharp pang of pain, and then rose up tip toe to meet his lips and kissed him gently.

She breathed lightly against his moist lips. "I love you Lord Sesshomaru."

He looked down to her as she watched him, awaiting an answer.

To her dismay, she received no words.

Instead, he leaned down, kissing her throat in a carnal intensity.

Rin swallowed gently.

Her body ignited into a passionate fire, and she moaned softly. His mouth moved along her neck, nipping and tasting every bit of skin her conservative kimono would bare. Her hands, now at her sides, were clenched tightly.

She wanted this, and she needed it. Her heart was racing with surprise, with shock. Did this mean he loved her as well? Or was this simply an act of lust?

She neither cared nor wanted to know. All she knew was that at that moment, she was completely happy. His lips on her throat were growing rougher, his teeth now nipping even more on her porcelain skin.

She whimpered gently, tilting her head to the side to allow him more access to her silky skin.

Doubt still nagged at the back of mind, biting away at her body's desires. She forced the thoughts from her mind, wanting only to think of him.

And yet, another thought surfaced. This one was not of doubt or of love, but of fear. It was an anticipating fear that made her stomach twist and curl, fluttering with butterflies at the thought that this may be it, the final act to prove her love for him.

Sesshomaru breathed in deeply, his lips moving across her collar bone as his hand came up to push aside the soft material blocking his hungry mouth from its prize. He could hear her soft whimpers, and it sent his mind into overdrive.

Why was he doing this? Why was he letting his control slip so?

Because he needed this, and though he would never admit it, he wanted it.

He wanted her.

He looked up from her throat and suddenly looked around them, becoming extremely alert. He grabbed Rin's thin wrist and jerked her down beside him so that they sat upon the grass.

Rin looked to him and nothing else, studying his features, watching his eyes narrow on some unseen foe.

She dared not speak, but simply sat there, trying to regain control of her senses as her skin still burned.

Then, as suddenly as he had stopped, he turned back to her and attacked her lips more fully. Rin let out a small squeak, but received the kiss none the less.

His kiss, so passionate, so dominant sent her mind swirling once more, and the senses she had just regained control of were lost once more.

Sesshomaru slowly pushed her backwards so that she lay upon a grassy mattress. Her hair fell behind her, fanning out in a wavy halo of ebony.

Sesshomaru pulled up and stared at her, amazed at what beauty a mere mortal could hold. His dim witted sibling's mate didn't even compare to the beauty lying before him.

Her eyes, dark with lust, stared intently at him. Her dark lashes flicked gently, though her lids were heavy as she looked to him.

Rin was also enjoying her own view.

The sunlight was shining directly upon him, making him glow like an angel sent from above. His silver mane was shimmering like starlight and his eyes, as gold as ever, burned brilliantly with the aid of the afternoon sunlight. Her guardian angel, her savior...he was so many things to her, but at this moment she wanted to only be one thing.

"Lord Sesshomaru," she whispered.

It was his cue and he moved back to lay upon her once more. He was careful to keep his weight off of her frail frame and supported himself.

Rin met his kiss before he could fully reach her, her hands coming up to hold either side of his head as she kissed him harder than he'd ever been kissed.

He thought momentarily of his last kiss and found it somewhat difficult to recall. Though this thought made his stomach churn somewhat, he ignored this minor detail and slowly sat up as Rin pushed him.

She stared at him as they sat upright once more. Rin slowly, shyly, undid her obi and tossed to the side. She then, with shaking hands, moved her kimono's sleeves over and off her shoulders. Her eyes never left his. He watched as a bright blush crossed her cheeks.

Sesshomaru felt his hormones kick in, his body burning at the sight of her own as his eyes fell upon her body.

Beautifully sculpted shoulders led down to reveal her small, but supple breasts. They heaved with each of her excited breaths. Her stomach was slightly toned, but all together flat and flawless. He moved to her once again, and now rising on their knees, the two clashed once more.

Rin felt so afraid, but at the same time beautiful. Her heart was racing, and she didn't know what to do. The cool winds on her nude torso made her body react in ways she didn't think possible. She pressed against him suddenly, wanting to feel his skin upon hers, and to also cover her nudity. She kissed his lips softly before bravely moving to his own throat.

Though she had never been with a man before, she moved on instinct and it proved to be right, for Sesshomaru's hand came up to her hip. His hand slowly, almost cautiously, pushed away the remaining fabric, concealing her lower body from his hungry eyes.

Rin felt her fears coming on even stronger. Never had a man looked at her naked body before. She continued to kiss his neck, making her way up to his lips once more. Her small hand was upon his cheek as she stared up to him innocently.

She felt the light breeze tickle her bare thigh. She was fully exposed to him.

Sesshomaru pulled away from the gaze. He rose back to sit upon his haunches, wanting to see her fully. Rin, momentarily paralyzed in both fear and modesty, simply looked at him. And then, as if silently coaxing her, the wind blew against her.

Rin slowly, timidly lay back against the grass, her legs together. She brought her hands up, each by her face as she looked away a moment, her cheeks burning.

Sesshomaru watched her as she displayed herself to him, revealing her lithe, slender body.

Her hips curved seductively down from her thin torso, slimming back down to her long, sleek legs. Her ankles, lying upon one another, moved slightly as she looked back to him, as if awaiting an approval of some sort.

Sesshomaru rewarded her with a slight smirk, making her insides squirm wonderfully and sending her thoughts into fantasies of what was to come.

Sesshomaru quickly undressed, faster than Rin had ever seen anyone dress. She stared at him fully, his broad but lean chest as pale as his face. Smooth muscles were defined all across his body, alongside various scars amongst his torso.

Rin dared not look any further than his torso as she blushed once more, biting back the urge to smile in her girlish immaturity.

Sesshomaru moved over her once again, his eyelids falling shut as he kissed her lips.

"Sesshomaru," she whispered softly against them, her hands at his face once again.

Though his eyes seemed to be asking her should he continue, Rin offered him no answer. She felt him lower his body upon hers even more, and she squirmed slightly at the onslaught of feelings as his skin caressed her own.

Her body's movements did not go unnoticed by Sesshomaru's quick eyes. He inwardly grinned, amazed at how responsive she was.

Slowly he moved to her throat again, his lips nipping more roughly, wanting to hear her reaction.

He could hear her soft mews of delight and he continued to move across her clavicle, his lips, tongue and teeth working together to produce her soft cries of delight.

Rin stared with wide eyes to skies above, her hands clutching the soft earth beneath her. She had never been touched by a man. Only in her dreams had she been touched so intimately, and he was simply kissing her throat.

She could still feel her stomach, curling excitedly as her long awaited desires and passions came to be real.

His mouth moved slowly to the valley between her breasts, and Rin gasped.

Slowly she could feel a single claw, running up her thigh. She gasped once more. The claw dragged across her flat stomach, up her rib cage to find it's true goal. His hand cupped her small breast, his thumb flicking teasingly across her nipple.

Rin's arched against his hand, crying gently.

He smirked against her skin, looking up to see her pretty face, fully flushed with wide eyes. She looked down to him and licked her lips, blushing a dark crimson.

Sesshomaru was surprised that even now she continued to be modest. It was evident by the way she would blush each time he looked at her.

Rin swallowed, watching Sesshomaru look at her. She was not ashamed of her body's reactions to him...she was just surprised by how easily he could please her.

Sesshomaru came up to kiss her once more, her tongue now dueling with his own. He could feel her delicate hands intertwining in his hair, holding his lips to hers. He kissed back even stronger, feeling her body shift slightly under his own, feeling her slowly push up against his.

Sesshomaru groaned quietly, breaking the kiss to stare darkly at her.

Rin was not afraid at all. If anything, she welcomed his fierce stare. She wanted him entirely. She slowly rose up, pushing him back once again. She pecked his lips softly before looking down, her hands shyly moving across his chest, feeling the silky softness of his skin. She wasn't surprised it was soft, for she had never seen his chest fully exposed before unless injured.

One of her hands timidly ran lower down his stomach until she stopped at the silvery hair of his lower body. She looked up to him quizzically, fearfully. Sesshomaru nudged her with his nose, causing her to fully face him. He kissed her gently, encouragingly.

'Touch me,' a voice in his mind whispered.

Rin kissed back, feeling her courage grow.

Her hands gently, slowly moved back up, over his broad chest. He watched her expression, his skin blazing with every spot she caressed. Though he yearned for her to touch him as intimately as he wished to touch her, he could sense a fear in her movements, an uncertainty.

Her fingertips lightly moved over battle scars and the definitions of his well toned muscles.

She looked back up to him and grinned sheepishly, unaware of what to do.

Sesshomaru smirked to her, Rin dared to almost say endearingly, and kissed her upon the lips gently before laying her back down the ground. His hand cushioned her head, amazing Rin by such gentleness.

He did it without a thought. He didn't even think of how out of character he was acting as he moved between her legs.

Rin opened them without a word, though her stomach clenched with fear. Sesshomaru looked up to her and immediately the scent of fear arose from her body, though it was hard to distinguish from the aroma of her arousal, flooding the air and his senses.

Sesshomaru's eyes questioned her own.

Her dream came flooding back to her, the blankness of him, the sickly cold taste of his kiss.

'Stop it, it was a dream, nothing more,' snapped a voice inside.

Rin blinked and hoped that her eyes showed she was ready.

Sesshomaru felt his own doubts, his own fears surfacing once again. He could feel his pride pulling back, telling him to just get up and leave.

Yet his desire, his passion for her, and yes his love for her, were fueling him, telling him to reassure her...to like he had done throughout her life, make everything alright.

He leaned forward and kissed her lips. She kissed back, but her kiss was shyer than the others. He knew she was scared, and inside he was too. But she had said she loved him right?

He kissed her even more deeply, forcing her to kiss back. She wrapped her arms around his neck once more and kissed back harder.

Then, on the breeze, a scent that was not his nor hers, hit Sesshomaru's senses.

He immediately broke the kiss, and glanced up, arching away from her to get a better view.

This time Rin moved with him, her eyes just as alert as his.

At first Sesshomaru thought he was paranoid. His senses were all on overdrive, each one screaming at him for one action. He could feel his desire for her, the way his body burned and yearned for a final connection with the beauty beneath him, but the scent was easy to distinguish.

It was human. Several humans actually.

He pulled Rin closer, concealing her body against his own as she peered over her shoulder with wide eyes. "What is it m'lord?" she whispered softly, feeling his entire form go rigid.

He didn't bother answering. His eyes simply watched the trees, waiting for the group to emerge. They were most likely nothing but mere hunters, but his Rin was far too fair and beautiful for them to see in such a state.

He could hear them now, their heavy footsteps, careless and loud.

Sesshomaru looked down to Rin and glanced to her kimono, as if silently signaling for her to dress.

"Get dressed," he ordered sternly.

Rin gave a slight nod and moved quickly to her clothes. She pulled the soft fabric over her shoulders, pulling her hair out from the collar. The seriousness of Sesshomaru's gaze told her not to argue...though she never did. She was ever obedient with him.

Sesshomaru glanced up from his own swift dressing, only to stop and gape. She sat and moved about elegantly, unaware of his gaze. She was fussing idly with something on her collar, and had no idea of how she looked at the moment.

Her kimono lay open, barely concealing her breasts and falling closed at her lap. Only her mid torso was revealed, but it was the simplicity and modesty of it that made Sesshomaru's pulse race.

He then heard a man's hollow laughter and came back to earth, his head twisting in the direction of the booming voice.

What was with him?

He was idly slobbering over some female while men were moving closer and closer to them...

A sudden protectiveness came over him, and though Rin was just barely dressed, he scooped her into his arms and moved back to the opposite woods.

He plopped Rin down on a small patch of bare grass a few yards into the woods, and then moved back to stand near the trees facing the meadow. This all took a matter of seconds.

Rin sat quite flustered and confused. Her dark eyes were smoldering because of the humans. She had heard the man's laugh and knew it had to be human. It was too boisterous and free to be any demon's, and though Rin had always silently defended her species, at this moment, she really didn't care for them.

She could still feel her body hot and aching for his. Her heart still thundered within her chest. She watched Sesshomaru, wishing she could read his thoughts. He stood, motionless and silent. She knew he would not turn back to her until the men had passed.

She frowned suddenly.

It was not like her master to hide amongst a forest in such a way.

Yet just as the thought entered her mind, Sesshomaru, like a territorial dog, began to tread back to the meadow.

Rin stood up, and felt a light draft upon her body.

She looked down and gasped, realizing she was still partially nude.

Her cheeks burned, though she knew no one had seen her. She quickly tied her obi sloppily around her waist, concealing her body. She then, after one final check of herself, stomped after Sesshomaru.

Sesshomaru walked on, eyes focusing on the shadows moving about the opposite side of the field. He could hear Rin faintly moving towards him. He ignored her though. His blood was racing and he couldn't explain it. His instincts were kicking in as if Naraku himself was looming within those trees.

He knew why his emotions were so out of controlled.

The very reason was scurrying behind him, her strut somewhat angry and her expression full of frustration.

He didn't bother looking back at her. The heated temperature of his skin and the faint sensation of his arousal was more than he needed at the moment.

He then stopped, and waited for the men. He needed to get his mind off of Rin...

Had he almost made a mistake?

**>**

**A/n: Ta da! Lol, well I never claimed to be the best lemony author out there, so I'm sorry if their lil scene disappointed you! I hope you all liked it though. Look for an update in the near future, I swear it won't be an update that takes as long as this one! And I just want to thank you guys one more time for the support! Oh and happy Fourth of July!**


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